Help design my new book cover, win a free copy! (This guy again?)
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16-11-2013, 01:46 AM
RE: Help design my new book cover, win a free copy! (This guy again?)
(16-11-2013 01:40 AM)kim Wrote:  Look at how his hair is just sort of sucked into the black hole of his belly button. Shocking

I think the most disturbing part is that Shutterstock paid this guy money. They looked at this and thought, "Yeah, I could definitely see this being a popular choice for school textbooks and corporate websites."

"Ain't got no last words to say, yellow streak right up my spine. The gun in my mouth was real and the taste blew my mind."

"We see you cry. We turn your head. Then we slap your face. We see you try. We see you fail. Some things never change."
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17-11-2013, 05:12 PM
RE: Help design my new book cover, win a free copy! (This guy again?)
I did end up taking no one's advice cause I'm a prima donna and going with the one I posted.

[Image: product_thumbnail.php?productId=21302846...lution=320]

http://www.lulu.com/shop/brian-shuty/no-...02846.html

It's at least worth checking out the 10 page preview.

Once I get it in the mail and make sure it looks like a book and not a severed head by mistake, I'll set about mailing a copy to a select few. I can only give 5, so I had to go by seniority (sorry muffs, peanut, sporehux, and spiral!)

Whoever wants one out of this list, PM me your address and I'll set your house on fire... I mean send you one as soon as I can.

bucky
kim
lady jane
lucradis
stark

If any of you fine folk don't want one, I'll select another from the list of misfit members.

Thanks!!!!!!!!

"Ain't got no last words to say, yellow streak right up my spine. The gun in my mouth was real and the taste blew my mind."

"We see you cry. We turn your head. Then we slap your face. We see you try. We see you fail. Some things never change."
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17-11-2013, 06:44 PM
RE: Help design my new book cover, win a free copy! (This guy again?)
Pass mine on to whomever is next. I'll just illegally download it.

"I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments." -Jim Morrison
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17-11-2013, 06:57 PM
RE: Help design my new book cover, win a free copy! (This guy again?)
(17-11-2013 05:12 PM)Buddy Christ Wrote:  I did end up taking no one's advice cause I'm a prima donna and going with the one I posted.

[Image: product_thumbnail.php?productId=21302846...lution=320]

http://www.lulu.com/shop/brian-shuty/no-...02846.html

It's at least worth checking out the 10 page preview.

Once I get it in the mail and make sure it looks like a book and not a severed head by mistake, I'll set about mailing a copy to a select few. I can only give 5, so I had to go by seniority (sorry muffs, peanut, sporehux, and spiral!)

Whoever wants one out of this list, PM me your address and I'll set your house on fire... I mean send you one as soon as I can.

bucky
kim
lady jane
lucradis
stark

If any of you fine folk don't want one, I'll select another from the list of misfit members.

Thanks!!!!!!!!
Fine. I will just download it when available. I can say, "I KINDA know that author." = D

Yay, for books. I heart reading.

And I like the final product.

"It was life, often unsatisfying, frequently cruel, usually boring, sometimes beautiful, once in awhile exhilarating." -Stephen King
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17-11-2013, 07:12 PM
RE: Help design my new book cover, win a free copy! (This guy again?)
I can buy the book, update the thread when it's ready? Are there any excerpts?
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17-11-2013, 07:22 PM
RE: Help design my new book cover, win a free copy! (This guy again?)
(14-11-2013 04:15 PM)Buddy Christ Wrote:  Yes that's right. After a year hiatus, I've come back just to pander my wares some more! Hooray!

I have no artistic talent, so my current cover is just 2 pictures and some text. The usual. The book is done and I'm so excited I could joust with my erect nipples.

I'm planning on giving 5 free copies to random people on here just for feedback and editing reasons. The first free copy goes to whoever helps me figure the cover out.

The book is a comedy called No Hope for Humanity so the idea was to have like a fat woman on a scooter at Walmart or just a prime example of how hopeless we are as a species.

My first 2 ideas can't be used for copyright reasons (I can't get the artists to respond).


This one was a good display of our love of cell phones combined with our affinity for destruction and war, but again... the artist can't be reached and I didn't want to single out Tony Blair.

[Image: images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQuCtDv9_SncSs64TROOQ4...lquI_RmHJA]



This one didn't really make sense, but it did have that mindlessly patriotic feel to it. He has a lot of awesome photos including Reagan riding a raptor firing a gun, but again no response to my emails.

[Image: fdr_battle_master_by_sharpwriter-d46ks2j.jpg]



The last one I couldn't get permission for is this one. A bit more hopeless than humor, but it fit the theme. That's the problem with DeviantArt, lots of great artworks by people who don't necessarily want to share.

[Image: Dream_about_falling_down_by_bucz.jpg]



The ones I'm left with so far are from Shutterstock. The actual pictures will be more clear and without the imprint.

[Image: stock-photo-business-man-climbs-a-mounta...652138.jpg]

[Image: stock-photo-man-silhouette-jumping-over-...658988.jpg]



As you can see, I suck at creative artwork. Any takers?

