Hello again
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22-03-2017, 08:41 PM
RE: Hello again
(22-03-2017 03:13 PM)TheGulegon Wrote:  Welcome back. Shy

I'm glad TTA's tough love eventually made life much simpler for ya! Big Grin

Haha it was get tough or get in trouble. I can not remember who it was, but in one of my older posts i felt like I was being scolded. I had to quickly throw my fears away and toughen up cause that was scary lol! Ever since don't shit scare me Big Grin
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22-03-2017, 11:18 PM
RE: Hello again
(22-03-2017 08:41 PM)Jewelarcher Wrote:  
(22-03-2017 03:13 PM)TheGulegon Wrote:  Welcome back. Shy

I'm glad TTA's tough love eventually made life much simpler for ya! Big Grin

Haha it was get tough or get in trouble. I can not remember who it was, but in one of my older posts i felt like I was being scolded. I had to quickly throw my fears away and toughen up cause that was scary lol! Ever since don't shit scare me Big Grin

And don't you forget it Tongue

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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22-03-2017, 11:49 PM
RE: Hello again
(22-03-2017 11:18 PM)morondog Wrote:  
(22-03-2017 08:41 PM)Jewelarcher Wrote:  Haha it was get tough or get in trouble. I can not remember who it was, but in one of my older posts i felt like I was being scolded. I had to quickly throw my fears away and toughen up cause that was scary lol! Ever since don't shit scare me Big Grin

And don't you forget it Tongue

lol never have! too scared to forget lmoa. #NEWFEARBig Grin
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23-03-2017, 02:18 PM
RE: Hello again
Sorry we here can only be virtual community for you Hug

"I believe that while not all people are essentially good, most are trying" - Adam Savage
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28-03-2017, 06:54 AM
RE: Hello again
(22-03-2017 02:20 AM)Jewelarcher Wrote:  I don't know if this is a normal thing?
Not just normal, but perfectly normal, especially if you're fairly social.

There is nothing as pervasive and ubiquitous as church for those seeking a sense of community. It is not impossible to find substitutes, but it is not easy, either. To the point that sometimes unbelievers / doubters just go to church and play-act their way through it to get the "feels" they need.

I even seriously explored a Unitarian-Universalist "church" in my area. I put church in scare-quotes because since they don't require implicit or explicit acceptance of any creed, and will take you even if you openly are atheist, they are really a post-Christian denomination that has been considered heretical by mainline Christianity since the early 1960s when they were formed. I thought this might result in some pleasant hanging out with at least semi-like-minded people and possibly someday when I'm old and fall down the stairs and break my hip, someone might notice and even bring me hot chicken soup.

Alas, it's like any other organization, full of human beings ... who exhibit the same infighting, dogmatism, enforcement of stupid shibboleths, etc., that I remember from my days as a believer. Eventually I realized that my introverted, modest socialization needs were better met in other ways. I was mostly just doing what I felt I was "supposed" to do rather than what I actually need to do. Which is to have a few acquaintances and light casual activities, a little basic human contact on a regular basis but nothing that committed and structured.

Your mileage may vary. You'll figure it out if you don't obsess about how things "should" be, but rather, focus on what your actual needs are. If you don't know yourself that well yet, and if you're young you may well not, then just be patient and observant until you do. You won't disappear or fall into some hole you can't get out of.
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28-03-2017, 07:34 AM
RE: Hello again
Not long ago my favorite aunt died and for the first time in a long time I attended a Catholic mass. As I sat in the pew along with my family and friends and heard all these platitudes about how an all-powerful benevolent being loved us and cared for us, it confirmed for me just how much we humans want such a thing.

Feeling that we are not alone, feeling protected and believing that a biological death is not the end of our consciousness is just too strong a drug for most to “kick the habit” It creates a dependency that rivals the most addictive of drugs. When addicted early enough in life most can never “get clean” and eventually we become a pusher and addict our own children.

The church also provides a social environment like few other places do or can. The sense of community is very powerful, we humans have evolved within tight groups and leaving it can be very traumatic. I sincerely think that TTA provides such a virtual community and in my opinion it is the best part about it.

(except for maybe troll bashing)

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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28-03-2017, 09:01 AM
RE: Hello again
(28-03-2017 06:54 AM)mordant Wrote:  Eventually I realized that my introverted, modest socialization needs were better met in other ways.

If you are an introvert like I am, you typically try to stay away from crowds of people anyway. Internet forums are a real boon to people like me for this reason. I can address certain individuals about individual points without having to search through crowds to find them.

Unsure
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28-03-2017, 03:47 PM
RE: Hello again
(28-03-2017 06:54 AM)mordant Wrote:  
(22-03-2017 02:20 AM)Jewelarcher Wrote:  I don't know if this is a normal thing?
Not just normal, but perfectly normal, especially if you're fairly social.

There is nothing as pervasive and ubiquitous as church for those seeking a sense of community. It is not impossible to find substitutes, but it is not easy, either. To the point that sometimes unbelievers / doubters just go to church and play-act their way through it to get the "feels" they need.

I even seriously explored a Unitarian-Universalist "church" in my area. I put church in scare-quotes because since they don't require implicit or explicit acceptance of any creed, and will take you even if you openly are atheist, they are really a post-Christian denomination that has been considered heretical by mainline Christianity since the early 1960s when they were formed. I thought this might result in some pleasant hanging out with at least semi-like-minded people and possibly someday when I'm old and fall down the stairs and break my hip, someone might notice and even bring me hot chicken soup.

Alas, it's like any other organization, full of human beings ... who exhibit the same infighting, dogmatism, enforcement of stupid shibboleths, etc., that I remember from my days as a believer. Eventually I realized that my introverted, modest socialization needs were better met in other ways. I was mostly just doing what I felt I was "supposed" to do rather than what I actually need to do. Which is to have a few acquaintances and light casual activities, a little basic human contact on a regular basis but nothing that committed and structured.

Your mileage may vary. You'll figure it out if you don't obsess about how things "should" be, but rather, focus on what your actual needs are. If you don't know yourself that well yet, and if you're young you may well not, then just be patient and observant until you do. You won't disappear or fall into some hole you can't get out of.

Church was a huge thing for me, when I left I felt okay for a while. I don't know how long it's been since I left but I just recently started missing it. I did make a few friends at my new job and we plan girls nights at least once a month. That helps me a lot. I feel the best though when my family does birthday parties and we all get together. My sisters are my favorite people.
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