Groan Worthy Jokes
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27-10-2014, 09:23 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
Every time when I heard about someone who excelled in exams and encouraged myself, "engage curve wrecker mode", I seemed to see a message appearing, "insufficient hardware resources, software failed."

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27-10-2014, 09:30 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
My ex-girlfriend invited me to her wedding and I was told to sit at a round table with several total strangers.

"what is your relation to the bride ?" One of them asked.

"Oh, nothing special. I just came to pay tribute to where I stood and fell."

"Salute to you. We are all brother-in-arms." They said.

-----

Not very sure whether my translation was able to convey the humor ...

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27-10-2014, 09:32 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
Teacher said that mistakes should be treated as appreciated fortunes. I looked at my scores, and for the first time in my life realized how rich I was !

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27-10-2014, 09:39 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
One day, Boss was very bossy and readily pissed-off.
I asked a colleague, "can men also have menstruations ?"
He cautiously looked around, wiped the perspiration from his brow, and then said, "today is pay day."

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27-10-2014, 09:49 PM (This post was last modified: 28-10-2014 12:22 AM by HU.Junyuan.)
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
- Mom, hi, I wonder whether I am a natural child of yours ?
--- Oh, little fool, of course you are.
- Ma, I want an iPhone 6.
--- Funny thing, you know, I start to recall a snowing night, when your dad and I heard a little crying sound between the bushes and wind's roar...
- OK, I get it. I'll work hard and buy my own iPhone myself.
--- That's my boy.
- Mum, I actually have money. I just wanted to see whether you love me or not ...
--- and we found a cat ...
- I only lack 200 bucks for the Plus version.
--- carrying a boy in its mouth ...
--- OK, stop ! I really get it now this time.

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27-10-2014, 11:47 PM (This post was last modified: 28-10-2014 12:20 AM by HU.Junyuan.)
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
A group of great scientists decide to play Hide and Seek.

Now it is Einstein's turn. After Einstein finishes his counting to 100, he sees nobody left but Newton.

"Aha, I got you, Newton !" Einstein exclaims with joy.

"No you didn't get Newton." Newton replies in a plain tone.

Einstein is a bit puzzled, "If you are not Newton, then who are you ? "

"Look at the 1m X 1m tile under my feet." Newton says.

"So ?"

"So you got Pascal instead of Newton."

"OK, wait a second." Einstein shakes his head to figure out what this Seek and Hide game is becoming, and then he sees Volt lying on the ground. So he leaves Newton for Volt and says, "I got you, Volt !"

"No you didn't get Volt." Volt replies in a plain tone.

"If you are not Volt, then again who are you ? "

"Look at who is beneth me." Volt says.

It is Ampere.

"So ?"

"So you didn't get Volt. You got Ohm !" Volt says.

Einstain has no other choice but to say, "alright, Ohm, I got you." When he says so, Volt and Ampere both jump up and then embrace each other hard.

"No, you didn't get Ohm. You got Watt." They say.

Einstein suppots his forehead with his right hand and sighs, "OK. I got you, Watt."

Ampere says, "We've been doing so for a few seconds now. You didn't get Watt. You got Joule."

Einstein is very troubled now. With anger, he contemplates at Ampere and Volt for a while and then strides back to Newton. Einstein kicks Newton off the tile and shouts, "Play no more games. I got you, Newton, or Pascal, whichever you prefer !"

Newton struggles to lift his upper body from the ground and replies, "I've moved ! I am also Joule now !"

After having witnessed Einstein's becoming pretty irascible, the much worried Joule jumps out from his hiding place, takes the 1m X 1m tile up, forcefully pushes it into Pascal's arms and then yells, "Don't worry Einstein. I've got Newton for you !"

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28-10-2014, 03:05 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
HU, you're killing it.
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28-10-2014, 07:30 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
(28-10-2014 03:05 AM)pablo Wrote:  HU, you're killing it.

Hu let the dogs out

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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28-10-2014, 05:21 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
[Image: imagejpg3_zps1d778db5.jpg]

I hope that the world turns, and things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. - V for Vendetta
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28-10-2014, 05:21 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
[Image: imagejpg1_zps332e1d1a.jpg]

I hope that the world turns, and things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. - V for Vendetta
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