Helping youngest child deal with divorce...
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
06-02-2014, 09:03 AM
RE: Helping youngest child deal with divorce...
I will say too, that it helps - I think - that I honestly don't want to bad-mouth him. There've been times where, as Anjele shared, it has been difficult for me to hold my tongue. But I honestly do not want to have my kids think ill of their father because of something I say. My parents are still married, but I heard my mom speak badly of him for many, many years and because my dad is really quiet, I never heard his side of things. I figured out eventually that my dad is a good man. He has his faults, yes, but he was not the villain my mom had made him out to be. I'd held a lot of anger for him on my mom's behalf for many years and it was largely unwarranted. I do not want to do as my mom did and bad-mouth my kids' dad to them. If you want to spouse-bash that's something you do with your buddies, imo.

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
05-03-2014, 02:43 PM
RE: Helping youngest child deal with divorce...
Just wanted to pop in and say congrats. I know it was hard but obviously you know this is right. Regarding the kids, I would just tell them that it wasn't the best situation for you - or that it made you less happy than you could be and leave it at that. If they are not adults, it will be difficult for them to understand adult concepts, so keep it simple. Someday they will likely want to discuss - at that point in time you can help them understand in more detail.

But they key is - no one is required to stay in situations that make them less than 100% happy IMHO. I don't need to explain or defend my decisions to anyone, and if I do so, I simply tell them "It wasn't working…" Period. My marriage, my choice. I would go way out of my way to avoid speaking poorly about him. Your view is tainted. Let your kids have a relationship with him that is untarnished by your experience, maybe he will become a better person as a result of this. Either way - congrats. Be strong and make sure to get out and have some fun. Be sure to be doing those things you've been dreaming about. Best of luck EA.

Don't sell yourself short Judge, you're an incredible slouch.

Martin Luther was the "father" of two movements - The Reformation and Nazism.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Skippy538's post
09-03-2014, 10:47 AM
RE: Helping youngest child deal with divorce...
(05-03-2014 02:43 PM)Skippy538 Wrote:  Just wanted to pop in and say congrats. I know it was hard but obviously you know this is right. Regarding the kids, I would just tell them that it wasn't the best situation for you - or that it made you less happy than you could be and leave it at that. If they are not adults, it will be difficult for them to understand adult concepts, so keep it simple. Someday they will likely want to discuss - at that point in time you can help them understand in more detail.

But they key is - no one is required to stay in situations that make them less than 100% happy IMHO. I don't need to explain or defend my decisions to anyone, and if I do so, I simply tell them "It wasn't working…" Period. My marriage, my choice. I would go way out of my way to avoid speaking poorly about him. Your view is tainted. Let your kids have a relationship with him that is untarnished by your experience, maybe he will become a better person as a result of this. Either way - congrats. Be strong and make sure to get out and have some fun. Be sure to be doing those things you've been dreaming about. Best of luck EA.

Thanks, Skippy. I am much, much happier now. Getting out was difficult and I am still facing challenges, but it has been very much worth it. Thanks for everything. Hug

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: