Handling Peer Pressure
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11-10-2016, 06:49 PM
RE: Handling Peer Pressure
(11-10-2016 06:42 PM)julep Wrote:  We didn't even have a senior skip day when I was in high school, back in the Jurassic Age.

If you want to participate, that's fine. And if you don't want to drink, don't--and you don't need to give a reason. We all tend to think other people are more interested in our reasons for an action than they actually are. The people who care about you won't need an explanation; the people who don't will be bored and also won't need an explanation. It's really nobody else's business. You'll find that it's not actually that hard to say, "I'll have a Coke."

I will note that it's extremely instructive and a useful exercise occasionally to be sober while people around you are drinking.

Thank you! Good answer as well. I'm not going to and you're right I can leave it at that. On your last point I'm just curious why?
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11-10-2016, 06:50 PM
RE: Handling Peer Pressure
Right now, earning their approval might seem relevant. By this time next year, the bullshit of high school will be a distant memory. Whatever your long term objective might be, move towards it with or without their approval. Don't let short sighted distractions get in the way.

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11-10-2016, 06:54 PM
RE: Handling Peer Pressure
(11-10-2016 06:50 PM)yakherder Wrote:  Right now, earning their approval might seem relevant. By this time next year, the bullshit of high school will be a distant memory. Whatever your long term objective might be, move towards it with or without their approval. Don't let short sighted distractions get in the way.

I couldn't agree more! ThxSmile
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11-10-2016, 07:07 PM
RE: Handling Peer Pressure
(11-10-2016 06:32 PM)goldenarm Wrote:  
(11-10-2016 05:36 PM)skyking Wrote:  Jenny said the important things. That you are talking about it is a testament to your individuality.
Don't fret so much about morality and taking some higher ground on it. That's a bad path and a negative mindset.
The really good reason is, bad things are likely to happen, consequences that far outweigh any benefits.

Thanks and true that's a big reason I'm not going is because of the consequences that could arise. Also what is a better mindset in terms of morality in your opinion?
Enlightened self interest, in this case. Not going will not harm others. It will likely help you.
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11-10-2016, 07:12 PM
RE: Handling Peer Pressure
(11-10-2016 06:49 PM)goldenarm Wrote:  
(11-10-2016 06:42 PM)julep Wrote:  We didn't even have a senior skip day when I was in high school, back in the Jurassic Age.

If you want to participate, that's fine. And if you don't want to drink, don't--and you don't need to give a reason. We all tend to think other people are more interested in our reasons for an action than they actually are. The people who care about you won't need an explanation; the people who don't will be bored and also won't need an explanation. It's really nobody else's business. You'll find that it's not actually that hard to say, "I'll have a Coke."

I will note that it's extremely instructive and a useful exercise occasionally to be sober while people around you are drinking.

Thank you! Good answer as well. I'm not going to and you're right I can leave it at that. On your last point I'm just curious why?

Well, we all want to think that a drink or two will just cast a warm glow over everything, and that's often true, but you'll also be able to see how differently alcohol affects different people. Some people become happier and more social, some become angrier, some become sloppy and embarrassing and break things, some write fun stuff, and some projectile-vomit.

I am by no means anti-alcohol (have had two glasses of wine tonight, for example), but I do think it's useful to see how alcohol affects people you know, especially for someone who's a beginning drinker, and to realize that the effects you see in your friends can be happening to you, too.

It may seem weird to say this, but drinking is a skill, and the American culture that says you are supposed to abstain until age 21 and then suddenly be able to handle alcohol is really stupid, IMO. It tends to drive teen drinking underground and make it automatically excessive and desirable because it's forbidden. If you don't have a family where people drink habitually but moderately, where you aren't allowed to have a glass of wine and water at Thanksgiving when you're a teen, etc., then it's useful to be a bit scientific about approaching alcohol--and one of the ways to start is observation.
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11-10-2016, 07:19 PM
RE: Handling Peer Pressure
Good stuff, Julep.
Along those lines, you may not know how you change with the addition of alcohol. Your self perception is certainly skewed if you drink much. If you take some time for observation as Julep said, you may find that you don't really like your drinking self, based on those observations. I cannot take back time, but if I had followed her advice instead of wading in to the keg or bottle or whatever, I may have figured that out earlier.
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11-10-2016, 07:22 PM
RE: Handling Peer Pressure
That's one of the reasons I never risked getting drunk. The psychopath hiding in my subconscious can never be the one in charge Big Grin

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11-10-2016, 07:38 PM (This post was last modified: 11-10-2016 07:48 PM by goldenarm.)
RE: Handling Peer Pressure
(11-10-2016 07:12 PM)julep Wrote:  
(11-10-2016 06:49 PM)goldenarm Wrote:  Thank you! Good answer as well. I'm not going to and you're right I can leave it at that. On your last point I'm just curious why?

