Groan Worthy Jokes
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14-02-2015, 02:21 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
(13-02-2015 10:13 PM)Full Circle Wrote:  *for Girly

A programmer’s wife tells him, “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.”

The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.

Smartass

I thought the joke would be that he picked up 11, counting the 0th egg.

If we came from dust, then why is there still dust?
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14-02-2015, 02:27 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
(14-02-2015 02:21 PM)cactus Wrote:  
(13-02-2015 10:13 PM)Full Circle Wrote:  *for Girly

A programmer’s wife tells him, “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.”

The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.

Smartass

I thought the joke would be that he picked up 11, counting the 0th egg.

Nah 12 loaves of bread is what you call a baker's dozen. There's 13 when counting the 0th Smartass

I hope that the world turns, and things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. - V for Vendetta
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14-02-2015, 11:59 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
(14-02-2015 02:21 PM)cactus Wrote:  
(13-02-2015 10:13 PM)Full Circle Wrote:  *for Girly

A programmer’s wife tells him, “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.”

The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.

Smartass

I thought the joke would be that he picked up 11, counting the 0th egg.

No, you see...programmers write code that is specific...never mind. Weeping

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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14-02-2015, 11:59 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
[Image: Funniest_Memes_how-does-moses-make-coffee_5273.jpeg]

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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19-02-2015, 03:37 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
An official at the Olympics approaches an athlete.

"Are you a pole vaulter?"

"Yes, but how do you know my name is Valter?"

What do you mean Life is short. It's the longest thing you're going to do.
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21-02-2015, 05:38 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
How does every Muslim joke start?

By looking over your shoulder

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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21-02-2015, 07:06 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
What is the difference between a teacher and a train?

A teacher says "spit out your gum!" but a train says "chew! chew!"

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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23-02-2015, 05:34 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
Do you know why the Amish girl was ex-communicated?

Two men a night.

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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28-02-2015, 12:17 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
[Image: qdg0atu.jpg]
I don't know why this made me giggle so, other than that it is just an awful joke. This is where it belongs Yes

I hope that the world turns, and things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. - V for Vendetta
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26-03-2015, 09:53 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
Sven texts his neighbor Olaf:

Olaf, I'm sorry. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess.
I have been helping myself to your wife when you're not around,
probably more than you. I know it's no excuse but I don't get it at home. I can't live with the guilt any longer. I hope you'll accept my
sincerest apology. It won't happen again.

Olaf, feeling outrage and betrayed, grabs his gun goes into the
bedroom and without a word shoots his wife.
Moments later Olaf gets a second text:
I really should use spell check! That should be "wifi"... Sorry!

'Murican Canadian
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