Hello People of the forum I have a bit of a problem
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05-10-2014, 12:56 AM
Hello People of the forum I have a bit of a problem
Um hello I'm Yoba and I'm having some problems with my family.

For a long time my family were Muslims and then when I was around 8 we stopped practicing.
Then when i turned 10-11 my mother out of the blue says were Muslim again and we need to practice, So she basically forces us all to practice and everything I've never really like'ed it and there are many things I disprove about it and religion greatly hence why I'm atheist.

The problems is when I turned 13 she started listening to this website called sunnah followers and they apparently back everything up with the Quran and sunnah so she whole heartily believes everything they say.

Thats when she really started enforcing everything and me being the oldest male she been preety hard on me.
Then one day when i was 14 she has a sit down with me and my siblings and ask us if were happy with are current way of life and when I told he the truth about my feeling about haw I think she was forcing me to participate in the religion she says ok.

Then a few hours later we have a family meeting my siblings lied to her and said they were ok with it while I told the truth and she starts crying and making me feel bad and says she never forced us to practice and my siblings also star berating me on how I told the truth.

So then she e-mail the sunnah follers sight and ask them what she should do and they tell her she should force me o practice witch of course she did, she even showed me the e-mail.
It was so infuriating so see how she claims how she never forced us to practice but then dose makes me feel bad about it and basically says she going to force me to practice for my own flipping good.

So now I'm 16 soon to turn 17 I've been doing the beer minimum when it comes to practicing and don't ever practice when she not around.
I feel so restricted because I have no friends and many of the things I used to do like listening to music I'm now allowed to do anymore were not even allowed to celebrate our birthdays because it a form of worship apparently.

I have been keeping a smile on my face pretending to be the perfect Muslim son but now I'm slowly starting to break and I have know one to turn to not even my other family members.

It is getting hard and harder not to tell her I'm atheist and that I'm also bi-sexual which is a big no no because it is a major sin to her and she would cut ties between her, my siblings and me or try to for me to worship some how or send me to got live with my aunt who I do not particularly like because she pretty cruel to me and her own children something that will increase if I come out.

Now I'm stuck and I really don't know what to do I don't have a job even though I'm lucking for one and I'm trying to hold out until I'm 18 and can move out on my own but I'm so close to my breaking point that it hurts any advice would help. ~ Yoba
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05-10-2014, 04:11 AM (This post was last modified: 05-10-2014 04:20 AM by Free Thought.)
RE: Hello People of the forum I have a bit of a problem
Welcome to the forum Yoba!

Truly I am sorry for your circumstances, but unfortunately we had vastly different experience so I'm not sure what advice I can give you. Especially since I am unaware of your location and as such, your risk.
If I were you, I would start using this forum as an outlet; bide your time until you can escape, as it were. In the meantime vent on the forum to keep yourself sane, I can assure you that you will in all likelihood find a good number of sympathetic and intelligent people willing to read and provide some counsel. But again, I've never remotely been in your shoes.

The people closely associated with the namesake of female canines are suffering from a nondescript form of lunacy.
"Anti-environmentalism is like standing in front of a forest and going 'quick kill them they're coming right for us!'" - Jake Farr-Wharton, The Imaginary Friend Show.
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05-10-2014, 04:19 AM
RE: Hello People of the forum I have a bit of a problem
Welcome! Like Free Thought said, try to bide your time! I really can't imagine what it's like to be in your situation but I can tell it sucks. I just don't see anything good coming from outing yourself to your mother anytime soon, so find some like minds (like us here!) and do your best not to lose it with your family. If you lash out or start yelling angrily, it's not going to end well. You'll end up looking like a pouty child, not a rational thinker. Good luck!

Atheism is the only way to truly be free from sin.
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05-10-2014, 05:04 AM
RE: Hello People of the forum I have a bit of a problem
Hello there. Yes it does seem like a tough situation perhaps it is best to wait it out, especially if you're in a region that is very strict about it's practices. The only word of advice I have is to well..for security reasons, clear your internet history when you visit the forum or while visiting other similar sites. Just the word "atheist" gets an unjustly bad reputation and also don't have your web browser save your user name or password.
You'll find a large community with us. You'll learn, you'll laugh, and the folks are great around here and can be very supportive if a bit silly..you'll seeTongue
Welcome

"I don't have to have faith, I have experience." Joseph Campbell
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05-10-2014, 07:16 AM
RE: Hello People of the forum I have a bit of a problem
Almost 17 - one more year and you'll be 18.

