Have you ever loved a christian or theist for that matter?
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02-11-2010, 12:07 PM (This post was last modified: 02-11-2010 12:14 PM by Mindprowler.)
RE: Have you ever loved a christian or theist for that matter?
(02-11-2010 02:02 AM)jkshrout Wrote:  
(01-11-2010 08:22 PM)Mindprowler Wrote:  I have yet to fall in love with anybody but I simply could not
see myself being comfortable with somebody who's opinion
on who and what we are, why we are here, and how we
should live our life is so much different than my own.

But maybe I just don't know love yet Wink
Why though? Does our interpretation of how we got here really control our lives? I understand that there are some overly religious folk in this world, but for the most part, if I love someone, their belief in how we got here shouldn't change anything.

Decisions based on faith. I'm speaking of a long-term relationship
with a fundamentalist. Arguments arising from questions like "should
our family attend church" and "should our children attend private
schools". Whether or not our children would be taught morality
througn fear of burning in hell for eternity or through common
sense. Would that not cause serious tension between a couple?

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02-11-2010, 12:15 PM
RE: Have you ever loved a christian or theist for that matter?
Mindprowler makes a good point here. I really do think it would cause a considerable rift between my wife and I if she were not an atheist. Raising my children in the church would mean teaching them many things that I feel are not only wrong, but detrimental to raising a child that thinks for herself. Whether I am right or wrong in my thinking, it would definitely cause alot of tension in the relationship.
That being said, I don't think it's an insurmountable problem, but definitely one I would avoid if I were still looking for a partner.

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02-11-2010, 12:17 PM
RE: Have you ever loved a christian or theist for that matter?
Phew, I thought I was being unreasonably intolerant for a second there.
Short-term is different I guess, but I could see myself bring up the subject often
for it is a huge interest of mine and I can't get enough of debating the topic.

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02-11-2010, 01:13 PM
 
RE: Have you ever loved a christian or theist for that matter?
I agree with the majority of the post on here, Being a Gay Christian i had a boyfriend i dated for a good 3 years, he practiced Wicca and knew my religion. I accepted him for all he was, and he accepted me for all of who i was. He would often call into question my beliefs and i did the same for him. True love in my opinion is the complete acceptance of someone regardless of their thoughts, feelings, or past experiences. If the thing that tore you apart was you bringing questions about her faith then consider it a good thing it happened sooner then later. Yes be sad, yes feel the normal feelings but know this, If she couldn't accept you for being who you are, yet you fully accepted her to the point where you tried to even walk in her shoes by attending church so you could be close to her, seems like on that aspect the relationship was about you giving of yourself and her doing all the taking. Which is in no way a healthy relationship.

On to the topic however, I do believe that the differences in beliefs can be a hurdle to overcome however if it is based upon true love for the other person its not going to matter. The things that bring us closer and keep things interesting in a relationships tend to be what are the differences.

^_^ i have done my little rant on the subject

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03-11-2010, 03:11 AM
 
RE: Have you ever loved a christian or theist for that matter?
My answer to the question that is the title of this thread "Have you ever loved a christian or theist?" - yes. Although my wife was raised a christian (as was I), she never made a big deal about it and we didn't take our children to church at all.

Curiously, my son (whom I love, of course) became a catholic in order to marry a catholic woman (whom I love, as well) who is relatively devout. And my son has the zeal of a convert. I can anticipate a time when things could get a bit tense regarding my granddaughter, who is being raised a catholic, naturally, but that's down the road somewhere. For the moment, I have no problem with either my son or my daughter-in-law regarding religion ... my explanation for this lack of conflict is that they are now living in Germany, and I hardly ever see them!

In general, having a conflict between husband and wife regarding religion likely would be a big concern when it comes to how children are going to be brought up. Devout christians are pretty intense when it comes to indoctrinating their children. I would have had difficulty letting that go unchallenged, but as time has passed, my wife's religious commitment has diminished, if anything. I'd like to think I've helped her see religion as it is.
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03-11-2010, 03:33 PM
RE: Have you ever loved a christian or theist for that matter?
Since I live in Utah, nearly 95 percent of people are Mormon or "religious," which makes dating really tough. I've got that 5-10 percent of people who aren't looking for "eternal spiritual partners." It doesn't help either, that the church teaches the women from very young, that this is the only way to be happy.

I've been rejected a few times because of my lack of faith. It hurts. I'm bad with women anyways so it makes it that much tougher.

I usually keep my love life to myself for this reason. Whilst all my friends discuss their relationships, I'm usually occupied keeping my own concerns in my head. For they are Mormon and wouldn't understand, anyways.

It's a bit depressing, but I'm going to keep optimistic, I guess.

Normally my advice for you would to be honest with yourself. But seeing that not being able to find a spouse myself, I may in this case, suggest you do what will make you happy.

But I don't know if that is morally right? Tough topic...
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03-11-2010, 11:44 PM
RE: Have you ever loved a christian or theist for that matter?
(02-11-2010 12:17 PM)Mindprowler Wrote:  Phew, I thought I was being unreasonably intolerant for a second there.
Short-term is different I guess, but I could see myself bring up the subject often
for it is a huge interest of mine and I can't get enough of debating the topic.
No, you weren't being unreasonably tolerant. You were right. I just didn't think about the long-term problems that would arise. I guess what I was just trying to say is that if I love someone, their views on how we got here wouldn't make me love them any less (with some exceptions, of course).

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05-11-2010, 07:22 AM
RE: Have you ever loved a christian or theist for that matter?
(03-11-2010 03:33 PM)UtahSkeptic Wrote:  Since I live in Utah, nearly 95 percent of people are Mormon or "religious," which makes dating really tough. I've got that 5-10 percent of people who aren't looking for "eternal spiritual partners." It doesn't help either, that the church teaches the women from very young, that this is the only way to be happy.

I've been rejected a few times because of my lack of faith. It hurts. I'm bad with women anyways so it makes it that much tougher.

I usually keep my love life to myself for this reason. Whilst all my friends discuss their relationships, I'm usually occupied keeping my own concerns in my head. For they are Mormon and wouldn't understand, anyways.

It's a bit depressing, but I'm going to keep optimistic, I guess.

Normally my advice for you would to be honest with yourself. But seeing that not being able to find a spouse myself, I may in this case, suggest you do what will make you happy.

But I don't know if that is morally right? Tough topic...

I think the very next thing on your "to do" list should be: get the hell out of Utah.

Shackle their minds when they're bent on the cross
When ignorance reigns, life is lost
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05-11-2010, 07:08 PM
RE: Have you ever loved a christian or theist for that matter?
(05-11-2010 07:22 AM)BnW Wrote:  I think the very next thing on your "to do" list should be: get the hell out of Utah.

I agree. There are many places in the world that have higher percenages of tolerant people.
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06-11-2010, 08:38 AM
RE: Have you ever loved a christian or theist for that matter?
This is why I'm grateful I was raised and live in the northeastern US. Higher levels of educated people and lower levels of pure ignoramuses. We certainly have our share but, as a percentage of the total population, it is much, much lower.

Of course, the trade off is we have a significantly higher population level so its crowded, crime is higher (although proportionally I'm not sure it is) and its ridiculously expensive to live here. Small price to pay to avoid being surrounded by zealots, though.

Shackle their minds when they're bent on the cross
When ignorance reigns, life is lost
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