Hello from Illinois
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04-11-2017, 05:28 PM
Hello from Illinois
Hey all! It's been ages since I've used a forum. I found this podcast about a month or two ago and finally decided to tap into its other resources.

I figure this is a nice way to explain how I became an atheist.

I became a christian when I was around 11 years old, so well past the age of reason. When I first started going to church, everything started out alright, but I quickly noticed several contradictions that bothered me a lot... like dinosaurs and how they fit into the biblical canon, or why God no longer did miracles, or why the people at my church were such hypocrites, or why god no longer talked to anyone nowadays, and one thing especially, the unforgivable sins.

It was the concept of unforgivable sins that really had a massive impact on my life for years and years to come. I developed OCD like symptoms and general anxiety over the thought of it because I was terrified of sinning just by thinking something terrible and losing God forever, condemned to spend eternity in hell. It drove me to do my own research. I began researching genesis and if there was any truth to the stories and I eventually came across the infamous "Answers in Genesis" website where I did a lot of reading. All of this research just led me to doubt even more. And it didn't ease my anxiety/OCD which was starting to affect my day to day life, making me have memory loss, suffer from anxiety episodes, etc... It wasn't until I started going to college that things started getting better for me.

The best way I can describe my losing faith is to describe it like the slow crumbling of an infrastructure until one day it just finally gives and all comes crashing down. That's what it was like for me. One day I very angerly shouted "F*** GOD, IF HES SO GOOD THEN WHY IS MY LIFE STILL SUCH S***?!? WHY DO PEOPLE WHO ARE SO TERRIBLE HAVE IT SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME?!? I'M SICK OF THIS."

Then I spent a few months just soaking it all in. Realizing that without God, I no longer had to worry about sin. I no longer had to worry about my own thoughts, I could think whatever the hell I wanted. It was bliss. I felt truly free to live and be myself again. And best of all, my anxiety started going away.

I eventually started doing some reading, like The God Delusion, since I had heard so much vitriol towards Richard Dawkins on AiG (and just to spite them). And then I picked up Letter to a Christian Nation by Sam Harris, and those two books (amongst several Krauss/Hitchens/Dennett videos) definitely pushed me to where I am today.

And I gotta say, I'm much happier now than I've ever been in my life.
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04-11-2017, 05:59 PM
RE: Hello from Illinois
Cool pic on the other thread, you and L Krauss. Howdy and welcome. I also enjoy stuff from the four...err, three...Horsemen.

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04-11-2017, 06:04 PM
RE: Hello from Illinois
"The mariner does not pray for wind. He learns to sail." (Gustav Lindborg) Consider
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04-11-2017, 06:07 PM
RE: Hello from Illinois
Welcome!

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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04-11-2017, 06:13 PM
RE: Hello from Illinois
Welcome aboard! Smile

" Generally speaking, the errors in religion are dangerous; those in philosophy only ridiculous."
David Hume
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04-11-2017, 06:25 PM
RE: Hello from Illinois
Greetings! I run an underground railroad that smuggles people out of Illinois and into the US. Let me know if you need help.

Smartass
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04-11-2017, 07:01 PM
RE: Hello from Illinois
Welcome!
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04-11-2017, 07:15 PM
RE: Hello from Illinois
Welcome!


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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04-11-2017, 11:10 PM
RE: Hello from Illinois
G'day mate, and welcome to the forums. Smile

I'm a creationist... I believe that man created God.
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04-11-2017, 11:14 PM
RE: Hello from Illinois
Hello! Big Grin
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