One more year is all, one more year.... hang in there.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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05-10-2014, 07:27 AM
RE: Hello People of the forum I have a bit of a problem
I hate to say this, but until you are 18 you are stuck. I would simply not make religion an issue with them, stay in school, don't get in trouble, and if you need to vent do so where you know it is safe when you can, like here.

You are not the only teen going through something like this. There are teens who have Christian parents who either they cant tell them, and or have told them and those parents have freaked out.

My younger sister is an adult and came out as an atheist 2 years ago. She caught lots of crap from our family even as an adult. But she is an adult so because she was out on her own and she had me as an atheist to talk to she was able to deal with it.

You cannot change your family, but it will get better long term. Just know it will not always be like this for you and you will be on your own.

If you have not read it "Infidel" by Ayaan Hersi Ali is her story about her escape from Islam. You are not the only one, and not even the only religion, to be stuck where you are at with family members who do not understand. But you are not alone, ever. It will get better.

Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37
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05-10-2014, 12:04 PM
RE: Hello People of the forum I have a bit of a problem
Hi Yoba,

My name is Steven, but most people here call me A2 or any variation thereof (You are more than welcome to call me Steve or A2, as well.) I am actually a bit older than you (17, about to turn 18 in April of next year), but I can deeply relate to what you are writing about. My parents have gone through periods of time where they have forced me to practice, but eventually, due to circumstances, I have always managed to flip it back to me being openly atheist.

Not too long ago, I wrote an article on Coming Out as Teenage Atheist , and while its original intention is to advise those who haven't quite come out, I think the message of 'Don't do anything that might make life difficult' is a very important message to those who are still held, by law, to their parents. I am still held by the legal bounds as well, but as soon as I am not, I am going to practice my right of being free from religion (As is guaranteed by my current country of residence). I suggest that you too should wait it out.

Now, don't look so hopeless, while you may have to wait it out, that is by no means me telling you to completely act like a Muslim. Rather, I advocate for you to get an outlet to which you can safely voice your beliefs about the religion, or anything else in general. Its what this forum was/is for me. A place where I can be who I truly am. I hope that this place can be that for you too.

Here, we have a great many users with different opinions and perspectives on things. I am sure your Muslim experience could help benefit the over-all knowledge base of the forum. Speaking of knowledge, would you consider taking a look at the Atheist/Agnostic Informational Resource Library? You can help make this information more public, as well as possibly add onto the resources that you have stumbled across that might help educate others on the particulars of the Muslim faith (A lot of this forum is woefully Christian centered) and the objections to that faith.

We have tons of awesome topics that I feel you could really enrich and add onto. Just to give you a few examples from my own works: I have written about the afterlife (Wrote it for my school, lets not talk about what I got on it), suffering, and about a Good God. I have even written a letter to Jesus. And this is only my work. there are tons of good posts on a many of different subjects, all of which could only be enriched by the adding of your perspective.

This is a place where people are usually open minded, and willing to take a thought to your problems and help you come to the logical conclusion. I hope that you get as much out of this forum as I a currently getting, and that you fall in love with all of the unique and awesome people that permeate this little slice of cyberspace.

If you need anyone to talk to on issues of a teenage atheist nature, please know that you can always talk to me. It is something I am very sensitive to, and I hope that you have an enlightened stay here.

-Steven

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06-10-2014, 02:29 PM
RE: Hello People of the forum I have a bit of a problem
I was raised Mormon myself. My mind is too logical to believe in the stories any religion passes as "scripture". I have studied the bible, book of mormon, some Hindu, Buddhism, and even read "The satanic bible". All have the same rules. Don't kill, steal, hurt others (unless they hurt you or small children.. Thankyou Satanism..) Except for the rules and a few other examples on how to be good humans they are all the same. I believe humanity is evolving past the need for a mental father figure. Its time to move out of Gods house and start taking responsibility for the world we live in. I'm 35 and I still haven't told my family that I don't believe in their God. Most of them believe that an Atheist is just as bad as a terrorist! Maybe we should start a global "coming out day" lol
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06-10-2014, 02:38 PM
RE: Hello People of the forum I have a bit of a problem
FYI - to the newbies.

This section is a specifically designated 'teen' area.

(or as us oldies often refer to it ... a play pen ... or ... quarantine).

In other words, there's nothing technically stopping over-19s posted here other than a healthy fear of contamination and...

... politeness.

Let the kids have some space, please.

Thanks.

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06-10-2014, 08:11 PM
RE: Hello People of the forum I have a bit of a problem
Hey guys Thank you for the support and advice I'll try to hold out I also live in Ohio but my mother recently got married and whats to move us to Africa to live with her new husband who to is Muslim. I am obviously against this seeing that I dont what to be stuck in Africa when I come out and I refuse to wait another year after this one.
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