Help me choose a new insult
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30-07-2016, 10:13 AM
Help me choose a new insult
Wellllll, I've been meaning to change my Shakespeare insult signature for a looooooong time. I've got several I'm looking at that are insultingly wonderful but I can't decide which is the best. I do have to edit the long ones to fit the signature requirements of how many characters I can use but anyway, here's my list.

This first one is the way I feel when I'm conversing with fundamental, evolution denying Christians. This is the one I have but I've edited out some of it. Maybe I should re-edit it to include some of the stuff I took out.

1. "Why dost thou converse with that trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years?"

Some of them are kinda short so I could combine them and make a nice long insult. Shakespeare wouldn't mind. Tongue The below quotes are from four different plays.

2. Thou mangled flap-mouthed wagtail!
Thou mountain of mad flesh!
Thou frothy dread-bolted nut-hook!
Thou pribbling common-kissing blind-worm!

This one is too long. I believe it's a reference to Falstaff.

3.Do you set down your name in the scroll of youth, that are written down old with all the characters of age? Have you not a moist eye, a dry hand, a yellow cheek, a white beard, a decreasing leg, an increasing belly? Is not your voice broken, your wind short, your chin double, your wit single, and every part about you blasted with antiquity? And will you yet call yourself young?

I like these five all by themselves. Laugh out load But again, I could combine them into one long insult.

4. Thou goatish pottle-deep mumble-news!

5. Thou spleeny sheep-biting foot-licker! (in other words, a politician. Thumbsup )

6. Thou mammering fen-sucked hugger-mugger! (Wasn't hugger-mugger used in Harry Potter?)

7. Thou craven milk-livered scut! (What the hell is a "scut"? )

8. Thou gleeking common-kissing skainsmate! Laughat

Anyway, these are some of the insults I like but there are many more. Any preferences? I, of course, will choose which will be honored as my signature but it's nice to get input. It's also a nice diversion from....... Rainbow Vomit ....... politics.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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30-07-2016, 10:20 AM
RE: Help me choose a new insult
(30-07-2016 10:13 AM)dancefortwo Wrote:  Wellllll, I've been meaning to change my Shakespeare insult signature for a looooooong time. I've got several I'm looking at that are insultingly wonderful but I can't decide which is the best. I do have to edit the long ones to fit the signature requirements of how many characters I can use but anyway, here's my list.

This first one is the way I feel when I'm conversing with fundamental, evolution denying Christians. This is the one I have but I've edited out some of it. Maybe I should re-edit it to include some of the stuff I took out.

1. "Why dost thou converse with that trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years?"

Some of them are kinda short so I could combine them and make a nice long insult. Shakespeare wouldn't mind. Tongue The below quotes are from four different plays.

2. Thou mangled flap-mouthed wagtail!
Thou mountain of mad flesh!
Thou frothy dread-bolted nut-hook!
Thou pribbling common-kissing blind-worm!

This one is too long. I believe it's a reference to Falstaff.

3.Do you set down your name in the scroll of youth, that are written down old with all the characters of age? Have you not a moist eye, a dry hand, a yellow cheek, a white beard, a decreasing leg, an increasing belly? Is not your voice broken, your wind short, your chin double, your wit single, and every part about you blasted with antiquity? And will you yet call yourself young?

I like these five all by themselves. Laugh out load But again, I could combine them into one long insult.

4. Thou goatish pottle-deep mumble-news!

5. Thou spleeny sheep-biting foot-licker! (in other words, a politician. Thumbsup )

6. Thou mammering fen-sucked hugger-mugger! (Wasn't hugger-mugger used in Harry Potter?)

7. Thou craven milk-livered scut! (What the hell is a "scut"? )

8. Thou gleeking common-kissing skainsmate! Laughat

Anyway, these are some of the insults I like but there are many more. Any preferences? I, of course, will choose which will be honored as my signature but it's nice to get input. It's also a nice diversion from....... Rainbow Vomit ....... politics.

I fail to comprehend why have the goal of being as insulting as possible.
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30-07-2016, 10:22 AM
RE: Help me choose a new insult
I like "You're what Darwin warned us about."
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30-07-2016, 10:32 AM
RE: Help me choose a new insult
(30-07-2016 10:20 AM)Born Again Pagan Wrote:  
(30-07-2016 10:13 AM)dancefortwo Wrote:  Wellllll, I've been meaning to change my Shakespeare insult signature for a looooooong time. I've got several I'm looking at that are insultingly wonderful but I can't decide which is the best. I do have to edit the long ones to fit the signature requirements of how many characters I can use but anyway, here's my list.

This first one is the way I feel when I'm conversing with fundamental, evolution denying Christians. This is the one I have but I've edited out some of it. Maybe I should re-edit it to include some of the stuff I took out.

1. "Why dost thou converse with that trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years?"

Some of them are kinda short so I could combine them and make a nice long insult. Shakespeare wouldn't mind. Tongue The below quotes are from four different plays.

2. Thou mangled flap-mouthed wagtail!
Thou mountain of mad flesh!
Thou frothy dread-bolted nut-hook!
Thou pribbling common-kissing blind-worm!

This one is too long. I believe it's a reference to Falstaff.

3.Do you set down your name in the scroll of youth, that are written down old with all the characters of age? Have you not a moist eye, a dry hand, a yellow cheek, a white beard, a decreasing leg, an increasing belly? Is not your voice broken, your wind short, your chin double, your wit single, and every part about you blasted with antiquity? And will you yet call yourself young?

I like these five all by themselves. Laugh out load But again, I could combine them into one long insult.

4. Thou goatish pottle-deep mumble-news!

5. Thou spleeny sheep-biting foot-licker! (in other words, a politician. Thumbsup )

6. Thou mammering fen-sucked hugger-mugger! (Wasn't hugger-mugger used in Harry Potter?)

7. Thou craven milk-livered scut! (What the hell is a "scut"? )

8. Thou gleeking common-kissing skainsmate! Laughat

Anyway, these are some of the insults I like but there are many more. Any preferences? I, of course, will choose which will be honored as my signature but it's nice to get input. It's also a nice diversion from....... Rainbow Vomit ....... politics.

I fail to comprehend why have the goal of being as insulting as possible.

Because it's fun, thou cockered guts-griping codpiece! Laugh out load

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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30-07-2016, 10:59 AM
RE: Help me choose a new insult
I like "Litter mate of drones!". This is a quote from Keith Laumer.

Yours are more poetic, but I was raised in a less kind school.
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30-07-2016, 11:21 AM
RE: Help me choose a new insult
(30-07-2016 10:59 AM)Fireball Wrote:  I like "Litter mate of drones!". This is a quote from Keith Laumer.

Yours are more poetic, but I was raised in a less kind school.

Well, I'd like to keep it in the Shakespeare mode. There are small books dedicated to his insults...... thou vain milk-livered varlot! Tongue

There's also Shakespeare kits such as this in which one can mix and match the insults.

[Image: The-Shakespearean-Insult-Kit-Fun-jokes-for-actors.jpg]

With the election coming soon some of these insults might come in handy.

For instance..."Pribbling, clay-brained, malt-worm" might describe one or more of the presidential candidates. Yes

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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30-07-2016, 11:36 AM
RE: Help me choose a new insult
Laugh out load My preference is "unmuzzled onion-eyed lout".
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30-07-2016, 11:48 AM
RE: Help me choose a new insult
"You would be a waste of a grave."
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30-07-2016, 12:35 PM
RE: Help me choose a new insult
(30-07-2016 11:36 AM)Fireball Wrote:  Laugh out load My preference is "unmuzzled onion-eyed lout".

I could use them in a sentence and once a month change them out.

The delusonal, Bible believing creationist was a dankish rump fed pignut Bwhahahaha.

I think I'm getting rid of some pent up anger here. Evil_monster

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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30-07-2016, 12:48 PM
RE: Help me choose a new insult
1. I do desire we may be better strangers.
2. You scullion. You rampallian. You fustilarian. I’ll tickle your catastrophe.

#sigh
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