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22-03-2017, 04:09 AM
RE: Hello again
(22-03-2017 03:52 AM)RocketSurgeon76 Wrote:  You will find before long that it's nicer to be around people who don't spend their time worrying about magical woo-woo, and that your social ties are just as strong as what you're now missing. Smile

Mostly virtual though. Gwynnite is something I can talk about. Atheism, not so much. Smartass

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22-03-2017, 05:25 AM
RE: Hello again
One option would be to try to find a new social group, even if it is not oriented around atheism. Maybe a secular charity or volunteer work of some kind. Something that is not oriented around religion and where you can be yourself.

Help for the living. Hope for the dead. ~ R.G. Ingersoll

Freedom offers opportunity. Opportunity confers responsibility. Responsibility to use the freedom we enjoy wisely, honestly and humanely. ~ Noam Chomsky
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22-03-2017, 09:12 AM
RE: Hello again
Hello again, yourself. Welcome back. Looks like you've gotten good advice, so far. I still see some loss of community in my life after leaving the RCC 12 YA. Now, when I go to a church (marryin' or buryin') I just look at it and wonder how people can believe in it.
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22-03-2017, 09:27 AM
RE: Hello again
Welcome back! I think it can be normal to miss something that was a part of your life for so long. If you also got a sense of community (friends/family belong to the church) from it, it can also be hard.

I know some will disagree with me, but I am an atheist who goes to church on occasion (mostly holidays) since most of my friends/family are believers. I don't have any problems with it. To me, it's no different than if someone stood at a pulpit and read excerpts from Harry Potter.

I read the Bible as an atheist. I also read other religious works-especially from Hinduism. I just find it interesting.

If you feel like you want to go to church and it won't cause you stress or anxiety or trigger you in some way, then by all means go. Being an atheist means you get the freedom to do whatever the fuck you want Wink

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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22-03-2017, 09:46 AM
RE: Hello again
It's not unusual to miss your church. It's a community from the ground up. You have friends- (close friends, best friends, distant friends, groups of friends, and more), family, advisers, leaders, support networks, events, meetings, uplifting messages, etc. Of course you could miss that. There's so much a church community can offer that is hard to find elsewhere. You can have all of those things as an atheist outside the church, but it's a piece-meal operation. You have to do all the legwork yourself, and that sucks.

Plus, there are other things you might miss. For me, I didn't miss the church- because it was more a burden for me than anything else. I did miss some friends, but they were long gone regardless. What I really missed was the comfort and confidence in "knowing" that I have eternal life and that I would be in heaven (before I realized how ultimately confining that sounds). I missed that shiver and chill- that feeling you get when worshiping. When you trick your brain into a natural high that people think is the holy spirit. I missed knowing that bad people will get their due judgement whether they get it here on earth or after they die.

There's lots of odd things to miss outside of the social aspects. But eventually your brain catches up to them and can break down and dissolve the arguments that draw you to them.

It takes time to learn to deal with that new reality with the clarity that comes with not being bound to looking at the work through a lens that's a thousand years past its prime.
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22-03-2017, 09:53 AM
RE: Hello again
(22-03-2017 02:20 AM)Jewelarcher Wrote:  It has been a while, so Hello Smile
I just wanted to reach out, for some.. advice, input.. words.
I wanted this post here because, I dont know where it will go.

It has been several months since I have given up my religion. It was super easy once I just let go. It almost feels like now, I am in a relationship that I rushed. Easy as cake at first, now.. I have some feelings.
Now the point I am at.. I miss the church, my old church.. before the preacher stepped down. I miss the fellowship and the studies.
I find myself a lot getting talked to about God.. the security guard at work mentioned something to me about God. Strange.. but he creeps me out anyway.
If I hear someone doubting God, or their beliefs.. I lend a bit of what I know out to help them. I kind of miss being that person too. I dont give them the atheist point of view, I give them the one they know, just to help them out a bit.

I dont know if this is a normal thing? Should I be missing the church?

Thanks for reading Heart

I feel being an atheist is right for me and I doubt I will ever go back but I do miss the theatre and pageantry and music that high Anglican (Episcopalian) church's do so well.
Its perfectly normal to miss aspects of something that was a large part of your life.
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22-03-2017, 11:56 AM
RE: Hello again
Thanks guys Heart
I feel like you all are right. I did have a lot of participation in the church. The times spent there were not all bad, mostly really fun. We had a tiny group who knew each other. I remember when it started to split, new people started coming back and it just didnt feel right. I think the split is what eventually gave me the final push I needed though to find my way out of the religion.

I can say, since the last time I was here.. my stress has gone down A LOT. I no longer have the anxiety and the triggers have kinda faded away. I mostly feel pretty chill. It has been a much better time for me Big Grin
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22-03-2017, 12:02 PM
RE: Hello again
(22-03-2017 11:56 AM)Jewelarcher Wrote:  Thanks guys Heart
I feel like you all are right. I did have a lot of participation in the church. The times spent there were not all bad, mostly really fun. We had a tiny group who knew each other. I remember when it started to split, new people started coming back and it just didnt feel right. I think the split is what eventually gave me the final push I needed though to find my way out of the religion.

I can say, since the last time I was here.. my stress has gone down A LOT. I no longer have the anxiety and the triggers have kinda faded away. I mostly feel pretty chill. It has been a much better time for me Big Grin

I'm glad to hear that! It's amazing how much weight is taken off your shoulders when you realize that you aren't fighting some sinful nature that is going to get you sent to hell if you aren't constantly attending to your faith. Smile

You seem like a good and well-grounded person. I'm glad you're back, and I hope you continue to thrive! Hug
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22-03-2017, 02:51 PM
RE: Hello again
(22-03-2017 12:02 PM)Emma Wrote:  
(22-03-2017 11:56 AM)Jewelarcher Wrote:  Thanks guys Heart
I feel like you all are right. I did have a lot of participation in the church. The times spent there were not all bad, mostly really fun. We had a tiny group who knew each other. I remember when it started to split, new people started coming back and it just didnt feel right. I think the split is what eventually gave me the final push I needed though to find my way out of the religion.

I can say, since the last time I was here.. my stress has gone down A LOT. I no longer have the anxiety and the triggers have kinda faded away. I mostly feel pretty chill. It has been a much better time for me Big Grin

I'm glad to hear that! It's amazing how much weight is taken off your shoulders when you realize that you aren't fighting some sinful nature that is going to get you sent to hell if you aren't constantly attending to your faith. Smile

You seem like a good and well-grounded person. I'm glad you're back, and I hope you continue to thrive! Hug

Thank you. I try my best lol. You are right, it took a lot of time trying to reverse the religion. Once I finally got it, with the support and tough love here, life got much simpler for me.
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22-03-2017, 03:13 PM
RE: Hello again
Welcome back. Shy

I'm glad TTA's tough love eventually made life much simpler for ya! Big Grin

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