Growing doubts about the possibility of a future.
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06-07-2011, 01:15 PM
Growing doubts about the possibility of a future.
I know I shouldn't come here just to vent, but I figure I need to let out some steam without the restrictions that family has.
Its been about 2 years now that I've been "trying" to get into the army reserves... I say "trying" because looking back, if it were anyone else putting in such a small amount of effort, with such a high failure rate. You'd say they were pathetic.

So to start off I took the aptitude test, I did superb on the English and spatial awareness portions, but unfortunately problem solving(math) is a much larger portion, so it didn't matter that I aced the other 2 parts because with as low a math score as I got I only qualified for the role of Supply Technician. Which is a fancy name for a person who stacks shelves.

Then came medical, all's well, the corporal giving me the examination made a few notes about specialized gear(insoles for flat feet, military grade glasses, small size clothes etc etc.) but that's beside the point.

Then came the physical Big Grin oh joy Big Grin... it went downhill right after the sit ups. Push ups, I almost got but I was so nervous my palms got sweaty and I fell, they wouldn't let me retry so I got stuck with 17/20. My grip strength was far below everybody else's at the test so I failed that too. My final score being a 5(the required test score is 6)
and that was almost a year ago, since then my health has gone down hill, I haven't been outside or touched my weights at all this summer. I've been "trying" off and on for 2 years now to get in shape, I've been told not to rush it and that it will happen soon. I don't expect overnight results but I do expect a change after months and months.
It discourages me so much, I'm disgusted to look in the mirror at this pale, stick figure body. The fact that I don't meet a standard that others pass easily is revolting and shameful to me.

Just... tell me what you think, I guess.

Hey brother christian, with your high and mighty errand, your actions speak so loud, I can't hear a word you're saying.

"This machine kills fascists..."

"Well this machine kills commies!"
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06-07-2011, 01:58 PM
RE: Growing doubts about the possibility of a future.
(06-07-2011 01:15 PM)UnderTheMicroscope Wrote:  It discourages me so much, I'm disgusted to look in the mirror at this pale, stick figure body. The fact that I don't meet a standard that others pass easily is revolting and shameful to me.

Just... tell me what you think, I guess.

This is me.

[Image: n1470597089_30156863_2247618.jpg]

I am 6'3" and weight one hundred and twenty pounds. I have asthma and 20/155 vision in my good eye (as of my last visit to the optometrist), with astigmatism and partial colorblindness. I also have asthma and severe calcium deficiency. I can't even lift the smallest weights available comfortably.

No matter how crappy your physical condition is, I'm fairly sure you're better off than I am.

Just because you can't get into the reserves doesn't mean that your body is disgusting. It just means you don't have the necessary physical strength. That's not exactly a reason to hate yourself.

In addition, at the start of your post, you mentioned that you had put in little effort. From your description of it, it seems you came close to succeeding anyway. Maybe next time, you can do a little working out, and you'll be able to pass easily.

"Owl," said Rabbit shortly, "you and I have brains. The others have fluff. If there is any thinking to be done in this Forest - and when I say thinking I mean thinking - you and I must do it."
- A. A. Milne, The House at Pooh Corner
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06-07-2011, 03:04 PM
RE: Growing doubts about the possibility of a future.
There are plenty of online resources to help you with the math dilemma.

Tree climbing will build the upper body and grip, so will rope climbing, if you have a tree to hang it from. A set of weights and a bicycle would do the rest. Remember the "No pain, No Gain" rule. Swimming is also good for building stamina, but you need a place that isn't full of screaming kids, if you want to exercise. you need to be able to swim long distances without stopping, or at least laps.

Many days of summers back then, I rode over 100 miles in a day, often before breakfast. (4:30 am - 11:00 am) I did this for exercise, and mind clearing in the morning hours.

I had legs of steel from it when I went into the Navy. My "Popeye arms" came from all the climbing I done. ( I cut trees, mostly by hand (bow saw), for firewood to sell) I never had any problem with the physical end of boot camp.

The reason I'm saying this is because back then I didn't weigh 110 lbs dripping wet, with a wet towel on. Skinny didn't have to mean weak. And it doesn't have to for you either.

I just recently got a weight set and fixed an old bike up to ride. I've lost 30 lbs in just over a month. I was 100 lbs over weight for 5'8" @ 50 yrs old. If I can do this at 50, you can surely do it. You just have to have the dedication to do it. Don't give up!Wink
Just believe in yourself!

Oxymoron: "Religious teaching"
"Simple common sense goes out the window when religion comes in through the door." Me (Blasphemy Fan )
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06-07-2011, 03:56 PM
RE: Growing doubts about the possibility of a future.
I'm trying hard, but sometimes I think its not enough.
I've never been athletic(pretty hard to get onto a team when all the other kids threaten you).
I can sympathize with you unbeliever. Although I am not a severe case I have an iron deficiency, and very poor vision. The reason I hate looking in the mirror is because I've seen other people surpass me, with less effort.
Thanks BF, I come from a family of blue-collar workers all with stories of how they had to work all their lives for almost nothing, but gained health and experience that was priceless. The end result sounds good, and I want to work, its just difficult getting there.

Hey brother christian, with your high and mighty errand, your actions speak so loud, I can't hear a word you're saying.

"This machine kills fascists..."

"Well this machine kills commies!"
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06-07-2011, 04:44 PM
 
RE: Growing doubts about the possibility of a future.
Maybe I missed it, but why are the reserves the only future being considered?
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06-07-2011, 06:00 PM
RE: Growing doubts about the possibility of a future.
(06-07-2011 03:56 PM)UnderTheMicroscope Wrote:  I can sympathize with you unbeliever. Although I am not a severe case I have an iron deficiency, and very poor vision.

You missed my point. I'm not asking for sympathy, or telling you that you have a reason to be depressed. I'm telling you that it's perfectly possible to be happy with a body like that. You just need to stop investing all your hopes in a single thing that is extremely difficult for you to do.

If you absolutely positively must be in the Reserves to be happy, then realize that it's going to take much more work for you to succeed in that than other people. There's nothing you can do about that, so you need to start working towards acceptance now. Then set yourself to a workout regimen designed to let you pass next time. It's not going to be easy, but you don't have to be depressed just because your body isn't exactly like you'd want it to be, or because you failed this time. You're working with a handicap. That isn't a reason to fall into depression.

If it's possible for you to be happy some other way, do that. You're a smart guy. I know. I've seen your posts on the forums here. You can do stuff.

Quote:The reason I hate looking in the mirror is because I've seen other people surpass me, with less effort.

So surpass them, with more effort. Then rub their faces in it.

"Owl," said Rabbit shortly, "you and I have brains. The others have fluff. If there is any thinking to be done in this Forest - and when I say thinking I mean thinking - you and I must do it."
- A. A. Milne, The House at Pooh Corner
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06-07-2011, 06:05 PM
RE: Growing doubts about the possibility of a future.
I think you're making too big a deal out of this. You can easily make the reserves if you actually want to. But judging from your motivation level, I'm not sure you actually want this. You just BARELY missed qualifying. All you need is a math spruce up and 3-4 solid weeks of hitting the gym and I guarantee you'd pass. 17 out of 20 pushups? When I started basic, there were guys that could only do pushups from their knees. I'm a computer-loving, acne-having 28 year old nerd with 220/20 vision and 2 knee surgeries and I still got into a combat MOS.

Seriously, find a fitness oriented gym that isn't full of "how much you bench?" guys and go for 4 solid weeks, and eat a lot more protein. You'll easily pass the physical. And there are plenty of math classes online (I passed my Integral Calc class in college from literally only learning from karlscalculus .org). You can even approach it from a nerd method. If I'm feeling lazy and don't want to hit the gym, I do 20-30 pushups during loading screens of video games. I played Black Ops for 10 hours and could barely move my arms after a while.

If you actually want this, it's still easily within reach.

"Ain't got no last words to say, yellow streak right up my spine. The gun in my mouth was real and the taste blew my mind."

"We see you cry. We turn your head. Then we slap your face. We see you try. We see you fail. Some things never change."
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06-07-2011, 06:07 PM
RE: Growing doubts about the possibility of a future.
(06-07-2011 01:15 PM)UnderTheMicroscope Wrote:  Its been about 2 years now that I've been "trying" to get into the army reserves... Just... tell me what you think, I guess.

Talk to a Navy recruiter instead.

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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06-07-2011, 06:21 PM
RE: Growing doubts about the possibility of a future.
I've been a construstion worker for 15 years, then about 5 years ago turned farmer. I've always worked very physically demanding jobs, for long hours, often in brutal heat. I can do with a hand hoe what most "farmers" wouldn't even consider doing without a tractor.

I do these things to this very day, and I suffer from severe rheumatoid arthritis. Mostly in my hands and shoulders. I've dislocated my finger by tying my shoe. Often my shoulders are so bad that I can't lift them high enough to scratch the top of my head.

So what's my point?

I learned to make my body work for me. You can too. I taught myself how to hold things without gripping with my fingers past the first joint. I figured out how to shovel by isolating 90% of the motion in my elbows insetead of my shoulders. There's all kinds of things that I "shouldn't be able to do", but I do them anyways, and often better than the average Joe. I accept my disability, but I refuse to be limited by it. You can do the same. Just find your streingths, then use your intelligence to figure out how to make them work for you. Getting discouraged will slow you down. Accept what limitations you have, then blow past them with innovation, and a desire to find a better way.

I don't mean for any of this to sound like bragging, nor do I want sympathy for anything. (That's why I don't usually talk about it) I just want you to see that the only limitations are the ones you put on yourself.

So many cats, so few good recipes.
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06-07-2011, 07:19 PM
RE: Growing doubts about the possibility of a future.
I also attempted to get into the army, regular not reserves, just last year and couldn't get in. It was an annoying mix of reasons, such as I had a very hard time getting my school information due to my school having been closed for a long time and no one knowing where my paperwork was. Also it had to do with my knees. I need surgery on at the very least my left one. Otherwise I passed the tests. Little back history on me, I fear little, but I have a thing about surgery :O and things going near my eyes, yuck.
It was really my fault in the end for not getting the surgery done.
All you need to think about is how badly you want it, and if it's worth what it is going to take. For me the reward wouldn't have been enough as I was only looking into the army because of the lack of jobs overall, so there was little passion in it. If you want it, then just do it. Do it. C'mon do it. Run, and run some more, thats the hardest part I found. The running. So much running. Do some pullups every day, more than once a day. All day. Push ups too. All day. The physical seems tough, until you can do it, then it seems like everyone should be capable. It will become easy and routine. But you must be consistent. If you falter due to laziness or lack of motivation, then it will be harder the next time.
For the math part, I also totally blow at math. I barely got past that part. I hate math. It's truly awful. Listen to what someone who is good at math says. They probably know what they are talking about.
But basically you either want to do it or you don't. It's important to find out now, instead of you know after the contract is signed. You usually get shot at, at some point after joining the military. Pretty big deal. Do you want it ... really?

"I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments." -Jim Morrison
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