Hello from a Christian Atheist :)
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04-05-2015, 08:24 PM
Hello from a Christian Atheist :)
Hi everyone. Smile

I used to be a devoted believer for about one third of my life (I'm 21 now). It wasn't due to indoctrination by my parents or family, because they're mostly 'traditional believers' or atheists. It was my decision to read the New Testament, to go to religious education, to attend the church service every week, to pray every morning/before sleeping and to fast. I started reading books about theology (Church Fathers and modern theologians as well) and history of Christianity. I even wanted to study theology and to become a priest one day. I also enjoyed debating with atheists/sceptics on the matters of doctrine, religion and science, religion and human rights, biblical exegesis etc.

Then, when I was 17, I seriously started questioning my faith: whether it is reasonable to be a believer, what about unanswered theological questions, what about my doubts that I so desperately wanted to overcome, is there any truth in religious experiences etc. I started questioning even the very existence of God. This lasted for a couple of months and ended up with me loosing my faith completely. It was a very hard period because faith meant so much to me. My parents were also surprised for they knew how much I was devoted to faith. I just couldn't go on with it anymore. I was stuck with philosophical/religious problems in my head. This is the period from 17 to 19. In the meantime, some dilemmas have been resolved. I realised that what I thought to be a theological problem or paradox might have an answer that would help me to overcome my doubts. But although I again became open to religion, I couldn't see myself as a believer. Or at least not as a believer I used to be in the past. I still had some questions unanswered and dilemmas unresolved. That is in the root of this long-lasting confusion about my 'religious identity' and the reason why I can't say whether I'm religious or not. I know that for some people here it might sound like a joke to say that you are not able to decide if you're religious or not or that you must be some kind of idiot to say that (I don't mind, I'm not easily offended), but this is a huge personal battle for me.

Finally, that is the reason why I picked the nickname christian_atheist. Because my real name wouldn't tell you anything about me, but this nickname says lots of things. Smile
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04-05-2015, 08:28 PM
RE: Hello from a Christian Atheist :)
(04-05-2015 08:24 PM)christian_atheist Wrote:  Hi everyone. Smile

I used to be a devoted believer for about one third of my life (I'm 21 now). It wasn't due to indoctrination by my parents or family, because they're mostly 'traditional believers' or atheists. It was my decision to read the New Testament, to go to religious education, to attend the church service every week, to pray every morning/before sleeping and to fast. I started reading books about theology (Church Fathers and modern theologians as well) and history of Christianity. I even wanted to study theology and to become a priest one day. I also enjoyed debating with atheists/sceptics on the matters of doctrine, religion and science, religion and human rights, biblical exegesis etc.

Then, when I was 17, I seriously started questioning my faith: whether it is reasonable to be a believer, what about unanswered theological questions, what about my doubts that I so desperately wanted to overcome, is there any truth in religious experiences etc. I started questioning even the very existence of God. This lasted for a couple of months and ended up with me loosing my faith completely. It was a very hard period because faith meant so much to me. My parents were also surprised for they knew how much I was devoted to faith. I just couldn't go on with it anymore. I was stuck with philosophical/religious problems in my head. This is the period from 17 to 19. In the meantime, some dilemmas have been resolved. I realised that what I thought to be a theological problem or paradox might have an answer that would help me to overcome my doubts. But although I again became open to religion, I couldn't see myself as a believer. Or at least not as a believer I used to be in the past. I still had some questions unanswered and dilemmas unresolved. That is in the root of this long-lasting confusion about my 'religious identity' and the reason why I can't say whether I'm religious or not. I know that for some people here it might sound like a joke to say that you are not able to decide if you're religious or not or that you must be some kind of idiot to say that (I don't mind, I'm not easily offended), but this is a huge personal battle for me.

Finally, that is the reason why I picked the nickname christian_atheist. Because my real name wouldn't tell you anything about me, but this nickname says lots of things. Smile

Welcome, but are you a Protestant atheist or a Catholic atheist? Consider

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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04-05-2015, 08:29 PM
RE: Hello from a Christian Atheist :)
Welcome!
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04-05-2015, 08:30 PM
RE: Hello from a Christian Atheist :)
Welcome to the forum!

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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04-05-2015, 08:31 PM
RE: Hello from a Christian Atheist :)
(04-05-2015 08:28 PM)Chas Wrote:  Welcome, but are you a Protestant atheist or a Catholic atheist? Consider

Eastern Orthodox Atheist. Wink
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04-05-2015, 08:32 PM
RE: Hello from a Christian Atheist :)
I think you're just growing out of your indoctrination phase. It's not a simple matter to see what all is involved in deconversion. There's also a lot about religious experiences that's not really "owned" by religion, (it's just where so far in your life) you happen to have found some of it. I think we get it, more than you know. You may find some value in these :



Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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04-05-2015, 08:39 PM
RE: Hello from a Christian Atheist :)
Welcome aboard.

I think joining in here will help for you. I think it is important to always question or challenge your own beliefs, especially when you are at a crossroads.

Maybe one day you'll need to remove half of your user-name.. But which half? Smile

"Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too"? - Douglas Adams Bechased
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04-05-2015, 08:45 PM
RE: Hello from a Christian Atheist :)
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04-05-2015, 08:57 PM
RE: Hello from a Christian Atheist :)
(04-05-2015 08:32 PM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  I think you're just growing out of your indoctrination phase. It's not a simple matter to see what all is involved in deconversion. There's also a lot about religious experiences that's not really "owned" by religion, (it's just where so far in your life) you happen to have found some of it. I think we get it, more than you know. You may find some value in these :



Maybe partially. For example, I've never believed that I should pray to God to get into MIT. I saw it as a degradation of prayer and an act of reducing God to a button which I can press whenever I want in order for my wishes to become reality (which is a purely mechanical/magical understanding of God-man relationship).
In my opinion, God was a person, not someone who needed to serve me and my wishes. For me, prayer was a tecnique, a way of askesis that could help me transform my personality and achieve the goal: to become Christlike. Nothing more and nothing less.

But still, I will watch it to the end. Tnx. Smile
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04-05-2015, 08:59 PM
RE: Hello from a Christian Atheist :)
Welcome to the forum! Finally, someone new who isn't a religious nutjob or a total creep.

(30-03-2015 08:47 PM)Colourcraze Wrote:  IT'S THE HOLY GHOST oooOOOOOOOOOOooooooo
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