Help! Atheist + Believer. Can it work?
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08-07-2013, 04:05 AM
RE: Help! Atheist + Believer. Can it work?
(21-06-2013 12:41 PM)KidCharlemagne1962 Wrote:  As with every relationship it depends on the people involved. If you are both respectful of each other things can work. Depending on the level of theism it may never really be an issue or it could be a row almost daily.
This might be the most realistic answer.
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08-07-2013, 10:28 AM
RE: Help! Atheist + Believer. Can it work?
31yo Non-believer here married to a Catholic with 2 beautiful children. Though, I was religious through the birth of our first child. I only recently lost my religion... a little over 2 years now I think.

And since I am anonymous here, I will admit we aren't doing too hot. But it has NOTHING to do with religion. Funny aye? We are having marital problems and it has absolutely nothing to do with what other Atheists think the reason is. We still love each other dearly and are best friends. It's the chemistry that has died out that we are struggling with.

About our kids, and I know I'm gonna lose a lot of cool points with people around here for this... I got them baptized. Why you might wonder? Well, first of all, my wife is religious and I respect her. Second of all, I was baptized. Finally, I made it clear to her that I will NEVER lie to my children. That's fine with her. I guess this is more a cultural thing for her. And maybe she just wants to give them the same start the both of us had. Because neither of us came from devout families and neither of us has ever attended church regularly.

I don't agree with the more militant Atheists that I'm indoctrinating my child. Indoctrination would be preventing them from getting baptized just because I personally don't believe it. Indoctrination would be going further than the ceremony and forcing my children to attend church every week.

So I will tell you to be careful, not because she's religious, but because ANY relationship can fail. I know this and you know it better.

“We are all connected; To each other, biologically. To the earth, chemically. To the rest of the universe atomically.”

-Neil deGrasse Tyson
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08-07-2013, 04:37 PM
RE: Help! Atheist + Believer. Can it work?
(08-07-2013 10:28 AM)NoahsFarce Wrote:  About our kids, and I know I'm gonna lose a lot of cool points with people around here for this... I got them baptized. Why you might wonder?

All 4 of our now adult children were baptized in a Catholic Church. This atheist promised the Church not to interfere with their Catholic upbringing in return for being married to a Catholic in front of a Priest in a Church. Baptism was just part of the deal I made. I kept the terms of the contract. Didn't make no nevermind to my kids, they all turned out atheist anyway. Having been raised in a parochial Lutheran school for K-9, I realize that nothing is more effective at turning one into a free thinker than a rigorous religious training. Hell, just look at Bucky'sBalls. Big Grin

(08-07-2013 10:28 AM)NoahsFarce Wrote:  It's the chemistry that has died out that we are struggling with.

Not to diminish what you are going through, but after going on some 30 years now, chemistry and infatuation is for newlyweds in our experience.

(08-07-2013 10:28 AM)NoahsFarce Wrote:  We still love each other dearly and are best friends.

Companionship, on the other hand, is for life.

I am us and we is me. ... bitches.
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10-07-2013, 11:31 AM
RE: Help! Atheist + Believer. Can it work?
I agree it can work, but when it comes to the kids......its a very touchy subject and changes everything. Her family, if religious, will see you as someone that will make their grandchild burn in Hell! I don't see a way that it do not come between you two. I can see her kids and your kids arguing over who is right and someone is going to tell the other that they are going to Hell or that their views are stupid. Now what are you are her going to tell the other's child when that happens?
Jerry

I'll be needing that for squirrels and such.....
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10-07-2013, 01:22 PM
RE: Help! Atheist + Believer. Can it work?
I have this same concern. Have been with my significant other for about five years..it was different in the beginning because I wasn't so clear cut in my non belief..I actually sort of envied his faith, that he could just believe, without doubt, that someone else had the wheel and would make sure things worked out the way they should..now though, I can't help but look at him like he's crazy (or stupid) for believing. Plus I worry about the arguments we are surely in for when we start discussing what to teach our child.. So yeah, I think it definitely depends on each persons level of belief or non belief .
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