Help lifting my grandmother's spirits
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29-08-2014, 05:41 AM
RE: Help lifting my grandmother's spirits
Memories and physical touching.

The hospital becomes a bubble after a bit, the outside world is gone, unreachable. That becomes depressing for an elderly person in a short time. Things look hopeless and that impacts the will to live, the appetite, the desire to get up and go.

Talking about "good old times" is always uplifting.

I like the scented lotions, do her hair, hold her hand, maybe read to her. Give her a manicure. A foot massage. Make parts of her body feel good. Make her feel attractive. Make her feel loved.

Last not least - laughter. Jokes? Funny stories? Funny memories?

Things you have in common with her. Anything - characteristics, places, people. Make the outside come alive.

And again, physical touching. Never enough of that.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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29-08-2014, 04:48 PM
RE: Help lifting my grandmother's spirits
Just realized the only problem with reading to her aloud ATM is she's not wearing her hearing aides. You have to shout to have a conversation with her. Maybe once she is in the nursing home she'll start using them again.

It was a short visit today, but we did have a couple of laughs (especially when she was extremely embarrassed to have to tell me she wanted her prunes from home to help keep her regular. I gave her a hard time for being embarrassed, we had a good laugh Big Grin ).

I'm glad she mentioned the prunes at least. She's still not eating Sad just the occasional ensure. She had a blood transfusion to try and give her body a boost, but it's not helping Sad hopefully she'll actually eat the prunes.

She's starting to make lists of things she'll need at the nursing home. They say likely tomorrow will be the move date. Fingers crossed!! Once she's there we can actually bring her clothes, she wants pajamas BAD!!

We did have a sad moment too, she said she is having a hard time coming to terms with her situation. I don't know how to help her with that other than to commiserate with her on what a crappy situation it is, while giving her hope that she'll get better.

Thanks again everyone for the suggestion and support Hug so lucky to have great friends like all of you Hug it's going to be a long tough road, but we'll make it thru Flex

I hope that the world turns, and things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. - V for Vendetta
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29-08-2014, 04:59 PM
RE: Help lifting my grandmother's spirits
Get her back into her hearing aides ASAP. It's hard to communicate with the nurses etc without them. Also, is she getting a full nights rest? Hospital situations can be hard because of the constant waking.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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29-08-2014, 05:02 PM
RE: Help lifting my grandmother's spirits
(29-08-2014 04:59 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  Get her back into her hearing aides ASAP. It's hard to communicate with the nurses etc without them. Also, is she getting a full nights rest? Hospital situations can be hard because of the constant waking.

Dad wouldn't wear his in the hospital either - afraid they would get lost. Considering some of the things that did disappear, I don't blame him. He did wear them after getting setting in the care facility.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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29-08-2014, 05:39 PM
RE: Help lifting my grandmother's spirits
My grandpa was a farmer. Worked on, and fixed, his own equipment. He worked with his hands nearly non-stop! So we'd bring in a detached engine of a weed eater, or something, say we couldn't figure it out, so he could work on it. Got in trouble once, cause the old bastard actually started the thing up Laugh out load
So maybe, like if she enjoyed canning tomatoes, you could bring her some jars, and stuff, and can things with her Shy If the staff gets uptight, just tell em "my mammy likes canning & that's all there is to it"!

Also the playing cards like ya'll did when you were a kid is a good idea, too. My grandpa used to grab me up and put his unshaven cheeks against mine, like "is that rough? hey is that too rough, hee hee hee". So guess what grandpa? You remember me? Evil_monster *rubs MY unshaven whiskers up against granpa's cheek* Are my cheeks rough? Huh? Too rough, is it? Laugh out load Had to been there, but it's the little things Shy

But I think the most important thing is to make sure they don't feel forgotten, or marginalized. Grandpa's lands were turned into an LLC with him as President, and his kids as Vice Presidents. Not only would we visit him often, but we'd ask him advice (even though it wasn't really needed... most the time Confused ) on how to buy diesel, or what should we plant in the South East field, so his mind would be occupied by doing what he always did, and loved, even though it was his children carrying out his "work". He felt "still in the loop", if that makes sense. So keep grandma "in the loop". Ask her advice on anything! She prolly knows more than we do!

I think you've already taken care of the most important thing, though Shy BEING there Hug Heart

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29-08-2014, 05:45 PM
RE: Help lifting my grandmother's spirits
Bring a notebook. You never know what might be said that you don't want to forget.

Everyone said we needed to start writing down things my one grandmother said. She had a memory like I have never seen on anyone else. She knew the history of the area where she lived, she knew about people long gone that were related in some way. She was a wealth of information. What I would give for a couple of her recipes.

Of course, no one wrote them down and we try to recall the best we can.

As you two look at photos and such - take some notes - one day you will be happy you did.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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29-08-2014, 07:16 PM
RE: Help lifting my grandmother's spirits
(29-08-2014 04:59 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  Get her back into her hearing aides ASAP. It's hard to communicate with the nurses etc without them. Also, is she getting a full nights rest? Hospital situations can be hard because of the constant waking.

She told me today that they wake her up every half hour during he night to take her blood pressure, and that other nurses check on her thru the night too. I thought that was weird, because all the time I've spent there during day hours I've seen.... One may pbe two nurse visits. What the heck is up with that? So she's not getting the best sleep at night, but she does a lot of sleeping during the day, so she's getting quite a bit of sleep. Hoping at least the large quantity if not long durations of sleep are helping.

I hope that the world turns, and things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. - V for Vendetta
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29-08-2014, 07:27 PM
RE: Help lifting my grandmother's spirits
(29-08-2014 07:16 PM)Smercury44 Wrote:  
(29-08-2014 04:59 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  Get her back into her hearing aides ASAP. It's hard to communicate with the nurses etc without them. Also, is she getting a full nights rest? Hospital situations can be hard because of the constant waking.

She told me today that they wake her up every half hour during he night to take her blood pressure, and that other nurses check on her thru the night too. I thought that was weird, because all the time I've spent there during day hours I've seen.... One may pbe two nurse visits. What the heck is up with that? So she's not getting the best sleep at night, but she does a lot of sleeping during the day, so she's getting quite a bit of sleep. Hoping at least the large quantity if not long durations of sleep are helping.

Anj's notebook idea is terrific, you can even go a step further and record her when she recounts stories of her youth, those will be treasured for the rest of your life.

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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29-08-2014, 08:01 PM
RE: Help lifting my grandmother's spirits
At 90 the fracture is a terrible shock to the system. There is a tendency for older seniors to not survive very long afterward. I'm hoping I'm wrong but do keep in contact with her doctor as there's only so much a nurse is allowed to tell you.
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30-08-2014, 09:59 PM
RE: Help lifting my grandmother's spirits
Got her all settled in to the nursing home today. It's really nice where she's at, and the nurses seem great, and her physical therapist is awesome!

But - I need to vent for a moment, forgive me. My sister hasn't visited or spoken to my grandma since the accident, and called me tonight to tell me she is visiting her tomorrow, and bringing a care package, and that I might want to buy her one also so that I don't look like "the bad granddaughter"

I could punch her in the face Angry Dodgy *deep breaths*

I hope that the world turns, and things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. - V for Vendetta
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