Hello, - I recently deconverted
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27-03-2017, 05:57 AM
Hello, - I recently deconverted
Hi,
I wanted to come on here and be able to talk to some people. I have recently deconverted, and it is causing me mental anguish. I don't have anyone I can talk to about it and I'm hoping to get a little late relief here.

I was raised in a very Christian home. I was homeschooled. My father was VERY into creation. My school curriculum was abeka - which is a Baptist product. My parents led me in the sinners prayer at age 3 (I of course don't recall this). At a young age (probably around 5 I don't remember) they prayed with me to speak in tongues (I remember starting to say gibberish as I had heard them sound when they did). We had family Bible studies and devotions most mornings.

The church we went to from 6th grade and up had a course that had an "apologetic" slant. They would talk about worldviews and relative truth and blah blah, standard brainwashing stuff...

So what started me down this road was probably potholer54. I started realizing I had been lies to and it made me angry, but I didn't question my belief in God, I just came to accept evolution and didn't bother thinking about the details much. I went through a divorce around that time as well and I don't think that was an issue, but I remember crying my eyes out asking God to do something and as usual feeling like I was praying to a brick wall.

What really started changing how I thought about things was the "Trinities" podcast and the "Rethinking Hell" podcast. Trinities was introducing me to philosophy and logical fallacies and reasoning. I realized that those making claims about the Trinity and hell were just making it up, and they were such dogmatic topics I couldn't even talk about that to anyone I knew, though I hinted at it with my girlfriend for a bit.

Eventually I realized it was ALL made up and was watching theist vs atheist debates constantly, listening to Hitchens, Harris, Dawkins, Dennett, etc... I was watching atheist experience and street epistemology channels, and Non-stamp collecter (NSC, WOW!), Aronra, and on and on. I was always looking for a valid argument from theists but I haven't come across any yet.

The hardest thing for me was coming to grips with my own mortality, but it is getting easier. I had a dream someone shot me in the head and everything went dark, empty, it was over.

Ok, I guess this shouldn't be overly long. Thank you for taking the time to read all this!
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27-03-2017, 06:23 AM
RE: Hello, - I recently deconverted
Hello!

Hug

Heart
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27-03-2017, 06:44 AM
RE: Hello, - I recently deconverted
Greetings!

Help for the living. Hope for the dead. ~ R.G. Ingersoll

Freedom offers opportunity. Opportunity confers responsibility. Responsibility to use the freedom we enjoy wisely, honestly and humanely. ~ Noam Chomsky
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27-03-2017, 06:59 AM
RE: Hello, - I recently deconverted
Welcome!

“The first duty of a man is to think for himself” ― José Martí
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27-03-2017, 07:03 AM
RE: Hello, - I recently deconverted
Welcome.

The first revolt is against the supreme tyranny of theology, of the phantom of God. As long as we have a master in heaven, we will be slaves on earth.

Mikhail Bakunin.
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27-03-2017, 07:07 AM
RE: Hello, - I recently deconverted
Welcome!

I can only speak as an Atheist who's always been an atheist, but morality for me makes life 100% more interesting. Think about it. I think that if you believe in an afterlife, you can started "coasting" through life at times as this life only really leads to the next. But, once you accept this is the only life we have which in theory could end at any second, you now have a responsibility to yourself to do as much as you can, whilst you can.

See the world, study favourite topics, talk to people etc., I mean the list is endless, but make a go of it whilst you can. I'm not a "dream therapist" or whatever, but apparently dreams to relate to what you subconsciously think of, maybe this dream is telling "your life could be over tomorrow, do something with yourself!".

Anyways, welcome to Atheism. We don't offer anything here other that the chance to learn for yourself about literally everything.

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27-03-2017, 07:19 AM (This post was last modified: 27-03-2017 07:28 AM by Gerry.)
RE: Hello, - I recently deconverted
Thanks everyone

Edit- ah! I wrote out a whole paragraph and it didn't post. (I think the emoji I put in screwed it up. I'll retype it.

OakTree,

I am starting to see what you're saying. I think religion caused me to "coast" and not take things seriously. For example, when my first child was being born, my wife (at the time) got preeclampsia and they had to do an emergency cesarean. Afterward he was in an incubator and at the ICU for weeks. The whole time after it started, I wasn't concerned though she was in enormous pain, and I didn't feel worried or even feel my pulse racing when they took her back for surgery. I just thought "God is in control, I have faith everything will be fine". It wasn't until I saw my son in a plastic box with wires all over him and a tube going inside him that I became overwhelmed and broke down.
That is one example and I can think of many more situations that I didn't take seriously​ and took a back seat mentally.
I don't want to love like that anymore, I want to FEEL and experience this life I have while I'm living it. I think I would be a better person for it.
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27-03-2017, 08:41 AM
RE: Hello, - I recently deconverted
Interesting story! Welcome!
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27-03-2017, 10:26 AM
RE: Hello, - I recently deconverted
Hi Gerry - after everything you've written, you seem to have a very human outlook. It's good to know you see yourself and your experience positively. Thumbsup

Welcome to the forum. Smile

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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27-03-2017, 10:32 AM
RE: Hello, - I recently deconverted
Quote:I had a dream someone shot me in the head and everything went dark, empty, it was over.


Probably some jesus-freak NRA member. Welcome aboard. Speak freely. Most of us are unarmed.

Atheism is NOT a Religion. It's A Personal Relationship With Reality!
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