Grocery Shopping 101: A life guide by Muffs
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13-09-2014, 12:12 PM
RE: Grocery Shopping 101: A life guide by Muffs
(13-09-2014 11:44 AM)Chas Wrote:  
(13-09-2014 11:28 AM)cjlr Wrote:  Somehow I doubt they serve northern Ontario.

Yabut, do you even have supermarkets?

Don't you just go to the Hudson Bay Company's trading post and swap pelts for goods? Consider




(31-07-2014 04:37 PM)Luminon Wrote:  America is full of guns, but they're useless, because nobody has the courage to shoot an IRS agent in self-defense
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13-09-2014, 01:00 PM
RE: Grocery Shopping 101: A life guide by Muffs
(13-09-2014 11:28 AM)cjlr Wrote:  
(13-09-2014 10:34 AM)WitchSabrina Wrote:  Google shopping. First 6 months is free. Google shopping express its called.
Free home delivery. https://www.google.com/shopping/express/...index.html
H
They go to several main stores & grocery stores.

Somehow I doubt they serve northern Ontario.

But you get like helicopter drops and shit right?
Lol

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13-09-2014, 01:12 PM
RE: Grocery Shopping 101: A life guide by Muffs
Stopped reading at "A life guide by a Muffs."

Tongue

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13-09-2014, 01:40 PM
RE: Grocery Shopping 101: A life guide by Muffs
Damn, Muffs, I expected something useful. Such as where do I get some old discount food BEFORE they throw it out into a trash can. That would be nice to know Consider
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13-09-2014, 01:57 PM
RE: Grocery Shopping 101: A life guide by Muffs
(13-09-2014 01:40 PM)Luminon Wrote:  Damn, Muffs, I expected something useful. Such as where do I get some old discount food BEFORE they throw it out into a trash can. That would be nice to know Consider

If that is what you want, you approach the manager and tell him you have pigs and want to pick up all the discards. Then you will be stuck with a lot of stuff you have to pick up regularly and on time - but it's free.

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13-09-2014, 03:35 PM
RE: Grocery Shopping 101: A life guide by Muffs
(13-09-2014 10:34 AM)WitchSabrina Wrote:  
(13-09-2014 01:19 AM)DLJ Wrote:  Or better still, get them to do it for free.

Done. Next?

Google shopping. First 6 months is free. Google shopping express its called.
Free home delivery. https://www.google.com/shopping/express/...index.html

They go to several main stores & grocery stores.

....

I would kinda like to use that service for the purpose of having only small numbers of small, superfluous foods being sent to me.
"Yes, Google, I would like you to obtain for me one Areo bar.'

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13-09-2014, 04:35 PM
RE: Grocery Shopping 101: A life guide by Muffs
[Image: 87b14d7b98adf0f3d638fac07fb165.jpg]

(31-07-2014 04:37 PM)Luminon Wrote:  America is full of guns, but they're useless, because nobody has the courage to shoot an IRS agent in self-defense
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13-09-2014, 04:47 PM (This post was last modified: 13-09-2014 04:51 PM by Lienda Bella.)
RE: Grocery Shopping 101: A life guide by Muffs
Cracking the window doesn't do a bit of good. 90+ heat? Try it out for yourself for three hours and see how comfy that is.
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13-09-2014, 04:54 PM
RE: Grocery Shopping 101: A life guide by Muffs
(12-09-2014 10:26 PM)earmuffs Wrote:  
Grocery Shopping 101

Introduction statement

Grocery shopping is a vital skill that we all must partake in, often on a regular basis, throughout our lives. It is important that we as individuals understand how to properly execute this task. A recent study has shown that 98% of all people on the planet have absolutely no fucking clue as to how to properly shop for groceries. As such I thought I would take it upon myself, a professional grocery shopper, to crusade against bad grocery shopping habits and educate the masses in the art of grocery shopping.

Step 1: Parking

- The most critical factor to remember when parking at the grocery store is to follow the arrows. If they say go left, go left. If they say go forward, go forward. Follow the arrow.

- If you're old, catch the bus, don't drive.

- Don't park in the disabled parks if you're not disabled.

- Don't park in the baby car parks if you don't have a baby.

- Don't park in the motorbike parks if you're not a motorbike, you too cyclists.

- Don't stop and hold up traffic to let someone go. If you have the right of way, fucking go!! Don't try to be polite, you just confuse everyone and hold everyone up.

- Park in your own individual park, don't take up two parks. If you can't park, stay the fuck at home.

Step 2: Selecting a trolley

note: Its trolley not cart. Only retards call it a cart.

- Select a trolley that's in the trolley holder things in the parking lot. That way there's not a thousand people trying to get a trolley at the door.

- If you need only a few things grab a fucking basket.

- Be careful of people behind you when you have your trolly, don't swing it around and bash everyone in a 2m radius around you.

- Don't stop in the fucking doorway to talk.

Step 3: Shopping

- DON'T BRING YOUR FUCKING KIDS TO THE GROCERY STORE!! LEAVE THEM IN THE FUCKING CAR!! Just crack a window open a bit on hot days, no need to be cruel.

- If it's too late and your kids are in the store, put them in the fucking trolley, don't let them run around out of control like a dog with rabies. Kids have no fucking awareness radar and don't look where they're running. They're little retarded freaks and I don't want the running up to me trying to talk to me and no I don't find it fucking cute when they do that.

- BE AWARE OF OTHER PEOPLE AROUND YOU! If someone is behind you and you're stopping to browse, let them through.

- Shop on the side of the aisle, not the middle. This allows people to get past you.

- Walk in a straight fucking line, not diagonally across the aisle. You've been walking for most of your life, you should know how to do it by now.

- Walk faster. Just walk faster.

- If you meet someone you know, make a quick arrangement for a lunch date or something. This is the grocery store, not 5th period math. We're here to shop, not gossip.

- Get the fuck out of my god damn way.

Step 4: Paying

- If you're finished putting your stuff on the checkout, grab that little barrier thing so the next person can put their shit on.

- Don't use the self checkout if you have a trolley.

- Don't use the self checkout if you're old.

- Don't use the self checkout if you've never used it before.

- Don't use the self checkout if you have a thousand fucking items.

- Don't use the 12 items or less if you have more then 12 items.

- If you have a thousand items and I have one or two, let me go first.

- Don't stop and stare at the stuff on sale at the counter for 5minutes while the lady waits for you to get our your card to pay, if you're still shopping by the time it's time to pay then you're doing it wrong!

- Don't buy cigarettes

- Don't buy alcohol with no ID when you clearly don't look older then 26, of course they're not gonna sell it to you you fucktard.

Conclusion

If we can all follow these easy to do instructions, maybe grocery shopping will be a far more enjoyable experience for all!
Stay tuned for my next 'life guide' edition, Driving 101, where I teach you how to not be a fucking cunt.


LOL.

TROLLEY=

[Image: trolley.jpg]






CART=

[Image: shopping-cart-clip-art-vector.jpg]

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He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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13-09-2014, 07:20 PM (This post was last modified: 13-09-2014 07:24 PM by Chas.)
RE: Grocery Shopping 101: A life guide by Muffs
(13-09-2014 04:47 PM)Lienda Bella Wrote:  Cracking the window doesn't do a bit of good. 90+ heat? Try it out for yourself for three hours and see how comfy that is.

never mind.

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Science is not a subject, but a method.
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