Groan Worthy Jokes
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 1 Votes - 5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
02-11-2014, 11:12 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
This weekend was Garrison Keillor's annual (bad) joke show.
Here's a shitload of grown worthy jokes.
http://prairiehome.org/script/bad-jokes-...er-1-2014/
http://prairiehome.org/shows/november-1-2014/

I like this one :

“Darling, you’ve always been with me.
On life’s long bumpy ride.
Through sickness, hair loss, bankruptcy,
You’ve been here by my side.
My heart attack and the house burning down
That night the lightning struck.
And liver cancer —- and now suddenly
I’m starting to think that you’re bad luck.”

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 6 users Like Bucky Ball's post
03-11-2014, 01:22 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
A lawyer, a plumber and a hat maker were walking down the street. Who had the biggest hat?

The one with the biggest head.

I am not accountable to any God. I am accountable to myself - and not because I think I am God as some theists would try to assert - but because, no matter what actions I take, thoughts I think, or words I utter, I have to be able to live with myself.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Impulse's post
03-11-2014, 07:04 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
Did you hear about the explosion at the French cheese factory?

The only thing left was a big pile of de brie.

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like Can_of_Beans's post
03-11-2014, 07:52 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
The other day, my friend and I got on a bus. After we got seated, my friend found that he was in the seat reserved for handicapped people. He was pretty calm and then said to me, "I think being a douche in some sense also means being handicapped. Brain damage is an official disability, you know. " I really could use a hole on the ground at that moment.

Want something? Then do something.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
03-11-2014, 07:55 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
An shop assistant found a boy crying because he could find his mom.

"Why didn't you hold onto her dress ?" asked the shop assistant.

"Too short." answered the boy.

Want something? Then do something.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes HU.Junyuan's post
04-11-2014, 12:48 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
I know a joke about pizza, but it's cheesy.

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 6 users Like Dark Light's post
04-11-2014, 11:15 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
Why don't they play poker in the jungle?

Too many cheetahs.

I am not accountable to any God. I am accountable to myself - and not because I think I am God as some theists would try to assert - but because, no matter what actions I take, thoughts I think, or words I utter, I have to be able to live with myself.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Impulse's post
04-11-2014, 11:16 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?

It got stuck in a crack.

I am not accountable to any God. I am accountable to myself - and not because I think I am God as some theists would try to assert - but because, no matter what actions I take, thoughts I think, or words I utter, I have to be able to live with myself.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like Impulse's post
04-11-2014, 07:22 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was in tents.

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like Dark Light's post
04-11-2014, 07:30 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
(04-11-2014 07:22 PM)Dark Light Wrote:  Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was in tents.

In related news...

A man went to his therapist and said "you've got to help me. I have this recurring dream where sometimes I'm a teepee, sometimes I'm a wigwam, sometimes I'm a teepee, sometimes I'm a wigwam..."

The therapist replies "Well, I think I've identified the problem. You're two tents."

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Can_of_Beans's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: