Poll: Did you ever find yourself settling for a relationship?
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Have you ever settled in a relationship?
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03-06-2017, 07:13 PM (This post was last modified: 03-06-2017 07:44 PM by Dark Light.)
RE: Have you ever settled in a relationship?
Who deserves what? Who decides? Objectively? We decide for ourselves, limited only by what the free-market of individuals allows. Probably not the answer you were looking for. Personally I think I deserve my wife, and her me. We are great partners that support each other. You could say we 'settled' for one another, and I'd take no umbrage with that.

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03-06-2017, 07:15 PM
RE: Have you ever settled in a relationship?
(03-06-2017 07:07 PM)jennybee Wrote:  *hugs* sounds like for the best though even though I'm sure it still hurts.

It was for the best. I'm more mad than sad. Spending all that time, love, money, and energy on one person, only for the relationship to be tossed away like garbage really pisses me off. I cut off all contact with her after the breakup. I still dream about her from time to time.

I'm going to Taiwan to study Chinese for a year (something that was in the works well before the breakup). I've told my family and friends that I'm hoping to major in Asian vagina while I'm there.
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03-06-2017, 07:18 PM
RE: Have you ever settled in a relationship?
(03-06-2017 07:15 PM)ghostexorcist Wrote:  
(03-06-2017 07:07 PM)jennybee Wrote:  *hugs* sounds like for the best though even though I'm sure it still hurts.

It was for the best. I'm more mad than sad. Spending all that time, love, money, and energy on one person, only for the relationship to be tossed away like garbage really pisses me off. I cut off all contact with her after the breakup. I still dream about her from time to time.

I'm going to Taiwan to study Chinese for a year (something that was in the works well before the breakup). I've told my family and friends that I'm hoping to major in Asian vagina while I'm there.

Enjoy your studies and Asian vagina Wink
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03-06-2017, 07:23 PM
RE: Have you ever settled in a relationship?
(03-06-2017 07:18 PM)jennybee Wrote:  
(03-06-2017 07:15 PM)ghostexorcist Wrote:  It was for the best. I'm more mad than sad. Spending all that time, love, money, and energy on one person, only for the relationship to be tossed away like garbage really pisses me off. I cut off all contact with her after the breakup. I still dream about her from time to time.

I'm going to Taiwan to study Chinese for a year (something that was in the works well before the breakup). I've told my family and friends that I'm hoping to major in Asian vagina while I'm there.

Enjoy your studies and Asian vagina Wink

Thank you
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03-06-2017, 07:36 PM
RE: Have you ever settled in a relationship?
(03-06-2017 07:15 PM)ghostexorcist Wrote:  --- I'm more mad than sad. Spending all that time, love, money, and energy on one person, only for the relationship to be tossed away like garbage really pisses me off. ---
---

Truth.
Right.
There.

Just don't hang on to it. With time, you'll lose the anger and won't be bitter.

Oh, you'll still have that monetary total in the back of your head and probably want that fucking $11,900 back, for the rest of your life. That's not bittermess Dodgy it's a thrifty reminder.


Good luck with your Asian vagina studies, Ghoste. Shy

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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03-06-2017, 07:37 PM
RE: Have you ever settled in a relationship?
I don't think so.

Maybe the closest is that it took me a long time to figure out what I wanted, and in the course of that exploration I dated guys who didn't really fit with that...but I hadn't necessarily realized that until we were already in a relationship. I dated a fair number of guys who weren't ideal, but it didn't feel to me like I was settling. If it turned out I felt bored or out of synch, the relationship ended fairly quickly. Part of that was until I met my husband, I had never moved in with a guy. Much easier to get out of a deadend situation if there's no security deposit, couch, etc.

Been married a long time and had plenty of downs along with the ups, but I see my husband as a great guy and myself as lucky for having met him.
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03-06-2017, 07:42 PM
RE: Have you ever settled in a relationship?
(03-06-2017 07:02 PM)Robvalue Wrote:  Yeah... I was so amazed someone liked me, I ignored lots of very serious problems and let them treat me like shit. Then I got badly used by someone and should have seen it coming.

You summed things up so well. Sorry it happened that way to you too man. Sad Glad you've found someone who treats you right and loves you though! That's wonderful!

Need to think of a witty signature.
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03-06-2017, 07:50 PM
RE: Have you ever settled in a relationship?
Yes, I have. Learned my lesson the hard way, gave up on dating. No more of that shit again!
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03-06-2017, 07:58 PM
RE: Have you ever settled in a relationship?
(03-06-2017 07:06 PM)jennybee Wrote:  
(03-06-2017 07:02 PM)Robvalue Wrote:  Yeah... I was so amazed someone liked me, I ignored lots of very serious problems and let them treat me like shit. Then I got badly used by someone and should have seen it coming. At least I learned from them and I'm now with someone who respects me Smile

Good I'm glad you are being treated well now. You are an awesome person and so deserve only good things in life *hugs*

That means a lot to me, thank you so much Heart

(03-06-2017 07:42 PM)Shai Hulud Wrote:  
(03-06-2017 07:02 PM)Robvalue Wrote:  Yeah... I was so amazed someone liked me, I ignored lots of very serious problems and let them treat me like shit. Then I got badly used by someone and should have seen it coming.

You summed things up so well. Sorry it happened that way to you too man. Sad Glad you've found someone who treats you right and loves you though! That's wonderful!

Thank you, yes my wife is wonderful and I'm a very lucky guy to be with her Smile

I have a website here which discusses the issues and terminology surrounding religion and atheism. It's hopefully user friendly to all.
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03-06-2017, 08:03 PM
RE: Have you ever settled in a relationship?
@Ghost: That's terrible, I'm very sad to hear someone could treat you that way Sad

(03-06-2017 06:35 PM)Anjele Wrote:  Coming from an abusive family I didn't know that there was any other way than to settle.

My second husband is a prime example. My first husband died in a car accident and I met and married my second husband before I should have ever even dated. I knew very early on that he was a cheater and a liar. But I already had one marriage under my belt and was determined to not screw up. I overlooked a lot. We added a son to my two daughters only to find out years later that while I was pregnant with our son he was getting someone else pregnant. I stuck it out for seven years and finally said 'Uncle'. There were too many affairs, too many lies, too much hurt and disappointment.

After that I was simply in survival mode...where I have stayed for 25 years.

I envy people who have healthy relationships. It's not been part of my experience.

I'm so sorry for what you've been through Heart

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