Groan Worthy Jokes
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04-10-2014, 12:48 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
Did you hear that the guy who invented the Hokey Pokey died last week?

Yeah...it's really sad. They said it took two hours to get him in the coffin because they put his right hand in, took his right hand out, put his left hand in, took his left hand out...

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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04-10-2014, 12:49 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
Why do chicken coups only have two doors?

Because if they had four they'd be chicken sedans.

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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04-10-2014, 05:19 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
A Rabbi a Priest and the Dalai Llama walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "Whaddya think this is a joke?"

(31-07-2014 04:37 PM)Luminon Wrote:  America is full of guns, but they're useless, because nobody has the courage to shoot an IRS agent in self-defense
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04-10-2014, 06:49 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
Two men walked into a bar. The third ducked.

Atheism: it's not just for communists any more!
America July 4 1776 - November 8 2016 RIP
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04-10-2014, 10:29 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

Follow the fresh prints.

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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04-10-2014, 10:30 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
Why did the mermaid wear seashells?

Because she grew out of her b-shells.

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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07-10-2014, 11:15 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
So there's this girl in my chemistry class who keeps making eye contact with me so I decided to talk to her to introduce myself to her. Here's hoping I have



CHEMISTRY



With her.

“You see… sometimes life gives you lemons. And when that happens… you need to find some spell that makes lemons explode, because lemons are terrible. I only ate them once and I can say with certainty they are the worst fruit. If life gave me lemons, I would view it as nothing short of a declaration of war."
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07-10-2014, 05:12 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
A man walks into a bar and sits down to take a drink.

"Long day?" Asks the bartender.

"No, all days are 24 hours long," says the man, amazed at the bartender's ignorance.

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07-10-2014, 05:38 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
[Image: 763f5312007e02c8f7101930c38e4719.jpg]

I hope that the world turns, and things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. - V for Vendetta
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07-10-2014, 05:54 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
An Irishman applying for a job as a blacksmith was asked if he had any experience shoeing horses.

He said no, but he had once told a donkey to fuck off.

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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