Groan Worthy Jokes
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16-10-2014, 11:25 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
A parasite walks into a bar, the bartender says 'We don't serve parasites here'.
The parasite replies 'Well, you're not a very good host.'

Two men walk into a bar; the first man says to the bartender 'I'll have some H2O'.
The second man says 'I'll have some H2O too.'

The second man died.

The people closely associated with the namesake of female canines are suffering from a nondescript form of lunacy.
"Anti-environmentalism is like standing in front of a forest and going 'quick kill them they're coming right for us!'" - Jake Farr-Wharton, The Imaginary Friend Show.
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17-10-2014, 12:46 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean?

Boy

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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17-10-2014, 06:24 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
What do you call a guy with no arms or legs lying in a pile of leaves?

Russell

What do you call a woman with one leg?

Eileen

What do you call a Japanese woman with one leg?

Irene

Atheism: it's not just for communists any more!
America July 4 1776 - November 8 2016 RIP
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17-10-2014, 06:58 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
(16-10-2014 04:42 PM)Can_of_Beans Wrote:  Q. What do people in Guinea eat for breakfast?

A. Ebola cornflakes

Just in case this joke depends on regional speech patterns...

E-bol-a = "A bowl of" if your lazy and drop the final "f" which people in my neck of the woods typically do when they're speaking casually.

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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17-10-2014, 07:02 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
A piece of twine walks into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve strings in here." So the twine leaves, ties himself into a bow and walks back in. The bartender says "Hey! aren't you that same piece of string I threw out earlier?"

The twine replies "I'm afraid not!"

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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17-10-2014, 03:38 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
Why did Susie's coffee taste like mud?
Because it was fresh ground.

"I don't have to have faith, I have experience." Joseph Campbell
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17-10-2014, 06:23 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
What does corn say when it's frustrated?
Aw Shucks

"I don't have to have faith, I have experience." Joseph Campbell
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17-10-2014, 09:26 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
How many South Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A Brazilian


Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

He worked his problem out with a pencil.






It was a No. 2 pencil.
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18-10-2014, 12:01 AM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
Do you know the difference between a cult and a religion? In a cult there is one guy at the top who knows that it is all bullshit. In a religion that guy is dead.
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20-10-2014, 08:56 PM
RE: Groan Worthy Jokes
How does snot dance? It boogies. Banana_zorro


How does the solar system make a party? They planet.
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