Hedging Your Bet
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12-12-2011, 01:27 AM
Hedging Your Bet
Did you ever get to watch those cool, old 70's Rapture movies that scared the sh#t out of you because you didn't want to get guillotined by the Anti-Christ?

Part of me thought it would be cool to be the grizzled old codger that comes out of the hills to save the apostates that now want to turn to Jesus after the rapture and before his "real" return. I'd be the former ex-pastor who knew about this Revelations crap, but turned his back on it. Until that fateful moment when all the Christians disappeared. Then I'd take up my Bible in one hand and an AK in the other and wage Jihad upon the minions of the Anti-Christ.

But I digress...
I opened this thread because I am concerned about you, Brethrens and Sistrens. It's always good to be on the safe side. So just in case the A-Team is wrong and the C-Team is right about this Crapture stuff, then I hope you will consider signing up for a Rapture Letter to explain to you what happened. Don't get Left Behind...the second time!

The Rapture Letters


Brilliant!!! Wish I had thought of this:




Forewarned is Forearmed, my friends.




It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
~Izel
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12-12-2011, 08:14 AM
RE: Hedging Your Bet
That first video was pretty dang funny lol.

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12-12-2011, 08:22 AM
RE: Hedging Your Bet
lol I grew up with those movies. In fact, I think my mom still has the tapes.

It scared the crap out of my brother and me.

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12-12-2011, 08:30 AM
RE: Hedging Your Bet
1st vid was cool...

got bored on the 2nd one and didn't bother to finish it

Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. -- Voltaire
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12-12-2011, 09:33 AM
RE: Hedging Your Bet
(12-12-2011 08:30 AM)ddrew Wrote:  1st vid was cool...

got bored on the 2nd one and didn't bother to finish it

Yeah, me too. It's boring now...but after the rapture, you'll now have a place to come back to for information.

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
~Izel
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12-12-2011, 10:56 AM
RE: Hedging Your Bet
People please! I will be sure to tell everyone in advance when I plan to cause the rapture. It's not going to be out of the blue like the last couple of times. Also I plan to make the next one be a bit more "spectacular". I understand your confusion and doubts and have already taken it all into consideration. Just a heads up however. Religious or not, everyone is going to feel the full extent and "fun" of the rapture.
So please pack accordingly.

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12-12-2011, 12:06 PM
RE: Hedging Your Bet
(12-12-2011 01:27 AM)Erxomai Wrote:  Brilliant!!! Wish I had thought of this:

I visited the website, because I was so sure that they must be Poes. But the FAQ's does answer the question "Is this a real service?" and their contact information is real.

The question they don't address is "what if dog Jesus returns a second time before human Jesus does?" and "is there a human care service for that?"

I'm sorry, my dog asked me to ask that. He's very concerned about me.

My girlfriend is mad at me. Perhaps I shouldn't have tried cooking a stick in her non-stick pan.
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12-12-2011, 01:37 PM
RE: Hedging Your Bet
I've seen a few of the rapture movies and can't help but laugh every time. They just show how secretly the christians (behind the videos at least) seem to think we are all insane and just waiting for the good christians to leave before we wreak havoc on the world and mass riot.
Yes christians as soon as you are gone we will all go bonkers.

Also aren't we supposed to be caught up in the final fight between heaven and hell somehow? Wouldn't that kind of throw a wrench in the rioting or something?

"I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments." -Jim Morrison
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12-12-2011, 03:52 PM
RE: Hedging Your Bet
If we can accept as canon the movie, "All Dogs Go to Heaven," then I think this is a partial scam as it appears likely dogs will be raptured as well.

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
~Izel
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