Groan Worthy Jokes
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07-11-2014, 12:16 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
What is a zebra?


25 sizes larger than an "A" bra.

@DonaldTrump, Patriotism is not honoring your flag no matter what your country/leader does. It's doing whatever it takes to make your country the best it can be as long as its not violent.
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12-11-2014, 07:35 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
Little Ming, Out series

-----
One day teacher taught about story of the Arc
Littile Ming: So living beings outside the Arc were all drowned ?
Teacher: According to the story, yes.
Ming: Including fish in sea ?
Teacher: You, out !

-----
Ming: Teacher, how is the relationship going between you and your boyfriend ?
Teacher: Blown (up).
Ming: Wow, that's really some progress !
Teacher: Out !

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Teacher: Imagine you were in the realm of dinasaurs and one was going to eat you. What would you do ?
Ming: Stop imagining, of course.
Teacher: Out !

-----
Teacher: Do you know why we need to study geography ?
Ming: Because there's no heaven-ography.
Teacher: Out !

-----
Teacher: What's the crying sound of a cat ?
Ming: Mew.
Teacher: Good. How about dog ?
Ming: Bow.
Teacher: Excellent. How about horse ?
Ming: Ah, hum, ah ~~~~~~
Teacher: Out !

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12-11-2014, 08:03 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
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Ming: Teacher, I have a question.
Teacher: Out !
Ming: This math problem should be really easy for you.
Teacher: Out ! Now !
Ming: Woman teachers are really impatient these days ...
... he said so as he walked out of Ladies' Room.

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Teacher: You have 10 candies. I ate 5. How many do you have left ?
Ming: How many left ? How the hell dare you !
Teacher: Out !

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Teacher: Quiet ! Now, can anyboy mimic the crying sound of an animal ?
Ming: Quiet !
Teacher: Out !

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Teacher: Little Ming, out !
Ming: I didn't say nothing.
Teacher: No you didn't. But I am going to ask a question. So ... out !

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Teacher: Little Ming, I am really far from being satisfied with you. I am considering reporting your behavior to your father.
Ming: How is that coming ? Look, I am not satisfied with you either, yet I never considered telling your father anything.
Teacher: Out !

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Teacher: Please in fewest words describe an ugly person.
Ming: Somewhat like you.
Teacher: Out !

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Teacher: What's the English word that you find easiest to remember ?
Ming: Wifi
Teacher: Out !

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Teacher: If anyone has any injury, he or she doesn't have to participate in physical training.
Ming: I have an injury ! My umbilical cord is cut !
Teacher: Out ... no way ! 5 laps, now !

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Teacher: What would you do if you broke up with your girl ?
Ming: Well, then I will have to go back to my wife.
Teacher: Out !

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Teacher: You homework gets poorer and poorer. What's the problem ?
Ming: Can I answer it in tomorrow ?
Teacher: So now can you answer the question I asked yesterday ?
Ming: Granpa said because it got harder every year.
Teacher: Out !

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12-11-2014, 08:59 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits you windshield? It's butt.
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15-11-2014, 05:16 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
I stole some viagra the other day.


Does that mean that I am a hardened criminal?

What do you mean Life is short. It's the longest thing you're going to do.
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15-11-2014, 10:41 PM (This post was last modified: 15-11-2014 10:53 PM by HU.Junyuan.)
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
(15-11-2014 05:16 PM)stevec Wrote:  I stole some viagra the other day.

Does that mean that I am a hardened criminal?

No. Taking something without telling others is different from actually taking something.

Big Grin

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25-11-2014, 04:59 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
Did you hear that boomerangs are coming back?

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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25-11-2014, 05:04 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
(25-11-2014 04:59 AM)Can_of_Beans Wrote:  Did you hear that boomerangs are coming back?

This is almost as bad as the news that Silly Putty is making a rebound.

The people closely associated with the namesake of female canines are suffering from a nondescript form of lunacy.
"Anti-environmentalism is like standing in front of a forest and going 'quick kill them they're coming right for us!'" - Jake Farr-Wharton, The Imaginary Friend Show.
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25-11-2014, 05:06 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
(25-11-2014 05:04 AM)Free Thought Wrote:  
(25-11-2014 04:59 AM)Can_of_Beans Wrote:  Did you hear that boomerangs are coming back?

This is almost as bad as the news that Silly Putty is making a rebound.

In other news...

6 out of 7 dwarves are not Happy

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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25-11-2014, 05:11 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
(05-11-2014 11:42 PM)Dark Light Wrote:  
(05-11-2014 11:04 PM)f stop Wrote:  How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

Programmers don't change light bulbs. That's a hardware problem.

A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep. A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn’t.

A programmer's wife asks him to go to the store to buy a loaf of bread, and if they have eggs, to buy a dozen.

So he comes home with twelve loaves of bread.

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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