Groan Worthy Jokes
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07-10-2014, 05:56 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
Two nuns, Sister Catherine and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in their car.
They get to Transylvania just after sunset and are stopped at a traffic light.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little vampire jumps onto the hood of the car
and hisses at them through the windshield.

'Oh goodness!' shouts Sister Catherine. 'What shall we do?''
'Turn the windshield wipers on.
That will get rid of the abomination,' says Sister Helen.
Sister Catherine switches them on, knocking the vampire about,
but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.

What shall I do now?' she shouts.
'Switch on the windshield washer.
I filled it up with Holy Water at the Vatican ,' says Sister Helen.
Sister Catherine turns on the windshield washer. The vampire screams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.

'Now what?' shouts Sister Catherine. 'Show him your cross,' says Sister Helen. 'Now you're talking,' says Sister Catherine. She opens the window and shouts, 'Get the fuck off the car!'

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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07-10-2014, 06:19 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
Why do male dogs lick themselves?


Because they can't make a fist.
Tongue
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08-10-2014, 05:26 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
(04-10-2014 12:48 AM)Can_of_Beans Wrote:  Did you hear that the guy who invented the Hokey Pokey died last week?

Yeah...it's really sad. They said it took two hours to get him in the coffin because they put his right hand in, took his right hand out, put his left hand in, took his left hand out...

Too soon! Weeping

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08-10-2014, 06:33 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
(08-10-2014 05:26 AM)earmuffs Wrote:  
(04-10-2014 12:48 AM)Can_of_Beans Wrote:  Did you hear that the guy who invented the Hokey Pokey died last week?

Yeah...it's really sad. They said it took two hours to get him in the coffin because they put his right hand in, took his right hand out, put his left hand in, took his left hand out...

Too soon! Weeping

That's OK. I actually have no idea when or if the hokey pokey inventor died.

But I've been telling the joke for years, and every time it's "last week." Smile

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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08-10-2014, 02:09 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
How do you make a hormone?

Don't pay her. Rolleyes

Be true to yourself. Heart
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08-10-2014, 06:28 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
Where do boats go when they're sick?









The dock!!! Laugh out load

I hope that the world turns, and things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. - V for Vendetta
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09-10-2014, 11:39 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?

Ten tickles
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09-10-2014, 11:42 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
Why did the hipster burn his tongue?

He drank his coffee before it was cool.

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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09-10-2014, 08:45 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
(09-10-2014 08:41 PM)Chas Wrote:  
(09-10-2014 08:03 PM)Minimalist Wrote:  Yo,

[Image: a-clockwork-orange-475864l.jpg]

Great movie.

clockwork, orange you sorry you signed up?

Yeah, this is happening. Every time I catch one of these outside my thread, I'm putting it in my thread Laugh out load

I hope that the world turns, and things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. - V for Vendetta
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09-10-2014, 08:54 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
(09-10-2014 08:45 PM)Smercury44 Wrote:  
(09-10-2014 08:41 PM)Chas Wrote:  clockwork, orange you sorry you signed up?

Yeah, this is happening. Every time I catch one of these outside my thread, I'm putting it in my thread Laugh out load

The joke herder. Tongue
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