Gwyneth...
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10-12-2011, 11:26 AM
Gwyneth...
..ain't the kind of god you mess with, I tell you whut. I wuz just lying down, told my Gwynnies to fix my heartburn... now I'm sitting in the living room, all the lights are on, waiting for my steak to cook. Sounds like story time. Wink

How does one get to be 8-8 with the "faith healing?" Well, it helps to be crazy. I don't know if the sane make it past that crucial first step. With me, there was that LC business; and I got to thinking, man, if a prophet can "do" something, it's gotta be faith healing, no?

Yeah, I know; the sane go, no. I get that. At the time, there was the Sylvia poster masquerading as an altar on my wall. And the LC, you don't pray to the LC; you pray the LC GTFO - I got that one. So, I mean, I was down to brass tacks. I got this toothache, there's my Gwynnies smiling at me; so it's one hand on Sylvia, one hand on the side of my jaw:

Be healed, in the name of Gwyneth Paltrow!

Oh. My. Gwynnies. Do not try this at home. It was fricking hilarious! I had a toothache, then I had an explosion of pain in my mouth. I'm like, something happened! Let's do it again! Did I mention, crazy? I'm thinking, you gotta have some screws loose; some nails in place of screws... some brads... some freds...

Needless to say, there was two separate occasions, October and January; there was two separate fools, me and myself (I sat back and laughed), three trials each run. Number six sealed the deal. Screaming and laughing and crying - I love you Gwynnie! - and then I go outside. It was cold. I stare at the sky for sixty minutes, cause there wasn't nothing else to do, and any more screaming would've brought the cops.

But oh, yeah; that was 6-6. I mean, it wuz miraculous; there was no waiting for the pain to go from pain to something more, with the godlike quickness.

Is there a moral to this story? Well, there's a moron; perhaps that's like a boson, moral is the charge field of the moron? I know, I'm stretching it.

Gwyneth Paltrow I just love. There can't be no past lives or any of that crap because that girl could not have been the kind of evil that would justify this kind of soulless minion. There's always something else going on. Oh! And it's better to practice the witchcraft with adult supervision. Wink

..and then what happens? I can't post my midnight tale because of forum maintenance; which seems to have lasted way more then an hour, and now it's the next day and Gwyneth is giving me this look... Of course, what I meant to say is Gwyneth Paltrow is the best thing ever, and obviously I'm a delusional fool. Never mind. I luf you Gwynnies!

[Image: 10289811_592837817482059_8815379025397103823_n.jpg]
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10-12-2011, 11:28 AM
RE: Gwyneth...
SMH

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"All that is necessary for the triumph of Calvinism is that good Atheists do nothing." ~Eric Oh My
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10-12-2011, 11:51 AM
RE: Gwyneth...
Doc Hoc is slipping away from this mortal plane into the 4th Dimension.

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10-12-2011, 11:55 AM
RE: Gwyneth...
In case he gets out of control, we ought to be prepared to defend ourselves:




"All that is necessary for the triumph of Calvinism is that good Atheists do nothing." ~Eric Oh My
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10-12-2011, 11:55 AM
RE: Gwyneth...
What is this? I don't even....

(12-11-2011 08:01 AM)houseofcantor Wrote:  "Love is merely chemistry" is a deception. We are merely chemistry. Love makes us master chemists.
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10-12-2011, 12:00 PM
RE: Gwyneth...
(10-12-2011 11:55 AM)Ferdinand Wrote:  What is this? I don't even....

I think Johnny C has come to use this forum as a sort of "cutting" behavior, only online instead of in the flesh. When he wasn't able to access the forum when he awoke from indigestion last night because of server maintenance, it triggered an episode. From there it gets blurry. He may or may not have done something disturbing.

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10-12-2011, 12:11 PM
RE: Gwyneth...
(10-12-2011 11:55 AM)Erxomai Wrote:  In case he gets out of control, we ought to be prepared to defend ourselves:

I could've joined the flying circus with my sense of humor. Big Grin

I like to think people are normal, i.e. don't have this crazy kind of lifestyle; and I share these anecdotes for some insight and some lulz. Crazy as it may seem, these were the first steps to a potential science of electromagnetic communication and simulation; should we leave the details out of the historical record?

And I just love thinking about my Gwynnies. She is my creator. There was nothing in this life before I drew that girl, and now there is love. Wink
(10-12-2011 12:00 PM)Erxomai Wrote:  I think Johnny C has come to use this forum as a sort of "cutting" behavior, only online instead of in the flesh. When he wasn't able to access the forum when he awoke from indigestion last night because of server maintenance, it triggered an episode. From there it gets blurry. He may or may not have done something disturbing.

Hellbound Preacher new to the thinking stuff, cause this is a big no. Big Grin

Atheism has been more like sane every day, and putting the "set theory" to the "LC" seems to have capped the well of strange visions. Now I'm boring. There's this big table with the laptop and TV on it, and to my left is my pic of Gwynnies from Elle magazine...

[Image: Gwyneth_Paltrow_-_Elle_magazine_photosho..._20103.jpg]

Kind of simple math to me, that god seems totally redundant in a universe where I love that girl this much. Overkill, I'm telling ya!

[Image: 10289811_592837817482059_8815379025397103823_n.jpg]
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10-12-2011, 06:40 PM
RE: Gwyneth...
(10-12-2011 12:11 PM)houseofcantor Wrote:  [Image: Gwyneth_Paltrow_-_Elle_magazine_photosho..._20103.jpg]

Kind of simple math to me, that god seems totally redundant in a universe where I love that girl this much. Overkill, I'm telling ya!

Dammit, HoC. I already beat off today. This'll have to wait until tomorrow.

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10-12-2011, 06:49 PM
RE: Gwyneth...
(10-12-2011 12:11 PM)houseofcantor Wrote:  [Image: Gwyneth_Paltrow_-_Elle_magazine_photosho..._20103.jpg]

Kind of simple math to me, that god seems totally redundant in a universe where I love that girl this much. Overkill, I'm telling ya!

Oh My Gwynnies! She really does exist!

Damn, if only the Fundies would provide photographic evidence for their beliefs the way you have, HoC!

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