Ok picture this:

A bunch of well dressed people in a museum admiring a picture that is a scribbled Mona Lisa on MS Paint.
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17-11-2013, 08:13 PM
RE: Help design my new book cover, win a free copy! (This guy again?)
(17-11-2013 06:44 PM)lucradis Wrote:  Pass mine on to whomever is next. I'll just illegally download it.

(17-11-2013 07:12 PM)LadyJane Wrote:  I can buy the book, update the thread when it's ready? Are there any excerpts?

As soon as Amazon makes it available in about a day, I'll do an official release thread.

Hmmm, an excerpt.

Alright, here's a good one.


There is a terrible evil in this country. A corporation that holds so firm a monopoly on their product that we are all slaves to their whim. At first we were content to pay 2 dollars to “fill up our vehicle,” but that was before the megacorporation discovered how dependent we were on their product. Slowly, the price crept higher and higher. We didn’t like it, but what else could we do? It’s not like we could stop buying the product. Today, the price nears the 4 dollar mark and yet we continue to shell out cash for this like good little consumers. We must come together as a nation and protest this gross manipulation of the market. We must voice our dissent before it is too late. This product has a stranglehold on the economy of America and we need to send a message to its corporate fat cats. I’m talking, of course, about Girl Scout cookies. Each year the prices climb and each year the box size gets smaller. What used to be a plentiful bounty of affordable sugary goodness is now a handful of disappointment. The entire business of it seems to be a mockery of willpower and gullibility. They know we’re going to buy 7 boxes - no matter what - and so they sit in their mansions on Girl Scout Blvd, gleefully counting their fortunes whilst perched atop their thrones made of gold.

They’ve essentially stolen the idea championed by Pepperidge Farm; the marketing scheme of selling small amounts of cookies for twice as much under the guise of, “Well these are classy cookies. This isn’t the cheap stuff you see flinging its wares on Colfax Avenue – 20 bucks for a ‘Half n Half’ (half chocolate, half vanilla). No this is the high quality stuff you’ll find at VIP cookie swapping parties in Malibu. Bring your lady, too. One of you will leave satisfied and the other one will end up with cream filling on their chin.” So they’ve taken the Pepperidge Farm idea and expanded on it. They recognized our weakness for child labor and exploited it, replacing salesman with innocent little girls with sad Disney-eyes. Hands out, pleading for money to help feed their starving family (“please sir, I want some more”). I wouldn’t be surprised to soon see this technique spread to other companies. You’ll be greeted at the door by the Marlboro Girls, dressed in their little outfits, pulling around cartons of cigarettes in a Red Flyer wagon with an American flag taped to the back. “Sir, would you like to buy a box of smokes to help Troop 47 afford a new rec center? We have the new menthols, Slim Mints. If you put them in the freezer before you smoke them, they taste extra minty.” Let’s band together people. End the monopoly.

"Ain't got no last words to say, yellow streak right up my spine. The gun in my mouth was real and the taste blew my mind."

"We see you cry. We turn your head. Then we slap your face. We see you try. We see you fail. Some things never change."
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17-11-2013, 10:47 PM
RE: Help design my new book cover, win a free copy! (This guy again?)
Yessssssss!

So many cats, so few good recipes.
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19-11-2013, 03:47 AM
RE: Help design my new book cover, win a free copy! (This guy again?)
Dammit, wish I had seen this earlier. I thought the hanging guy would have looked a lot funnier with a mushroom cloud superimposed in the background... I don't really fire up my Photoshop much anymore... Undecided

[Image: GrumpyCat_01.gif]
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20-11-2013, 03:23 PM
RE: Help design my new book cover, win a free copy! (This guy again?)
(19-11-2013 03:47 AM)EvolutionKills Wrote:  Dammit, wish I had seen this earlier. I thought the hanging guy would have looked a lot funnier with a mushroom cloud superimposed in the background... I don't really fire up my Photoshop much anymore... Undecided

I can always change it. Perks of self-publishing.

I got my book in the mail. Only took a couple of days. I officially declare it complete and ready to order. It's smaller and easier on the eyes than my last book. It's also filled with more humor and less scripture. Like I said, about 25% of the book is made up of revamped forum posts so you may recognize some of the stuff. But your mind will be so blown by the rest that you won't mind.

For a print copy, go to:

http://www.lulu.com/shop/brian-shuty/no-...02846.html

They run deals every month so I'll post when a discount comes up. You also get the eBook copy from the Lulu site.

For the Kindle Amazon version go to:

http://www.amazon.com/No-Hope-Humanity-B...rian+shuty

Don't forget to leave ratings. I'll post something on my ACB thread (it's the reason I'm still getting revenue after this long), send out books to the addresses that are PMed to me, and drift silently back into the mists of the forum.


[Image: 408143335.jpg]

(Yes that is a WoW t-shirt)

"Ain't got no last words to say, yellow streak right up my spine. The gun in my mouth was real and the taste blew my mind."

"We see you cry. We turn your head. Then we slap your face. We see you try. We see you fail. Some things never change."
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