Here Is My Story
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10-02-2017, 10:05 PM
Here Is My Story
To give people more insight into how my life is well, here's my story.

I think I started to notice things were off when I was starting into college. My grandmother, my mom as she raised me, she is one who is called a 'brow beater' or 'bible thumper'. My career is to be a greenhouse worker, Hort Major. However, every time I wanted to bring it up, she's try 'scare tactics' to get me to not go. Too the point I was convinced I'd never go to college. The basic 'Christian Housewife' complex.

This is when I started to notice the trend of things. When I was little we were suppose to be a 'perfect christian family'. Always went to church, always were nice to others, always helping. As a kid I was often scared of many things, but I never realized that fear of God was one of them until now.

The uncertainty of death and Hell were very much there. Being told that God would punish me for being a kid was scary also. As a result I grew up with little self confidence. I'm not a bitter about it as I was before, I've grown up more, but it's still there and it still shows.

It wasn't until I decided to be atheist that an ugly picture had a bit of like, and then the college thing shined light on the whole thing. My mom told me the day I told her 'I see nothing wrong with gays', she gave me the sob story of the 'devil pacing in front of God talking a bout me' and how now he was going to drag me to Hell for seeing nothing wrong with days.
I cried for two days about that, it hurts to think my mom berated me for that, making me cry over something so stupid. It still hurts now, but the hurt is more anger then anything else.

Smaller things have happened due to this. Most don't believe me when I say I suffered 'emotional abuse' from religion. Most of my religious friends claim that it's 'not possible' to suffer that from religion. Or they tell me that I just had one bad experience and will see how good Christianity is in the end.

I'll be honest, those claims make me so mad, to the point I was to scream. No, I won't see this 'light' and realize I was wrong. Yes this did happen and I do blame religion for all the times I was afraid to go to bed in fear of waking up in Hell the next minuet. Fear of doing something wrong and never being able to make up for it in Gods eyes. Fear of being human basically.

I'm not a bitter or whiny as I used to be when talking about it, I realize that now. I used to think I might have to go into therapy, I might if the brow beating continues on. I use to recall every horrible event in my life due to religion. Now, I can't really recall most of them, I hope that means I'm healing. I still hate it when people sing a 'benevolent' God's praises yet justify such horrible things then give then 'few bad apples' claim.
Guess it's hard to think about it, only when something horrible happens with religion does it bring up all the bad memories. Isn't that how it always is.

Maybe I am just a whiny teen who wants things. At least every time I talk about this, every religious and some other atheists or agnostics claim I'm just a whiny person and 'other people have it harder' so I should just 'shut up'

I might post more about my life, for now that's a bit of my story with religion.

"Governments don't want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking That is against their interests.
They want obedient workers people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork And just dumb enough to passively accept it."

- George Carlin
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10-02-2017, 10:14 PM
RE: Here Is My Story
*hugs* I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that. You absolutely can suffer emotional abuse from religion. I did. I was told similar stories as a child--not from my family, but from people in my church during religious happenings. It was an awful experience and I had nightmares from it as a small child.

Are you still planning on going to college for a Hort. major? Or are you there now? I think college will be great for you. It will provide you the means to live the life you want without the guilt and control from the church.

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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10-02-2017, 10:50 PM
RE: Here Is My Story
Now, though I have not walked in your own shoes and lived your own experience, I must sincerely promise you -- you're not being whiny or anything about this. Your situation and what you've been through, whether those around you want to admit it or not, IS traumatic. You have every right to feel the way you do, and you damn well should have the right to speak up about it without being told others have it worse.

I've found far more comfort here than I have with my family over the trauma, to be honest. My parents were accepting at first, but after seeing that I was still so easily panicked over hell and the "miracles" they and other Christians STILL shoved in my face, they asked me why I hadn't gotten over this yet.

Remember -- this process may take a long time, but that's okay. There's nothing wrong with taking the time you need to recover, saying what is on your mind, and there's definitely nothing wrong with how you feel.

You're not whiny, you're a badass for speaking up!
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10-02-2017, 11:15 PM
RE: Here Is My Story
(10-02-2017 10:14 PM)jennybee Wrote:  *hugs* I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that. You absolutely can suffer emotional abuse from religion. I did. I was told similar stories as a child--not from my family, but from people in my church during religious happenings. It was an awful experience and I had nightmares from it as a small child.

