Groan Worthy Jokes
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 1 Votes - 5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
03-12-2015, 03:51 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
(18-04-2015 06:46 AM)mecanna Wrote:  A couple of the boy's favorites :

Q: Why does a pirate wear camouflaged underwear?

A: To hide his booty


Q: Which side of a cheetah has the most spots?

A: The outside

A kid gets a pirate costume for Christmas and walks into the ice cream shop and tells the girl working there that he is a pirate. So where are your buccaneers? She asks, Under my bucking hat. he says.
Next day he walks in with his new cowboy outfit and aims his toy gun at her and demands a free Banana split. You want whipped cream on that? Yes damn right he says. You want crushed nuts? she asks next. You want your tits shot off? he responds!
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes DerFish's post
03-12-2015, 03:58 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
(04-07-2015 04:35 PM)Smercury44 Wrote:  What did 0 say to 8?

Nice belt, fuck face

Why is six afraid of 7? Because seven eight nine!
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes DerFish's post
03-12-2015, 04:32 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
(03-10-2014 10:53 PM)Chas Wrote:  So, one penguin say to another "You look like you're wearing a tuxedo."

The second penguin responds, "What makes you think I'm not?"

Guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender "How tall is a penguin?"
"Oh about 3 ft or so"
"Damn" Our guy says and orders a drink.
An Englishman walks into the bar and our guy calls him over and asks "How tall is a penguin?" "About a meter tall at the most" the UK guy says.
"Damn" He turns to a babe sitting there and asks her "Hey babe, how tall is a penguin?"
"Maybe a yard tall more or less." she answers.
"Damn must have been a nun I ran over then, Damn!"
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like DerFish's post
03-12-2015, 04:36 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
(08-10-2014 02:09 PM)Deidre32 Wrote:  How do you make a hormone?

Don't pay her. Rolleyes

What's the difference between a hormone and a vitamin?


If you can make a whore moan you don't need vitamins!
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
03-12-2015, 04:41 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
(17-10-2014 06:24 AM)unfogged Wrote:  What do you call a guy with no arms or legs lying in a pile of leaves?

Russell

What do you call a woman with one leg?

Eileen

What do you call a Japanese woman with one leg?

Irene

Where does the one legged waitress work? Down at I HOP
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes DerFish's post
03-12-2015, 04:44 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
(17-10-2014 09:26 PM)pablo Wrote:  How many South Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A Brazilian


Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

He worked his problem out with a pencil.






It was a No. 2 pencil.

A girl tells the blonde sitting mext to her. "I made love to a Brazilian."
"How many million is that?" the blonde asked
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like DerFish's post
03-12-2015, 04:53 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
(24-10-2014 11:29 AM)RobbyPants Wrote:  
(24-10-2014 06:32 AM)Can_of_Beans Wrote:  How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?

It's a really obscure number. You probably haven't heard of it.

They were screwing in light bulbs before it was cool.

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but how did they get in the light bulb?
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes DerFish's post
03-12-2015, 04:58 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
(29-10-2014 09:02 AM)Revenant77x Wrote:  
[Image: 6ae8bb4b1fe02e4e4b7cef7b17213a.jpg]

What kind of bees give milk? Boobies of course!
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes DerFish's post
03-12-2015, 05:01 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
A scuba diver decides she wants to buy a a car, ends up at the dealership and the dealer asks her "What kind of car do you want"

She responds "Anything but a Mercedes"

Dealer responds " Why don't you want a Mercedes?"

She responds, "I don't want the Benz"

Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like Brian37's post
04-12-2015, 02:57 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
(03-12-2015 04:32 PM)DerFish Wrote:  
(03-10-2014 10:53 PM)Chas Wrote:  So, one penguin say to another "You look like you're wearing a tuxedo."

The second penguin responds, "What makes you think I'm not?"

Guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender "How tall is a penguin?"
"Oh about 3 ft or so"
"Damn" Our guy says and orders a drink.
An Englishman walks into the bar and our guy calls him over and asks "How tall is a penguin?" "About a meter tall at the most" the UK guy says.
"Damn" He turns to a babe sitting there and asks her "Hey babe, how tall is a penguin?"
"Maybe a yard tall more or less." she answers.
"Damn must have been a nun I ran over then, Damn!"


Two drunk Irishmen are sitting at the bar when Father McGyver walks in and sits down.

The first drunk says - "Father McGyver - are there any leprechaun nuns in Ireland?"

The father shakes his head and said "No, if there were, I'm sure I'd have heard of it".

The first drunk turns to the second drunk and says -

"See? I told you that you fucked a penguin"....

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes onlinebiker's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: