Having fun with a bigoted pastor
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
13-04-2014, 04:51 AM
Having fun with a bigoted pastor
Hey guys!

I haven't posted in a while, but I wanted to share this with you.

So I haven't come out as an atheist yet, and I still go to my pentecostal church. I'll go away for college soon and I'll hardly ever see any of the people there, so I figured I wouldn't out myself at this time.

After first admitting to myself a while back that I don't believe in god anymore, the terrible lies that my pastor presented as facts bothered me a lot, as did his bigotry and his hate for gay people. As time passed, though, I started finding it rather amusing. You may think his closed-mindedness (is that a word?) is sad, and in a way it is, but after realizing it stems from stupidity you start appreciating its comedic value.

He was telling a story today about how he went to a restaurant, and after realizing his waiter was gay, he went to eat somewhere else, out of fear that he'd punch him in the face (talk about Christian love). The sermon was about Jesus' love for humans in the context of Easter, so go figure how much of a bigot he is, if he managed to squeeze some hate for gays into that. He went on to explain how grossed out he was by homosexuals. Now, I'm a closeted sinner/Satan-worshiping sodomite myself, so after the sermon was over, I went and gave him a hug (we do this a lot in my church, so no one batted an eye), knowing full well that one day I'd out myself, and when he finds out and he remembers I hugged him, he'll hopefully get every painful shot possible and shower for a few days straight, just to make sure his skin won't come off.

So if any of you guys are still going to church and have fun stories to share I'd love to hear them Smile
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 6 users Like atheist_johndoe's post
13-04-2014, 04:58 AM
RE: Having fun with a bigoted pastor
Print out this paper and give it to him

http://my.psychologytoday.com/files/u47/Henry_et_al.pdf
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 7 users Like Mathilda's post
13-04-2014, 05:03 AM
RE: Having fun with a bigoted pastor
(13-04-2014 04:58 AM)Mathilda Wrote:  Print out this paper and give it to him

http://my.psychologytoday.com/files/u47/Henry_et_al.pdf

Holy hell I honestly think that big-ass vein on his forehead would pop.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like atheist_johndoe's post
13-04-2014, 05:12 AM
RE: Having fun with a bigoted pastor
Here's a case study:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ted_Haggard

Give me your argument in the form of a published paper, and then we can start to talk.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 7 users Like Hafnof's post
13-04-2014, 06:06 AM
RE: Having fun with a bigoted pastor
Pm me the pastors name and address, I will mail them. The post mark from NC will keep him puzzled forever. Lol


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
13-04-2014, 07:52 AM
RE: Having fun with a bigoted pastor
Give me his name and address. I'll post him a sexy love letter from Sydney telling him a recent lover from his church spoke highly of him and thinks he's in the closet.

I'll tell him all about the gay and lesbian madi gras. I'll get some gay friends to send kisses. Smile

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Banjo's post
13-04-2014, 07:53 AM
RE: Having fun with a bigoted pastor
You asked for stories to share, so I'll share one. I was raised in an atheist/agnostic home, religion wasn't something we talked about. But I grew up in Texas, so to suggest I'm unfamiliar with religion would be a gross underestimation of the prositution of religion in our everyday lives.

Anyway, I married a man who grew up in a catholic home (which is a story unto itself but not the one I'm going to tell here). My husband is active duty military, so he spends a fair amount of time away from home and I often get tasked with "representing" him at his family's function which he cannot attend. The most recent one was his grandparents 65th wedding anniversary.

Now, they are devout catholics and very much aware than I am an atheist. They don't care. Actually, mostly they just don't think about it much. As times passes, we continue to be the progeny showing the most signs of self sufficience and that's saying a lot in this family. Laugh out load

This adorable couple, whom I otherwise adore, are in their late 80's and don't get out much anymore. But they wanted to have immediate family at a special mass in their honor at the church they've been attending the better part of their lives (they were married in it). And since my husband isn't home, I had to go (with our atheist daugther) in his place, not that I wouldn't have gone with him had he been home at the time.

The priest decides that a good passage to use for a 65th wedding anniversary celebratory mass is the one where jesus says if you aren't willing to leave everything and everyone you love behind, you aren't worthy of him. Hobo

As I looked around at all the faces that were soaking this crap up like dried out sponges I wondered to myself, how many of them would suddenly become atheists if they were told they had to give up their spouse or kids to follow some prophet? I know we see cult leaders rise up every now and again, but I just wonder how many of the more than 100 in that church would be so gullible?

But, bottom line, here's what I learned: atheist in a church, really not a great idea. Laugh out load
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like Mat0816's post
14-04-2014, 06:46 AM
RE: Having fun with a bigoted pastor
(13-04-2014 04:58 AM)Mathilda Wrote:  Print out this paper and give it to him

http://my.psychologytoday.com/files/u47/Henry_et_al.pdf

It's funny that you linked that. Before I saw that, I was thinking how it always seems that the people with the most visceral reaction to homosexuality turn out to be closeted, self-loathing homosexuals. You don't get this the same way when someone says they oppose homosexuality on moral/biblical grounds, but it frequently seems to be the case when someone's biggest argument is "it's gross".
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like RobbyPants's post
14-04-2014, 07:06 AM
RE: Having fun with a bigoted pastor
(14-04-2014 06:46 AM)RobbyPants Wrote:  
(13-04-2014 04:58 AM)Mathilda Wrote:  Print out this paper and give it to him

http://my.psychologytoday.com/files/u47/Henry_et_al.pdf

It's funny that you linked that. Before I saw that, I was thinking how it always seems that the people with the most visceral reaction to homosexuality turn out to be closeted, self-loathing homosexuals. You don't get this the same way when someone says they oppose homosexuality on moral/biblical grounds, but it frequently seems to be the case when someone's biggest argument is "it's gross".

I've noticed the same thing. Now when I hear someone vehemently disgusted with homosexuality I start wondering, how long before that closet door creaks open?

"The person who is certain, and who claims divine warrant for his certainty, belongs now to the infancy of our species." - Christopher Hitchens

"Remember kids, if you don't sin, then Jesus died for nothing. Have a great day!" - Ricky Gervais
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Eva's post
14-04-2014, 07:18 AM (This post was last modified: 14-04-2014 07:25 AM by Bible Belt Brawler.)
RE: Having fun with a bigoted pastor
(13-04-2014 04:51 AM)atheist_johndoe Wrote:  Hey guys!

I haven't posted in a while, but I wanted to share this with you.

So I haven't come out as an atheist yet, and I still go to my pentecostal church. I'll go away for college soon and I'll hardly ever see any of the people there, so I figured I wouldn't out myself at this time.

After first admitting to myself a while back that I don't believe in god anymore, the terrible lies that my pastor presented as facts bothered me a lot, as did his bigotry and his hate for gay people. As time passed, though, I started finding it rather amusing. You may think his closed-mindedness (is that a word?) is sad, and in a way it is, but after realizing it stems from stupidity you start appreciating its comedic value.

He was telling a story today about how he went to a restaurant, and after realizing his waiter was gay, he went to eat somewhere else, out of fear that he'd punch him in the face (talk about Christian love). The sermon was about Jesus' love for humans in the context of Easter, so go figure how much of a bigot he is, if he managed to squeeze some hate for gays into that. He went on to explain how grossed out he was by homosexuals. Now, I'm a closeted sinner/Satan-worshiping sodomite myself, so after the sermon was over, I went and gave him a hug (we do this a lot in my church, so no one batted an eye), knowing full well that one day I'd out myself, and when he finds out and he remembers I hugged him, he'll hopefully get every painful shot possible and shower for a few days straight, just to make sure his skin won't come off.

So if any of you guys are still going to church and have fun stories to share I'd love to hear them Smile

As you may or may not know, I was raised Jehovah's Witness, but never baptized. Well, I've had to go to the cult meeting a couple of times before my mother stopped trying to reconvert me (she is very passive-aggressive, now) and it's still just sad what I hear.

One memorable statement was:
"...In many states, it is becoming acceptable to be homosexual. We, as true christians, must not fall into the trap of thinking 'well, they are human,' rather, we should follow God's inspired word, The Bible..."

Sickening, huh?
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Bible Belt Brawler's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: