HELLBOUND Food for Thought: Intelligent Design requires an Intelligent Designer.
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20-09-2011, 02:28 PM
 
HELLBOUND Food for Thought: Intelligent Design requires an Intelligent Designer.
Intelligent Design requires an Intelligent Designer, correct?

OK, so god sat around bored to tears in the vast emptiness of Nothing. So he waved his magic hands and invented light, mountains, water, seals, nipples for men, slugs, snakes, and all that we know. Ahhhhh…aint it nice. So afterwards this INTELLEGENT designer who happens to be all knowing plants Adam and eve in a garden then reaches for the remote to watch some breaking bad season 5…ONLY to hit the pause key to see that A&E have been munching at the apple stand. Now, before he gets all medieval on them…we must rewind a few days..weeks..years..hell, who knows. But before the earth, in this wonderful place of nothingness god was getting his ass kissed by all those around him. Sitting around enjoying his awesomeness he forgot to look in his crystal ball (it must have been in the pawn shop) as Satan decides to go it alone and hog some of G-mans spotlight. Now, the ALL seeing/knowing god..did not see that one coming (oops). So in a moment of pure brilliance creates hell, and sends him there as there was no other way to solve this problem….nice! (Again, did not see Satan’s greed or the creation of hell in his horoscope….god really does not do this “All knowing” thing too well). Now, back to Eden…so these two nudists being pure..and having no real moral compass as they have no real concept of bad or how to understand such a concept…eat from the Apple stand due to a talking snake (again, who obviously snuck in the garden as God was watching Breaking Bad!!!). Ooops again, so this Intelligent Designer spews his Mountain Dew all over his TV set as he realizes that Adam and Eve have baked a Dutch apple pie in the garden. Condemns them both to a not-so-immediate death, and makes Eve have labor pains.

Then years later, in his All-Knowingness-Intelligent-Designess…has to flush the earth toilet because his creatures had all gone bananas….again, did not see that one coming (he’s obviously Union as he gets a LOT of breaks). He fills up the bowl, pulls the plug and we all go flushing down earths drain. Unable to design the Men In Black Memory Zapper pen (took man to do that one), he opts for all out annihilation.

Then a few years later…sees his awesomely Intelligent Moral ways…he has to Rape Mary so he can bear a child only to KNOWINGLY have him killed at age 33. He could not have just Designed a suitable god-mate, nope..he’s gotta go tap on someone else’s woman. Love that moral compass!

I could easily go on about JC’s needless death for salvation (we need salvation from gods own goofy mistakes), but we’ll just stop here.

So the next time you confront an Intelligent Design Mook yammering on about how Evolution is bunk….you have to ask them this “The guy I JUST described is who YOU are calling THE Intelligent Designer? Cuz the guy seems careless and clumsy to me…and when backed into the corner, seems very unimaginative and destroys everything like a 3 year old in a temper tantrum.

This is the work of an Intelligent Designer????
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20-09-2011, 02:34 PM
RE: HELLBOUND Food for Thought: Intelligent Design requires an Intelligent Designer.
LOL! I'd say that's a very good condensed version of the Bible. I'm thinking we need to make it into something similar to a Chick tract and start leaving them in bathrooms and bus stations all over America!

“There is no sin except stupidity.” Oscar Wilde
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