Groan Worthy Jokes
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02-06-2015, 04:17 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
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02-06-2015, 05:55 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
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04-06-2015, 10:23 AM
Re: Groan Worthy Jokes
   
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04-06-2015, 11:51 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
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"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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04-06-2015, 01:13 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
An Atheist, a Priest and A Rabbi fall upon a large bag of money.

The Priest says how about we draw a circle. "Throw the money in the air and God will decide whatever money lands in the circle goes to the Church, and the rest we keep.

The Rabbi said "I have a better idea. We throw the money in the air and God will decide whatever money land outside the circle goes the Synagogue, and the rest we keep."

Finally the Atheist "Says I've got a even better idea. How about we throw the money in the air and whatever money "God" wants the church to have, he can keep."

_______________________________________________________________

This one day Tommy is sitting in class. When he gets a tap on his shoulder.

"Pst, pass this note to Susie." Tommy takes the note and being a little curious opens it up to see the word Fluffernutter

"Tommy!" shouts the teacher "What is that you have in your hand?"

"It's just a note; Miss." Tommy replied

"And what dose it say?" The Teacher asked

"Fluffernutter."

The whole class takes a huge gasp. Some even begin to cry.

"Tommy how dare you say that in my class room! Go to the Principles at once!" The teacher exclaimed

Tommy is sitting in the principles office. And the Principle asks him "Why are you her Tommy. Your normally so well behaved."

"I was just sitting in class when i got a note, then my teacher told me to read the note out load. and that's why I got sent here."

"I'm sure it's not that bad. What did the note say?" Said the Principle very calmly

"Fluffernutter." Said Tommy

"JESUS H. CHRIST! I'm calling you parents. You're going to be expelled from school at once!" The principle shouted in horror as he grabbed the phone.

Tommy is sitting in his room when his father comes in. "Hey Buddy. What happened at school today?"

"I was just sitting in class when I got a note, then my teacher told me to read the note out load. That's when i was sent to the principle that then wanted me to repeat the note. When he did he expelled me and sent my home."

"Well that's out ragouse what could the possable that note have said that would have gotten you expelled?"

"Fluffernutter." Tommy said.

"OH I have failed as a father! Your no son of mine! I sending you to military school. May god have mercy on your soul." Tommy's father belted at the top of his lung and red in the faced.

Tommy is standing in line at a Military School when a his Drill sargent comes in moves down the line shouting out orders to each of the students.
"Why are you here MAGOT?!" He exclamed

"I was just sitting in class when I got a note, then my teacher told me to read the note out load. That's when i was sent to the principle that then wanted me to repeat the note. When he did he expelled me and sent me home. Where my father wanted to know what the note said. Then sent me to this school." Tommy explained

"What did it say? MAGGOT?" The drill sargent demanded

"Fluffernutter."Tommy said

The Drill Sargent blushed and couldn't find any words. "I will not have a person like you in my regament. Your going to be sent to the Freanch Foreign Legion where you will spend the rest of your days cleaning camel anus with your tongue."

When Tommy got off the plane he was approach by a gypsy. "I see a darkness around your soul. If you seek answers to your question meet me at this address at midnight tonight."

The night came and Tommy had snuk out of his camp to meet up with this woman. Did she have the answers to why Fluffernutter was such a evil word. Was it cursed.

That's when he say he standing under a street lamp. He hurried across the road to meet her.

When he was suddenly hit by a truck.

Morel of the story. Look both ways before crossing the street.

Don't Live each day like it's your last. Live each day like you have 541 days after that one where every choice you make will have lasting implications to you and the world around you. ~ Tim Minchin
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04-06-2015, 02:07 PM
Re: Groan Worthy Jokes
^ that. Yes. Lol!
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04-06-2015, 03:58 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
Fact: You can't run in a campground. You can only ran because it's past tents.

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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05-06-2015, 01:18 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
21 Groaners
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05-06-2015, 05:27 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
It loses a lot in translation...

- What will you be at 40?

- I´ll beat my wife

. . . ................................ ......................................... . [Image: 2dsmnow.gif] Eat at Joe's
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05-06-2015, 05:23 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
Sepp Blatter has gone on record as saying,

'White or brown, colour doesn't matter ... it's the contents of the envelope that counts.'

"I love the term magic realism. It's about expanding how you see the world. I think we live in an age where we're just hammered to think this is what the world is. Everything's saying 'That's the world.' And it's not the world. The world is a million possible things." - TG

Salman Rushdie talks to Terry Gilliam
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