Help... I don't know what to say to my Mum
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07-11-2014, 08:06 AM
Heart Help... I don't know what to say to my Mum
Hi all, this just happened today and I really need your opinions on this. Background info: I am 22 and I've been on dialysis since I was 14. I was diagnosed with tumours in both my kidneys so I had them removed early this year. But now I have a relapse and will have to undergo surgery+chemotherapy this month, plus I have to switch from peritoneal dialysis (which I can do at home myself) to haemodialysis (which is done 3 times a week at the hospital) for some time after the surgery which is a real bummer. I know this is quite a lot to take in.

Anyway, my Mum suddenly asked me if I believed in God today and I told her no. (My family is Christian although not devout. My father does not go to church). Usually she disproves of my skepticism about religion but closes one eye. However, today she was quite serious and had a talk with me. She told me that I should believe in God so I may have a source of comfort and someone to pray/talk to, and that I have nothing to lose if I believe.

I don't know what to tell her. I love my Mum and I don't want to upset her but I'm also pretty much an agnostic atheist. I hope everyone can share your thoughts about my situation and what I could do or say to my parents. Thanks for reading. Smile
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07-11-2014, 10:35 AM
RE: Help... I don't know what to say to my Mum
This is what I told my mother. Big Grin




There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide. -Camus
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07-11-2014, 11:05 AM
RE: Help... I don't know what to say to my Mum
(07-11-2014 08:06 AM)Chartreuse Wrote:  Hi all, this just happened today and I really need your opinions on this. Background info: I am 22 and I've been on dialysis since I was 14. I was diagnosed with tumours in both my kidneys so I had them removed early this year. But now I have a relapse and will have to undergo surgery+chemotherapy this month, plus I have to switch from peritoneal dialysis (which I can do at home myself) to haemodialysis (which is done 3 times a week at the hospital) for some time after the surgery which is a real bummer. I know this is quite a lot to take in.

Anyway, my Mum suddenly asked me if I believed in God today and I told her no. (My family is Christian although not devout. My father does not go to church). Usually she disproves of my skepticism about religion but closes one eye. However, today she was quite serious and had a talk with me. She told me that I should believe in God so I may have a source of comfort and someone to pray/talk to, and that I have nothing to lose if I believe.

I don't know what to tell her. I love my Mum and I don't want to upset her but I'm also pretty much an agnostic atheist. I hope everyone can share your thoughts about my situation and what I could do or say to my parents. Thanks for reading. Smile

She is worried about you not having a support system. Show her some things that motivate you and keep you happy...

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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07-11-2014, 11:11 AM
RE: Help... I don't know what to say to my Mum
(07-11-2014 08:06 AM)Chartreuse Wrote:  ...
and that I have nothing to lose if I believe.
...

Pascal's Wager

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07-11-2014, 11:21 AM
RE: Help... I don't know what to say to my Mum
(07-11-2014 08:06 AM)Chartreuse Wrote:  ....
She told me that I should believe in God so I may have a source of comfort and someone to pray/talk to, and that I have nothing to lose if I believe.
....

You talk to her. You may talk to some close friends, other relatives, etc. They're real, you can shake their hands, hug them, etc. So you do have who to talk to...

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07-11-2014, 11:25 AM
RE: Help... I don't know what to say to my Mum
Chartreuse,

I certainly can't tell you what to do here, but from my weak vantage point I wonder if it's an opportunity for you to simply discuss the issues with her . . . that is if she's open to discussion and not too emotional on the topic. If your Mum is willing to listen to you and truly discuss how each of you view the topic of the supernatural it could lead to a very cool time in your lives. People who believe in god, though, typically aren't open to discussing the issue. My wife is a perfect example of this, unfortunately. Good luck with the topic of this thread, but more importantly with your treatments.
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07-11-2014, 12:06 PM
RE: Help... I don't know what to say to my Mum
Good luck with your surgery, I hope it goes well.

I feel so much, and yet I feel nothing.
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I am the wind, in the fields in which I roar. I am the water, in which I drown.
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07-11-2014, 12:10 PM
RE: Help... I don't know what to say to my Mum
show her this.





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07-11-2014, 01:35 PM
RE: Help... I don't know what to say to my Mum
First off good luck with the surgery and upcoming treatment.

I would say, your mom is scared you are going to die. Before, she looked at it like you had you whole life to "see the light and believe". Now that your medical situation has gotten worse she is scared you are going to die unsaved and go to hell. In her mind she thinks she is helping you. I really have no idea on how to proceed in discussing this with her. You can try honest, but gentle and see how it goes. IMO it is doubtful you will change her mind.
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07-11-2014, 06:06 PM (This post was last modified: 07-11-2014 06:10 PM by Takelababy.)
RE: Help... I don't know what to say to my Mum
This is an issue whereby you have to be upfront with her. She's not a child and tip toeing around her won't get things settled. If you don't clear the air, have you considered that religious people might start beating a path to your room? They seem to find joy in prosthelatizing to the sick and dying to make sure you get to heaven. I know, a neighbor does this all the time. She thinks she's helping the person go to Jesus.
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