Greeting from an Ohio Atheist
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23-01-2013, 11:44 PM
Star Greeting from an Ohio Atheist
I've been listening to the podcasts on youtube for a while now, figured I'd join the community for support and some intelligent conversation.
About me: I'm a young conservative atheists, we seem to be a rare breed, lol. I was raised in a Baptist home, my mother, father, and grandmother are your stereotypical old school Baptists. They do not allow anyone to question the Bible, or even the clergy for the most part. The seeds of my doubt were planted throughout my childhood, but on the surface I was a strong defender of young Earth Creation.

Seth and the TTA podcast has been the catalyst for my liberation from the Baptist church. Thanks to him I have discovered Christopher Hitchens, Thunderf00t, AronRa, and a host of other resources that continue my enlightenment. I have wasted so many years of my life in denial and self hate. It is truly liberating to be free of the tyrant in the sky.

I have something I HAVE get off my chest, and since I can't talk to any of my family or friends about this, I guess I'll post it here, and I hope it isn't inappropriate for this board.

When I was 10 years old my family lived in government housing in the suburbs of an Ohio city. I was befriended by a man in his 40's named Kevin. I would go over to his apartment to play video games with him. You can probably see where this is going. Here's the thing, he never forced himself on me. Everything was consensual (at least as much consent as a 10 year old boy can give). It went on for about 3 years, and by the end he had me wearing girl's clothing, talking like a girl when I was around him, he even called me by the feminine version of my name. It still amazes me I was able to hide all of this from my family for so long. Nobody ever found out about it. It ended when we moved to another city.

When I started getting older, and finding girls my age attractive, I started to feel ill whenever I thought about what I had done. I sought forgiveness through prayer and begged Jesus to forgive me nearly every day. Fast forward a couple years, and I am diagnosed with a chronic condition that altered my life. For the past 15 years I have been convinced this was my punishment for the homosexual "relationship" of my youth. I found myself thanking God for just making me ill, instead of killing me like the wicked people of Sodom and Gomorrah. I was convinced my sins were worthy of death.

How liberating it has been with the realization that I have not done anything wrong! I am not being punished! It's like the entire world has been lifted from my shoulders. I was so ashamed of myself that I've never even told my wife about my past. To be honest, I'm not sure I should even now.

Well anyway, I hope I haven't grossed anyone out to badly. Mods, If this was been to inappropriate. feel free to delete it.
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24-01-2013, 12:26 AM
RE: Greeting from an Ohio Atheist
Quote: Well anyway, I hope I haven't grossed anyone out to badly. Mods, If this was been to inappropriate. feel free to delete it.
Not at all, Stissman. I'm sorry for what you've gone through. Sad

There's no way I can relate entirely to something of that magnitude, but I used to ask God in prayer to kill me for "sins" like masturbation on a regular basis. Better I die now for secret sins than disappoint my family by dying publically in Armageddon. They'd live forever with the pall of my shame.

It's a terrible price many of us inherited-- the guilt and shame. The long lasting psychological plague.

"The problem with faith is that it really is a conversation stopper. Faith is a declaration of immunity to the powers of conversation. It is a reason why you do not have to give reasons for what you believe." - Sam Harris
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24-01-2013, 06:02 AM
RE: Greeting from an Ohio Atheist
Welcome to the forum Stissman.

I think your probably braver than you may actually realise sharing your story, im really glad that this forum offered you an opportunity to do that.

I look forward to any future contributions you bring here.

For no matter how much I use these symbols, to describe symptoms of my existence.
You are your own emphasis.
So I say nothing.

-Bemore.
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24-01-2013, 08:48 AM
RE: Greeting from an Ohio Atheist
Welcome to the forum!

[Image: vjp09.gif]
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24-01-2013, 12:22 PM
RE: Greeting from an Ohio Atheist
(24-01-2013 06:02 AM)bemore Wrote:  Welcome to the forum Stissman.



I think your probably braver than you may actually realise sharing your story, im really glad that this forum offered you an opportunity to do that.



I look forward to any future contributions you bring here.

I'm not sure how brave it is to anonymously tell my story, but thank you.
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24-01-2013, 12:37 PM
RE: Greeting from an Ohio Atheist
Hello. I am new and from OH too. Thanks for sharing your story.
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24-01-2013, 02:05 PM
RE: Greeting from an Ohio Atheist
Oh, Hi-O Tongue
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24-01-2013, 05:35 PM
RE: Greeting from an Ohio Atheist
Howdy ho. [Image: Tip-Hat.gif]

Breathing - it's more art than science.
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24-01-2013, 11:28 PM
RE: Greeting from an Ohio Atheist
Jesus Girly! Put some clothes on No
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25-01-2013, 01:33 AM
RE: Greeting from an Ohio Atheist
Oh! And Ohio atheist here, too. Big Grin Jackson. Middle of nowhere.

"The problem with faith is that it really is a conversation stopper. Faith is a declaration of immunity to the powers of conversation. It is a reason why you do not have to give reasons for what you believe." - Sam Harris
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