Groan Worthy Jokes
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 1 Votes - 5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
03-01-2015, 06:14 AM (This post was last modified: 03-01-2015 08:00 AM by The Polyglot Atheist.)
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A nervous wreck.

孤独 - The Out Crowd
Life is a flash of light between two eternities of darkness.
[Image: Schermata%202014-10-24%20alle%2012.39.01.png]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like The Polyglot Atheist's post
04-01-2015, 11:57 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
[Image: pb150104_zps0vkqk82a.jpg]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like pablo's post
04-01-2015, 12:10 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
(03-01-2015 06:14 AM)The Polyglot Atheist Wrote:  What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A nervous wreck.

Q: What do you call 50 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A: A start

Told to me by a lawyer friend, if that's not a contradiction in terms...

"I don't mind being wrong...it's a time I get to learn something new..."
Me.
N.B: I routinely make edits to posts to correct grammar or spelling, or to restate a point more clearly. I only notify edits if they materially change meaning.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like gofish!'s post
04-01-2015, 03:02 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
(04-01-2015 12:10 PM)gofish! Wrote:  
(03-01-2015 06:14 AM)The Polyglot Atheist Wrote:  What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A nervous wreck.

Q: What do you call 50 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A: A start

Told to me by a lawyer friend, if that's not a contradiction in terms...

That reminds me of one I heard many years ago...

"What do you call a creature which lives on the bottom and sucks blood to survive?"
"A lawyer"

The people closely associated with the namesake of female canines are suffering from a nondescript form of lunacy.
"Anti-environmentalism is like standing in front of a forest and going 'quick kill them they're coming right for us!'" - Jake Farr-Wharton, The Imaginary Friend Show.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Free Thought's post
04-01-2015, 03:07 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
What did Captain America say when returning from Ikea?

Avengers Assemble!

(31-07-2014 04:37 PM)Luminon Wrote:  America is full of guns, but they're useless, because nobody has the courage to shoot an IRS agent in self-defense
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like Revenant77x's post
04-01-2015, 03:18 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
(04-01-2015 03:02 PM)Free Thought Wrote:  
(04-01-2015 12:10 PM)gofish! Wrote:  Q: What do you call 50 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A: A start

Told to me by a lawyer friend, if that's not a contradiction in terms...

That reminds me of one I heard many years ago...

"What do you call a creature which lives on the bottom and sucks blood to survive?"
"A lawyer"

The same Lawyer told me this one....

Little Johnny and Little Jimmy are in the schoolyard, talking about their dads.

Johnny: My Dad's a Brain Surgeon! He saves people from brain tumors and all sorts of illnesses!

Jimmy: My Dad's a top lawyer!

Johnny: Honest?

Jimmy: No, a regular one.

"I don't mind being wrong...it's a time I get to learn something new..."
Me.
N.B: I routinely make edits to posts to correct grammar or spelling, or to restate a point more clearly. I only notify edits if they materially change meaning.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like gofish!'s post
04-01-2015, 03:23 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear!

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 5 users Like Can_of_Beans's post
20-01-2015, 01:15 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
What a day I had today... I was busier than a one armed pickpocket at a mosque during prayer!

[Image: 92802-004-860DE3FD_zpsprlvch6p.jpg]

Facepalm Big Grin
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes pablo's post
13-02-2015, 10:13 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
*for Girly

A programmer’s wife tells him, “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.”

The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.

Smartass

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Full Circle's post
14-02-2015, 01:58 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
I poured root beer into a square cup. Now it's just beer.

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like Can_of_Beans's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: