Help through Deconversion
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
24-10-2013, 12:21 PM
RE: Help through Deconversion
(24-10-2013 10:10 AM)Jasozz Wrote:  
(24-10-2013 10:06 AM)Paranoidsam Wrote:  This thread probably should have been posted in the support section... not being anal, but its much more strictly moderated against knob heads like Excubitor.

"Coming out" as an atheist is probably the trickiest part... you say your girlfriend is an atheist, so she'll be the best person to support you. And of course, you can always get support from people on here.

The thing I'd be most worried about is your family holding your girlfriend responsible... But only you know if they'd react like that.

I'm sure that my family has caught on to my distancing from the church; something that's happened over the course of over 5 years. I doubt my parents would blame her, but Im sure there are some who will undoubtedly quote "unequal yoking" being my downfall, to which my reply is that when I broke up with my last girlfriend, I turned to the church to try and dig myself out of my depression, and no amount of prayer helped, the church just wanted my money, and I never felt like anyone cared there. Then I went to Applebees and had a beer with my friends and we sorted it out through conversation and just being there for each other.

I'd say human kindness won out in this case.

I can identify with that very much. Its amazing how hollow it seems when you look back at religion...

I went though a bad patch of depression and anxiety about 2 years ago (I'm not completely out of it even now), by then I was already more or less an atheist, but some of the stuff I'd believed in lingered on.

I'd had episodes like this since I was 8 years old, and each time I'd resorted to prayer to get me through... except this time. All of the praying, teachings, and scripture seemed so hollow and meaningless.

So I drew support from my family, and found it to be infinitely more powerful and effective than anything religious. Because unlike religion, people offer empathy.

If there is a God, how could he possibly understand human fears like death and getting sick? Only another human can do that.

[img]

via GIPHY

[/img]
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
24-10-2013, 01:22 PM
RE: Help through Deconversion
(24-10-2013 12:21 PM)Paranoidsam Wrote:  [quote='Jasozz' pid='401903' dateline='1382631020']
If there is a God, how could he possibly understand human fears like death and getting sick? Only another human can do that.

I like this point. Smile

It always bothered me how all the support I'd ever get in life, whether over religion or not, would be that I should pray on it or reconnect with God.

Hardship in life is going to cause grief whether you believe or not, and I had to learn it was time to face it on my own.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
24-10-2013, 01:47 PM
RE: Help through Deconversion
(24-10-2013 08:26 AM)excubitor Wrote:  Jasozz is an enormous failure. All that investment in a christian upbringing, raised by a christian father all flushed down the toilet. What a disgraceful failure. Failed his church, failed his pastors, failed his father. Now he has failed me as well. Stands to reason therefore that he has failed God and the life that God planted in him.

I know exactly what you mean. I remember when I fell short of becoming a complete asshole. I tried to be like you, treat others with disdain, but I just couldn't do it. I am a failure.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like WeAreTheCosmos's post
24-10-2013, 01:49 PM
RE: Help through Deconversion
(24-10-2013 08:42 AM)Jasozz Wrote:  I want to get this back on topic to some degree after that horrific derailing...

For anyone else who has gone through deconversion...

Did you wind up as atheist or agnostic? Did you explore other religions?

For me, with how much I overthink things, I cannot be sure of anything unless I can be 100% sure on it, which makes it difficult to hedge my bets on science just as much as a religion. It always goes back to the unexplained parts on both sides, mainly with creation.

Can you be happy with agnosticism? I don't know that I could be comfortable NOT believing in SOMETHING, even if it were the belief in nothing, but I know myself well enough to know that I probably won't be able to fully settle on something.

I agree with alot of the VIEWS of many religions, such as Buddhism, but when it comes down to the THEISTIC points of it, I can't usually stake myself in it.

Anyone with similar views or experiences?

I began a big Christian type, then I ventured into some spirituality stuff (Wiccan, Taoism, Buddhism) ....eventually I came full stop at agnostic atheism.

I don't know if there is a god or being that started everything, but I do firmly believe the bible is myth. so I'm atheist when it comes to gods (Zeus, Christian, Hindu, Buddha et al) and agnostic because deep down, All religions regardless of what they claim to worship are just worshipping something someone far earlier invented. Did someone just seed the universe, I just don't know...whoever they are..lit seems they're long gone and have nothing to do with our daily lives.

I also wonder sometimes if we haven't done all this before and destroyed ourselves. There would be little trace of us in a few hundred years if we all vanished. And a few hundred years is NOTHING compared to the billions of years old our planet is.


God is a concept by which we measure our pain -- John Lennon

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
24-10-2013, 01:52 PM
RE: Help through Deconversion
(24-10-2013 01:49 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  
(24-10-2013 08:42 AM)Jasozz Wrote:  I want to get this back on topic to some degree after that horrific derailing...

For anyone else who has gone through deconversion...

Did you wind up as atheist or agnostic? Did you explore other religions?

For me, with how much I overthink things, I cannot be sure of anything unless I can be 100% sure on it, which makes it difficult to hedge my bets on science just as much as a religion. It always goes back to the unexplained parts on both sides, mainly with creation.

Can you be happy with agnosticism? I don't know that I could be comfortable NOT believing in SOMETHING, even if it were the belief in nothing, but I know myself well enough to know that I probably won't be able to fully settle on something.

I agree with alot of the VIEWS of many religions, such as Buddhism, but when it comes down to the THEISTIC points of it, I can't usually stake myself in it.

Anyone with similar views or experiences?

I began a big Christian type, then I ventured into some spirituality stuff (Wiccan, Taoism, Buddhism) ....eventually I came full stop at agnostic atheism.

I don't know if there is a god or being that started everything, but I do firmly believe the bible is myth. so I'm atheist when it comes to gods (Zeus, Christian, Hindu, Buddha et al) and agnostic because deep down, All religions regardless of what they claim to worship are just worshipping something someone far earlier invented. Did someone just seed the universe, I just don't know...whoever they are..lit seems they're long gone and have nothing to do with our daily lives.

I also wonder sometimes if we haven't done all this before and destroyed ourselves. There would be little trace of us in a few hundred years if we all vanished. And a few hundred years is NOTHING compared to the billions of years old our planet is.

I can definitely see the draw of areas like Wicca or Buddhism, but in the end I doubt I'll be able to convince myself that any kind of deity is real, so I wager I'll wind up pretty firmly agnostic (if that's even a thing) at some point.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
24-10-2013, 02:03 PM
RE: Help through Deconversion
(24-10-2013 01:52 PM)Jasozz Wrote:  
(24-10-2013 01:49 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  I began a big Christian type, then I ventured into some spirituality stuff (Wiccan, Taoism, Buddhism) ....eventually I came full stop at agnostic atheism.

I don't know if there is a god or being that started everything, but I do firmly believe the bible is myth. so I'm atheist when it comes to gods (Zeus, Christian, Hindu, Buddha et al) and agnostic because deep down, All religions regardless of what they claim to worship are just worshipping something someone far earlier invented. Did someone just seed the universe, I just don't know...whoever they are..lit seems they're long gone and have nothing to do with our daily lives.

I also wonder sometimes if we haven't done all this before and destroyed ourselves. There would be little trace of us in a few hundred years if we all vanished. And a few hundred years is NOTHING compared to the billions of years old our planet is.

I can definitely see the draw of areas like Wicca or Buddhism, but in the end I doubt I'll be able to convince myself that any kind of deity is real, so I wager I'll wind up pretty firmly agnostic (if that's even a thing) at some point.

That's pretty much what I decided. There areas of Judaism (some catholic rituals too) for example that are interesting to me, but overall it was invented just like everything else. I take from everything the things that speak to me personally, like some rituals. I haven't any issue with having a completely clean home on Friday for example, and not doing much on Saturday...

Not for a religious bent, but because I feel sometimes there just isn't enough time be restful and just enjoy my family. So the idea of the Jewish Shabbat, without all the silly god trappings, is on a cursory level compelling. There's so much technology in our lives, to set aside a period of time where there's none...is really nice.

But that works for me.


God is a concept by which we measure our pain -- John Lennon

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
24-10-2013, 02:06 PM
RE: Help through Deconversion
(24-10-2013 02:03 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  
(24-10-2013 01:52 PM)Jasozz Wrote:  I can definitely see the draw of areas like Wicca or Buddhism, but in the end I doubt I'll be able to convince myself that any kind of deity is real, so I wager I'll wind up pretty firmly agnostic (if that's even a thing) at some point.

That's pretty much what I decided. There areas of Judaism (some catholic rituals too) for example that are interesting to me, but overall it was invented just like everything else. I take from everything the things that speak to me personally, like some rituals. I haven't any issue with having a completely clean home on Friday for example, and not doing much on Saturday...

Not for a religious bent, but because I feel sometimes there just isn't enough time be restful and just enjoy my family. So the idea of the Jewish Shabbat, without all the silly god trappings, is on a cursory level compelling. There's so much technology in our lives, to set aside a period of time where there's none...is really nice.

But that works for me.

Sure. And most religions have at least SOMETHING thats worth taking away from it. I just can't really define myself with a belief, like I had done with Christianity, unless I can wholeheartedly accept everything about it, including its core beliefs. That makes it tough to just believe in atheism, because of our lack of definite knowledge about the beginning of the universe.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
24-10-2013, 02:13 PM
RE: Help through Deconversion
Jasozz:

Welcome. I would just keep talking these things out with the people here, and with anyone else who will listen.

One thing to understand - this is a phase many many many hardcore christian deconverts go through. You are not alone, and there is light on the other side of the fear.

You are getting good advice - breath, relax, enjoy each day, and pick these problems apart one at a time. It DOES get better. And there will be times that you miss the good parts of your faith - mainly the good people. There will be hard times, speaking to your family is a really big deal, so don't rush any of it. Enjoy lots, and think some.

You will do great.

Cheers.

Don't sell yourself short Judge, you're an incredible slouch.

Martin Luther was the "father" of two movements - The Reformation and Nazism.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
24-10-2013, 02:14 PM
RE: Help through Deconversion
(24-10-2013 02:13 PM)Skippy538 Wrote:  Jasozz:

Welcome. I would just keep talking these things out with the people here, and with anyone else who will listen.

One thing to understand - this is a phase many many many hardcore christian deconverts go through. You are not alone, and there is light on the other side of the fear.

You are getting good advice - breath, relax, enjoy each day, and pick these problems apart one at a time. It DOES get better. And there will be times that you miss the good parts of your faith - mainly the good people. There will be hard times, speaking to your family is a really big deal, so don't rush any of it. Enjoy lots, and think some.

You will do great.

Cheers.

Thanks for the vote of confidence Smile

Just looking forward to getting to a comfortable place without fear, something I haven't experienced for years.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
24-10-2013, 02:16 PM
RE: Help through Deconversion
(24-10-2013 02:06 PM)Jasozz Wrote:  
(24-10-2013 02:03 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  That's pretty much what I decided. There areas of Judaism (some catholic rituals too) for example that are interesting to me, but overall it was invented just like everything else. I take from everything the things that speak to me personally, like some rituals. I haven't any issue with having a completely clean home on Friday for example, and not doing much on Saturday...

Not for a religious bent, but because I feel sometimes there just isn't enough time be restful and just enjoy my family. So the idea of the Jewish Shabbat, without all the silly god trappings, is on a cursory level compelling. There's so much technology in our lives, to set aside a period of time where there's none...is really nice.

But that works for me.

Sure. And most religions have at least SOMETHING thats worth taking away from it. I just can't really define myself with a belief, like I had done with Christianity, unless I can wholeheartedly accept everything about it, including its core beliefs. That makes it tough to just believe in atheism, because of our lack of definite knowledge about the beginning of the universe.

One does not "believe in atheism". Please rid yourself of that notion.

You either believe in god(s) or not. If not, you are an atheist. That's it.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
[Image: flagstiny%206.gif]
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Chas's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: