Heading to a funeral (full of theists)
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
17-06-2012, 06:33 PM
Heading to a funeral (full of theists)
Well Monday (the 17th of June, just to clarify Smile ) I will be heading to the visitation/funeral of an uncle--they're only having sons/brothers/sisters at the graveyard ceremony--and the family was full of theists last I knew....

It will be my first time going to anything after accepting without any questioning that I'm an atheist. They don't know, but still.... it has the possibility of being interesting. I just hope I don't seem "callous" to them.

Not that I'll see it, but anyone have any tips? I know, late and all (lol) but at least if anyone replies tonight, I'll see it Smile
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
17-06-2012, 07:18 PM
RE: Heading to a funeral (full of theists)
Dude, it's a funeral.
Personal religion and arguments as to who is and who isn't an atheist should never have anything to do with it.

You shut the fuck up, respect the dead persons religion and don't get into heated arguments with people at the funeral about petty things when you should be there grieving your uncle.

Don't be so disrespectful.

[Image: 3cdac7eec8f6b059070d9df56f50a7ae.jpg]
Now with 40% more awesome.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like earmuffs's post
17-06-2012, 07:19 PM
RE: Heading to a funeral (full of theists)
Tip: don't go. 'Nother tip: never invite me. Yeah, that's all I got. :/

[Image: klingon_zps7e68578a.jpg]
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
17-06-2012, 07:23 PM
RE: Heading to a funeral (full of theists)
Just suffer and say the words with the rest of them. Then never go to another one unless they know about your atheism.

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Xinoftruden's post
17-06-2012, 07:31 PM
RE: Heading to a funeral (full of theists)
Like Earmuffs, but less in yo face.

If I went to an Irish wake and they asked me to engage in keening, maybe I would, maybe I'd feel silly. But I would never question their right to the ritual. The ritual is what's important. It's a way for them to deal with the death (I'm assuming by what you wrote that you weren't terribly close to your uncle). I think that your focus should be to be a healthy part of the berevement process. If you can't do that, which is your perogative, then don't go. It's not about you, so don't make it about you.

Peace and Love and Empathy,

Matt
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like Ghost's post
17-06-2012, 07:40 PM (This post was last modified: 17-06-2012 08:01 PM by Bucky Ball.)
RE: Heading to a funeral (full of theists)
Or, maybe wear yer handy dandy Dick Tracy translator ring.

Every time they say "god" and "jesus", and all that other stuff, just translate it for yourself :
they prolly just mean, anyhoo :
god = the best that is in us
jesus = the best that was in him
heaven = authentic existence

What's important to them, and maybe to you, is that you are together. That's all. Sad
The lingustics class can wait for another time.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein
Those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music - Friedrich Nietzsche
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like Bucky Ball's post
17-06-2012, 07:58 PM
RE: Heading to a funeral (full of theists)
I'm sorry you lost your Uncle, Elemnts, it might be a stressful time for you but it will be a stressful time for the rest of the people who are feeling the same loss. Just go with that - everyone lost this dead guy, and everyone is there for that reason. Also keep in mind some people exhibit loss in very different ways. You are there to say goodbye to your loved one.
Time to just let go of other peoples' weird stuff, you've got your own to think about.

Again, I'm sorry for your loss, especially if you were close to your Uncle. Shy

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like kim's post
17-06-2012, 08:07 PM
RE: Heading to a funeral (full of theists)
I agree with most of the above. This is not the time to be confrontational. If you hear someone spouting the usual b.s. like "He's in a better place," smile slightly and respond with something you can honestly say, like "I'm glad his suffering is over" or "I have so many good memories of him" or whatever is appropriate to the situation.

Just one thing: You can attend the funeral without compromising your convictions. Think of it as a ceremony from another culture that you're respectfully observing without necessarily participating in fully. For example, if at some point in the service everyone is supposed to say the Lord's Prayer, and you don't believe in it, you do not have to say it. Sit there or stand there quietly and respectfully, with your mouth closed. Chances are no one will notice, and if they do, they're not going to ask you why you're not saying the words.

Religious disputes are like arguments in a madhouse over which inmate really is Napoleon.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes cufflink's post
18-06-2012, 04:18 AM
RE: Heading to a funeral (full of theists)
Oh and I'd not bring up anything direct Smile I just know that people have little things that give away if their uncomfortable, disagree, or otherwise things like that that others pick up on--and I figure even if I don't say anything, my hesitations, expressions or movements that I can't stop will give away a lot!

Like even if someone were to say "he's in heaven now", even the thought causes slight movements I can't prevent that would give something away.

Thanks all, oh, and I'm off now for the 10 hour round trip drive.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
18-06-2012, 04:30 AM
RE: Heading to a funeral (full of theists)
Tip: focus on people's grief not on the theistic blahblah.
The visitors there will be flocking together in search of meaning and comfort. Don't dissapoint them.

If you are able, this would be a good time to get to know yourself and your own personal position on the purpose of death and suffering.

PS: A collection of treads about atheists and death can be found here

Observer

Agnostic atheist
Secular humanist
Emotional rationalist
Disclaimer: Don’t mix the personal opinion above with the absolute and objective truth. Remember to think for yourself. Thank you.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Observer's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: