Groan Worthy Jokes
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 1 Votes - 5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
04-12-2015, 08:40 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
(03-12-2015 03:28 PM)DerFish Wrote:  A termite wanks into a bar

╭( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)╮
/\(██)/\
/\(██)/\
/\(██)/\
----(█)
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Dex's post
04-12-2015, 10:19 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
What did the paleontologist say to their assistant?

I've got a bone to pick with you!

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Can_of_Beans's post
04-12-2015, 06:31 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
Two potatoes are standing on a street corner. How can you tell which one is the prostitute?

It has a sticker that says "Idaho."

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like Can_of_Beans's post
06-12-2015, 05:22 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
What would you sing at a snowmans birthday party?

"Freeze a jolly good fellow."

What do you mean Life is short. It's the longest thing you're going to do.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like stevec's post
07-12-2015, 03:55 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
This guy goes into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast. After looking over the menu he says, "I'll just have the eggs Benedict." His order comes a while later and it's served on a big, shiny hubcap. He asks the waiter, "What's with the hubcap?" The waiter says, "Well, there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise."

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like Can_of_Beans's post
07-12-2015, 04:14 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m. One afternoon, as the end of the workday approached, the bartender was dismayed to find he was out of hazelnut extract. Thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar. The doctor came in at his regular time, took one sip of the drink and exclaimed, "This isn't a hazelnut daiquiri!" "No, I'm sorry," replied the bartender, "it's a hickory daiquiri, doc."

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like Can_of_Beans's post
09-12-2015, 08:26 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
[Image: 2564635083-dc9f3a881be681ae93ce4502af11afa9.jpg]

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like Full Circle's post
10-12-2015, 03:13 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
A nurse walks into a bank exhausted after an 18 hour shift. She grabs a deposit slip and pulls a rectal thermometer our of her purse and tries to write with it. When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted teller and says "Well...that's just great...some asshole's got my pen."

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 5 users Like Can_of_Beans's post
13-12-2015, 03:15 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
What happened to Santa when he went speed dating?


He pulled a cracker.

What do you mean Life is short. It's the longest thing you're going to do.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
13-12-2015, 03:24 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
(10-12-2015 03:13 PM)Can_of_Beans Wrote:  A nurse walks into a bank exhausted after an 18 hour shift. She grabs a deposit slip and pulls a rectal thermometer our of her purse and tries to write with it. When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted teller and says "Well...that's just great...some asshole's got my pen."

LOVE THIS!!!!!

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like Nurse's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: