Poll: Did you ever find yourself settling for a relationship?
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Have you ever settled in a relationship?
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03-06-2017, 06:00 PM
Have you ever settled in a relationship?
Why or why not? Doesn't have to be a current one, just any rship you've ever had.
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03-06-2017, 06:06 PM
RE: Have you ever settled in a relationship?
Settled for what?

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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03-06-2017, 06:09 PM
RE: Have you ever settled in a relationship?
(03-06-2017 06:06 PM)kim Wrote:  Settled for what?

Less than you deserve.
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03-06-2017, 06:15 PM
RE: Have you ever settled in a relationship?
Never. Don't you or anyone else do it, either. I'd live alone for the rest of my life before I'd settle. I got pretty lucky, that way. All the short term angst might be messy, but coming out the other side, there is freedom. Been there, done that. That one woman would have ruined my life.



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03-06-2017, 06:23 PM
RE: Have you ever settled in a relationship?
I don't think I have? I would equate settling to being unhappy...and the relationships I had that were unhappy ended for one reason or another, so I obviously didn't settle.

I have definitely compromised though. I think everyone does when they are in a relationship, unless you are dating/married to your exact clone Smile

"If you don't have a seat at the table, you're probably on the menu."

[Image: parodia-michal-aniol-flying-spaghetti-monster.jpg]
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03-06-2017, 06:25 PM (This post was last modified: 03-06-2017 06:56 PM by yakherder.)
RE: Have you ever settled in a relationship?
I don't know if settled is the right term. I've only really been in two.

In the first, it was a misguided sense of responsibility that kept me around. Leaving her would have resulted in the forfeiture of her US residency and completely screwed over her parents and siblings back in China, who depended on her sending money after having dropped out of college in China in order to move to the US with me. Even after being cheated on, I maintained the relationship for several years while she obtained citizenship, finished her degree, and got herself situated enough to take care of herself.

My current relationship is essentially dead. We still live as a family, and more or less get along and don't hate reach other, but we don't sleep in the same bed, haven't been intimate since our youngest was conceived about 3 years ago, and hadn't been intimate for several years before that since our oldest was conceived (yeah, I'm like way fertile, just once or twice is enough to make a baby), and despite being conflicted in regards to the best path to take in light of the overwhelming info out there saying that staying together "for the kids" is often self defeating as they eventually become intuitive enough to realize mommy and daddy aren't really a couple anymore, that's exactly what I'm doing.

I'm sure there are better matches out there for me, and I don't doubt my ability to find them If I had the opportunity, but right now it's all about the kids.

'Murican Canadian
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03-06-2017, 06:26 PM
RE: Have you ever settled in a relationship?
I've felt strong pressure in my life to do that and have felt like an odd duck in my community for not doing so. But I see such an activity as anathema to my life. I DO NOT NEED TO BE MARRIED TO SOME LOSER OR HAVE A CHILD WITH SAID LOSER SO I CAN MEET THE COMMUNAL STANDARD TO BE ACCEPTABLE ALL THE WHILE I AM MISERABLE AND HEADED STRAIGHT FOR A MESSY DIVORCE. If I meet someone who I want to marry, fine. But I sure as shit will not marry someone because a community or family thinks I should. And by the way, who are they to tell me what I need?

"IN THRUST WE TRUST"

"We were conservative Jews and that meant we obeyed God's Commandments until His rules became a royal pain in the ass."

- Joel Chastnoff, The 188th Crybaby Brigade
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03-06-2017, 06:28 PM
RE: Have you ever settled in a relationship?
(03-06-2017 06:15 PM)Fireball Wrote:  Never. Don't you or anyone else do it, either. I'd live alone for the rest of my life before I'd settle. I got pretty lucky, that way. All the short term angst might be messy, but coming out the other side, there is freedom. Been there, done that. That one woman would have ruined my life.




That's not the end of that story.





*Don't pull out Harry Chapin when his biggest fan is in the house. Big Grin

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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03-06-2017, 06:34 PM
RE: Have you ever settled in a relationship?
Carlo, I'm trying to click like for your post but for some reason I have bad reception as I'm at a restaurant. I didn't want you to think I forgot you after liking everyone else's Tongue
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03-06-2017, 06:35 PM
RE: Have you ever settled in a relationship?
Coming from an abusive family I didn't know that there was any other way than to settle.

My second husband is a prime example. My first husband died in a car accident and I met and married my second husband before I should have ever even dated. I knew very early on that he was a cheater and a liar. But I already had one marriage under my belt and was determined to not screw up. I overlooked a lot. We added a son to my two daughters only to find out years later that while I was pregnant with our son he was getting someone else pregnant. I stuck it out for seven years and finally said 'Uncle'. There were too many affairs, too many lies, too much hurt and disappointment.

After that I was simply in survival mode...where I have stayed for 25 years.

I envy people who have healthy relationships. It's not been part of my experience.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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