Hanging on to "christian" morality
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05-10-2013, 10:42 AM
Hanging on to "christian" morality
I lost my faith 10-11 years ago, but I have not changed my mind regarding waiting for sex till marriage, so today I find myself to be a 36 year old atheistic virgin Hobo

For those of you that were devoted believers and had decided for waiting with sex: Did any of you hold on to those views, and if is: How did you cope?

I ask this since it is a huge no-no to be a virgin in Norway (even when I were a devoted conservative christian it seemed hard to find equal-minded people)
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05-10-2013, 01:33 PM
RE: Hanging on to "christian" morality
NO : Tenke.
1.Hvo kan hjelp du in det forumet ? Jeg ikke vite.
2.Hvor er du ? du er in norge.
3.Hvo er du ? Jeg ikke vite.

Finne riktig spørsmålet.
Viocjit fra frankrike.


EN : Think.
1.Who can help you in this forum ? I don't know.
2.Where are you ? You're in Norway.
3.Who are you ? I don't know.

Find the right question.
Viocjit from France.
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05-10-2013, 01:48 PM
RE: Hanging on to "christian" morality
(05-10-2013 10:42 AM)als77 Wrote:  I ask this since it is a huge no-no to be a virgin in Norway (even when I were a devoted conservative christian it seemed hard to find equal-minded people)
Ok, but why does everyone have to know? Or do you mean it's just common knowledge, people know that about you anyway. I don't see any particular reason that everyone needs to know if you're having sex or not;certainly not people who you're not in a relationship with. And if you are in a relationship with someone, I would hope that the person could be understanding if you explained yourself. If not, I'd question whether that person is worth being in a relationship with or not. If it's not easy to do so in real life, it may be easier to find like-minded people on the internet.

Unless you really think it's some kind of religious hang-up that you want to get rid of. Do you want to have sex but feel bad about it, or do you not want sex and just wish more people were ok with that? If it's the latter, you might be putting too much weight on the opinions of others. If you explain yourself and they don't accept it, to hell with those people, I'd say they don't deserve to be your friend.
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05-10-2013, 04:10 PM
RE: Hanging on to "christian" morality
Will having sex change you? Will it make you impure?

Will your future wife/husband appreciate that you waited for her/him, or will she/he find it freaky?
Probably doesn't matter because if she/he loves you, she/he probably won't care too much, unless maybe you have had heaps of unprotected sex and have contracted long term disease.

All I can suggest is that sex is no big deal, its just a natural part of life. It's your life and your choice, you don't need others to support or oppose your position. You are in the driver's seat of your own life. Live it how you feel suits you best.
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05-10-2013, 04:35 PM
RE: Hanging on to "christian" morality
What Stevil said. Sex is no big deal. i think a big problem is that society tends to make it into such a big deal, people are too concerned if they've had it or not, if they have it enough, if they do it too much, etc.
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06-10-2013, 01:45 AM
RE: Hanging on to "christian" morality
Thanks for your replies. I may have been a bit unclear: My problem is that sex still is a big thing for me Sad

I don't care to much about what others think, but it is painful to be "the only one". I also seriously doubt that I can cope with sharing my life with someone who does not share my views (although I know that I can love someone who doesn't).

So my question is, if there are any former christians who held on to their former views about sex, how they dealed with this issue
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06-10-2013, 01:47 AM (This post was last modified: 06-10-2013 01:58 AM by GandalfGray.)
RE: Hanging on to "christian" morality
From your country aswell. Not much into relationship, but finding a nice gal sure sounds nice though Smile
Edit: A wise man once said. Experience might be bitter but reflection is noble. Knowledge might lead you to right path, try not to worry though. Reading might help sometimes, but i wouldn't worry so much about it, besides, there are other alternatives over sex.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vabnZ9-ex7o
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06-10-2013, 04:32 AM
RE: Hanging on to "christian" morality
(05-10-2013 10:42 AM)als77 Wrote:  I lost my faith 10-11 years ago, but I have not changed my mind regarding waiting for sex till marriage, so today I find myself to be a 36 year old atheistic virgin Hobo

For those of you that were devoted believers and had decided for waiting with sex: Did any of you hold on to those views, and if is: How did you cope?

I ask this since it is a huge no-no to be a virgin in Norway (even when I were a devoted conservative christian it seemed hard to find equal-minded people)

Ska det bety? Jeg er midt i russesyken og jeg har ingen tanker om a ha sex, og ingen gir blaffen om hva jeg gjør. Det ikke det at du er jomfru som er konfilkten hovedsakelig, det er det at du ikke vil ha sex før giftemålet som gjør det komplisert.

Må spørre, hvor mye ønsker du å ha sex? Tidene har forandra seg og du vet sex har blitt en nøkkelfaktor i nesten alle forhold, SPESIELT i giftemål eller samboerskap. Det er synd at du ikke kan finne en likesinnet, og hvis du finner en person som er det erre sikkert en superkristen figur som bor i ei bygd midt ut i ingenting.

Sist men ikke minst må jeg spørre deg om hvor viktig giftemålet er. Siden du ikke er religiøs lenger, hva er verdien av giftemålet hvis det ikke er spirituelt? Hvis jeg får vite det, skjønner jeg kanskje posisjonen din bedre.

Håper at du ikke fant noe i dette utdraget til å være sårende på noen måte, si ifra hvis det var sånn.

Ser deg senere, landsmann.

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06-10-2013, 07:11 AM
Hanging on to "christian" morality
(06-10-2013 01:45 AM)als77 Wrote:  Thanks for your replies. I may have been a bit unclear: My problem is that sex still is a big thing for me Sad

I don't care to much about what others think, but it is painful to be "the only one". I also seriously doubt that I can cope with sharing my life with someone who does not share my views (although I know that I can love someone who doesn't).

So my question is, if there are any former christians who held on to their former views about sex, how they dealed with this issue

You have not really explained what your views are . Why do you want to be a virgin?
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07-10-2013, 12:25 PM
RE: Hanging on to "christian" morality
I'll try to be more precise: I want to WAIT with sex until I am married. I am one of the few (call it brainwashed or broken if you want) that (still) believe sex is something special and therefor should only be shared with your spouse. It is an emotional thing and it is (unfortunately) something that is deeply rooted in me, even after loosing my faith.

My problem is that, since it is such a big emotional thing for me, I will have big problems accepting my spouse to not have the same views/background regarding waiting with sex til marriage. And there are not many (atheistic) women that do want to wait til marriage, especially not at my age...

@elk: I am of course not looking for a church-wedding Smile But my highest dream for the last 15 years or so, had been to find someone to share my life with. I also want the commitment that is (or used to be) in a marriage. So when I talk about marriage, I really am talking about a formal commitment. Borgerlig vielse med andre ord. Fant forresten ikke noe støtende i innlegget ditt, og jeg lette godt! hehe
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