Groan Worthy Jokes
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11-10-2015, 04:08 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
Why did the chimpanzee put a steak on its head?


Because it thought it was a griller.

What do you mean Life is short. It's the longest thing you're going to do.
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11-10-2015, 04:14 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
(11-10-2015 04:08 AM)stevec Wrote:  Why did the chimpanzee put a steak on its head?


Because it thought it was a griller.

I didn't get that joke until I looked at you're profile and saw "UK."

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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12-10-2015, 02:45 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
As long as you groaned eventually.

What do you mean Life is short. It's the longest thing you're going to do.
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12-10-2015, 03:12 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
(23-09-2015 03:22 PM)onlinebiker Wrote:  A sloop has sails, not a Evinrude outboard...

That's why it's a condensed sloop.

Big Grin
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14-10-2015, 06:10 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
I was going to put this on intros, but thought better of it and put it here...

But -- this one is sorta in response to Suzykw 's post.....


A girl who had recently become an atheist decided to sit her Southern Baptist parents down, and break the news to them - but wasn't quite sure what to say - then inspiration struck.


"Mom, Dad -- I've got some news for you. I've decided to join the Catholic Church."....

"Oh my God" shouted her mother --"How can you do this to us??? I'd rather you became an atheist!!!!'



"OK Mom -- I've got some good news for ya................."

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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02-11-2015, 03:32 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal?

He wanted to transcend dental medication.

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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03-11-2015, 03:28 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
For his birthday, little Joe asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, 'Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 & your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it.'

The next day the father saw little Joe heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, 'Son, where are you going?'

Little Joe told him; 'I was walking past your room last night and heard you yelling to Mom that you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too.

And I’ll be damned if I’m staying here by myself with a $280,000 mortgage & no bike!

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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10-11-2015, 09:57 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
Why did the cows return to the marijuana field?

It was the pot was calling the cattle back.

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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12-11-2015, 03:38 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
What do you get when you cross an atheist with a Jehovahs Witness?

Somebody who knocks on your door for no reason whatsoever.

"Newton's third law: The only way humans have ever figured out of getting somewhere is to leave something behind." - TARS, Interstellar
"Newtons drittes Gesetz: Der einzige Weg wie Menschen irgendwo hin kommen, ist der dass sie etwas zurücklassen." - TARS, Interstellar
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12-11-2015, 04:33 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
(12-11-2015 03:38 PM)therealJim Wrote:  What do you get when you cross an atheist with a Jehovahs Witness?

Somebody who knocks on your door for no reason whatsoever.

What do you get when you cross an atheist and a German with a Jehovahs Witness?

Somebody who is very efficient at knocking on your door for no reason whatsoever.

"Newton's third law: The only way humans have ever figured out of getting somewhere is to leave something behind." - TARS, Interstellar
"Newtons drittes Gesetz: Der einzige Weg wie Menschen irgendwo hin kommen, ist der dass sie etwas zurücklassen." - TARS, Interstellar
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