Handling with kid gloves
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04-06-2014, 09:22 AM
Handling with kid gloves
Oh dear, my landlady may have really gone off the rails this time. I understand that she has mental health issues, abandonment issues (she was adopted and now her husband's left her), she's lonely (we're out in the country with no close neighbours), and she was raised Catholic by an allegedly abusive mother. I get that and I feel sorry for her and I don't want to put any more stress on her already fragile state of mind. But she really is crazy and I don't think she's being helped at all by whatever church she's been sucked into!

She tells a lot of untruths and though I could speculate on the reasons for her lies I'm more concerned with the nature of them at this point. Couple of days ago she told me that someone at her church/church leader had "tested" her and found out she is a prophet or seer or some such thing. I don't know if she was saying that to try and impress me because she needs approval or what but she doesn't know I'm a non-believer. I'm afraid she'll find out I'm an atheist and really have a fit!

I've surprised myself by being able to keep my mouth shut all these months but I fear my silence is being read as acceptance or encouragement, I just don't know what, if anything, I can say to herUndecided
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04-06-2014, 09:30 AM
RE: Handling with kid gloves
Well, I had a few ideas pop to mind, but it really depends on what your goal is for this relationship. Do you want her to just butt out and go find someone else to bother? Or do you want to be just a " how's the weather " neighbor? Or do you spend time with her and want to be more of a friend to her? Or are you trying to "fix" her because she is on the loony side?


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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04-06-2014, 09:31 AM
RE: Handling with kid gloves
Keep your distance or move.

I've had a similar "crazy landlady" It never ends well..
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04-06-2014, 10:06 AM
RE: Handling with kid gloves
(04-06-2014 09:30 AM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  Well, I had a few ideas pop to mind, but it really depends on what your goal is for this relationship. Do you want her to just butt out and go find someone else to bother? Or do you want to be just a " how's the weather " neighbor? Or do you spend time with her and want to be more of a friend to her? Or are you trying to "fix" her because she is on the loony side?

My goal is just to live here! But we share a yard and garden and she is a nice person most of the time. I'm not an UNfriendly person by nature anyway. It's her cyclical behaviour changes I have trouble dealing with and the fact that she doesn't want me to keep my distance. It's not up to me, she wants all our interactions on her terms and on her time. I don't want to fix her or even try but I would like it if she respected my boundaries! Unfortunately I don't feel I can even tell her what some of those boundaries are because they are related to religion and she's a fanatic.
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04-06-2014, 10:07 AM
RE: Handling with kid gloves
(04-06-2014 09:31 AM)Hobbitgirl Wrote:  Keep your distance or move.

I've had a similar "crazy landlady" It never ends well..

That's what I'm afraid of. I just like the place so much! And I don't dislike her, she's so unpredictable though. *sigh*
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04-06-2014, 10:18 AM
RE: Handling with kid gloves
(04-06-2014 10:07 AM)yellowwoodstraveler Wrote:  
(04-06-2014 09:31 AM)Hobbitgirl Wrote:  Keep your distance or move.

I've had a similar "crazy landlady" It never ends well..

That's what I'm afraid of. I just like the place so much! And I don't dislike her, she's so unpredictable though. *sigh*

Well if you really want to stay there you might want to master the art of "Smile and nod" Sad I really do feel for you though.

If it makes you feel better. That landlady I was talking about? She used to go through our apartment and also liked to cut wings off birds to decorate her house.
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04-06-2014, 11:17 AM
RE: Handling with kid gloves
Maybe a talk about how you really love the place, but you find certain topics uncomfortable to discuss for personal reasons. That you want to be friends but would prefer to talk about other things.

Give her the old religion, politics and money are things you would like avoid. Because they always end up heated.


Figure out a way to make it sound, sincere, kind but also not something you are going to back down from.


After, that conversation, anytime she starts down that path, cut her off and remind her that you both agreed not to discuss.

It will work as long as you are willing to protect the boundary.


Hobbit- that lady was whacko. Holy shit.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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04-06-2014, 11:28 AM
RE: Handling with kid gloves
(04-06-2014 11:17 AM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  Maybe a talk about how you really love the place, but you find certain topics uncomfortable to discuss for personal reasons. That you want to be friends but would prefer to talk about other things.

Give her the old religion, politics and money are things you would like avoid. Because they always end up heated.


Figure out a way to make it sound, sincere, kind but also not something you are going to back down from.


After, that conversation, anytime she starts down that path, cut her off and remind her that you both agreed not to discuss.

It will work as long as you are willing to protect the boundary.


Hobbit- that lady was whacko. Holy shit.

She really was, they were always big wings too, like Galahs and Cockatoos.

"Oh I found one dead, I thought the wings were pretty"
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04-06-2014, 11:42 AM
RE: Handling with kid gloves
(04-06-2014 10:18 AM)Hobbitgirl Wrote:  
(04-06-2014 10:07 AM)yellowwoodstraveler Wrote:  That's what I'm afraid of. I just like the place so much! And I don't dislike her, she's so unpredictable though. *sigh*

Well if you really want to stay there you might want to master the art of "Smile and nod" Sad I really do feel for you though.

If it makes you feel better. That landlady I was talking about? She used to go through our apartment and also liked to cut wings off birds to decorate her house.

I've been practicing the art of smile and nod for years, I've got it downWink

Yeah, your landlady sound truly out there. Mine hasn't yet gone through our place and she claims to respect our space, but she does try to push her way in if I answer the door to her. I feel like I need to start wearing football gear so I can block her more effectively. And she does not like to take no for an answer!
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04-06-2014, 11:49 AM
RE: Handling with kid gloves
I should also mention that she seems to have disappeared. She went out yesterday morning and hasn't been back since. I know her two cats have a gravity feeder so they won't starve to death anytime soon but I was worried enough to contact her BIL.
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