Well, we all want to think that a drink or two will just cast a warm glow over everything, and that's often true, but you'll also be able to see how differently alcohol affects different people. Some people become happier and more social, some become angrier, some become sloppy and embarrassing and break things, some write fun stuff, and some projectile-vomit.

I am by no means anti-alcohol (have had two glasses of wine tonight, for example), but I do think it's useful to see how alcohol affects people you know, especially for someone who's a beginning drinker, and to realize that the effects you see in your friends can be happening to you, too.

It may seem weird to say this, but drinking is a skill, and the American culture that says you are supposed to abstain until age 21 and then suddenly be able to handle alcohol is really stupid, IMO. It tends to drive teen drinking underground and make it automatically excessive and desirable because it's forbidden. If you don't have a family where people drink habitually but moderately, where you aren't allowed to have a glass of wine and water at Thanksgiving when you're a teen, etc., then it's useful to be a bit scientific about approaching alcohol--and one of the ways to start is observation.

Wow that was a great answer! There was some interesting and useful information in there. I will probably wait until college to even do any observation though because I'm still under the roof of my parents. Having said that when the time comes I will definitely use your advice. Also, with the forbidden thing I seem to notice that with sex in the American culture too.

Oh and one more thing. We had a group come in to my school Sophomore and a guy said alcohol wasn't legal until 21 because of something to do with your liver. I can't exactly remember. Thoughts?
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11-10-2016, 08:56 PM
RE: Handling Peer Pressure
If you've gone through puberty then your liver won't care much. Unless you drink copiously and frequently it's pretty hard to damage. Ditto for your brain and other organs. You can completely screw yourself at a very young age if you pickle yourself with years of binge drinking but a drink now and then or even getting wasted every once in a while is unlikely to do any long-term damage unless you drink to the point of alcohol poisoning.

As others have mentioned, the bigger risk is the short-term psychological effects. People say that alcohol changes people but that isn't quite right. What it does is knocks down your inhibitions. That lets you do all the things that normally you might think twice about. That can be a real blast if you know what you're doing and if you're with a group that you trust. With a large group of people that you don't know well you can pretty much count on a few true bastards showing their colours one way or another. Listen to the gossip after Skip Day and you'll here some great stories and some real ugliness too.

Some times inhibitions just get in the way of a good time. Some times they get in the way of a very bad idea. And sometimes it isn't your lack of inhibitions that's the problem. Drunken bastards don't often care who they hurt.

For your first time drinking pick some close friends that you trust and keep it moderate. That way you'll remember getting silly and won't have a hang-over straight out of Revelations.

---
Flesh and blood of a dead star, slain in the apocalypse of supernova, resurrected by four billion years of continuous autocatalytic reaction and crowned with the emergent property of sentience in the dream that the universe might one day understand itself.
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11-10-2016, 09:22 PM
RE: Handling Peer Pressure
(11-10-2016 06:42 PM)julep Wrote:  We didn't even have a senior skip day when I was in high school, back WHEN DINOSAURS ROAMED THE EARTH.

If you want to participate, that's fine. And if you don't want to drink, don't--and you don't need to give a reason. We all tend to think other people are more interested in our reasons for an action than they actually are. The people who care about you won't need an explanation; the people who don't will be bored and also won't need an explanation. It's really nobody else's business. You'll find that it's not actually that hard to say, "I'll have a Coke."

I will note that it's extremely instructive and a useful exercise occasionally to be sober while people around you are drinking.

Fixt it for you!. Also, for goldenarm- whatever you accept as a beverage, if you do go to said party, make sure that it is opened by you, or in your presence. Lots of pranksters.
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