Are you still planning on going to college for a Hort. major? Or are you there now? I think college will be great for you. It will provide you the means to live the life you want without the guilt and control from the church.

Yes I'm in my first year having taken Fall classes already and started Spring classes. I really like what I am doing, and still trying to prove to mom that I'm not 'corrupted' by it. *Sighs*

But life has slowly gotten better, met a friend there who is a fan of Supernatural (To which she got me addicted)

Sadly I still send my time poking at youtube com mentors for giggles, (I have no heart and I'm a mean person) In my opinion you can't win a youtube argument so I try to get a laugh out of it. I got on here for some serious debating and like minded people. (Though the last forum I was on said I was a horrible person for doing that. :/ ) Yeah... everyone hates a troll yes, I think it's one thing to just poke at the absurdity and say what they really think people say (EX: Vegans think all meat eaters are horrible people who hate animals, I'm that one who posts a comment that does just that just to see what will happen)
I've given up on debating in youtube comments, might be mean of me but hey they were mean first and what's wrong with being a bit childish? (I still tell them after a while I'm just doing this for laughs and that I'm not being serious at all.)

"Governments don't want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking That is against their interests.
They want obedient workers people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork And just dumb enough to passively accept it."

- George Carlin
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11-02-2017, 01:32 AM
RE: Here Is My Story
First of all: YouTube comments are the absolute worst! My advice is totally avoid any "debate" there, it will destroy your sanity. The very worst idiotic trolls live there.

I'm so sorry for what you went through Sad You absolutely have suffered emotional damage from religion. The dogma of hell is one of the most hideous aspects of religion, and it is well known to be psychologically harmful. There's no shame in stating religion has hurt you, and anyone who says it hasn't is an ignorant twat. Sure, not everyone teaches hell these days, and that is good. But that doesn't take away what has been done in the past.

I'm also really sorry some of your family are still hurting you with religion. I see religious people as victims. It's "the religion talking". That's about the only way to understand, and to not take personally, the ridiculous things people can say. They were victimized through indoctrination. They were programmed to think a certain way, and it's not easy to break out. I'm extremely proud of anyone who does, so you should give yourself a lot of credit!

Almost everyone I've talked to or heard about who has the fear of hell still in their head (which is perfectly normal) has said this fear fades over time. As your belief that the religion is a big pile of shit grows stronger, the logic will trump the emotion more and more. Religion is all emotion, because it's illogical and not based on reality.

I hope you continue to improve!

(I'm a vegan, and I don't think all meat eaters are horrible people! Big Grin )

I have a website here which discusses the issues and terminology surrounding religion and atheism. It's hopefully user friendly to all.
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11-02-2017, 04:56 AM (This post was last modified: 11-02-2017 04:59 AM by RocketSurgeon76.)
RE: Here Is My Story
Looking back on the same sorts of conversations I had to have (yuck!) when I rejected the faith in which I was brought up, and realizing the amount of perspective I've gained from back when I was trapped in that little, limited, and utterly imaginary world in which their minds reside, I learned to let go of my hurt and anger. You have to realize they're trapped in an "ignorance is strength" cult, manipulated by fear and brainwashing. You should not be angry; you should pity their narrow view of the world.

To me, nothing sums up that "The Creator of the Universe is deeply interested in our genitals" view of religion than this image:

[Image: 57b.jpg]

(It's mostly safe for work... I spoiler tagged it because it's a big image.)

"Theology made no provision for evolution. The biblical authors had missed the most important revelation of all! Could it be that they were not really privy to the thoughts of God?" - E. O. Wilson
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11-02-2017, 07:26 AM (This post was last modified: 11-02-2017 10:26 AM by jennybee.)
RE: Here Is My Story
(11-02-2017 01:32 AM)Robvalue Wrote:  First of all: YouTube comments are the absolute worst! My advice is totally avoid any "debate" there, it will destroy your sanity. The very worst idiotic trolls live there.

I'm so sorry for what you went through Sad You absolutely have suffered emotional damage from religion. The dogma of hell is one of the most hideous aspects of religion, and it is well known to be psychologically harmful. There's no shame in stating religion has hurt you, and anyone who says it hasn't is an ignorant twat. Sure, not everyone teaches hell these days, and that is good. But that doesn't take away what has been done in the past.

I'm also really sorry some of your family are still hurting you with religion. I see religious people as victims. It's "the religion talking". That's about the only way to understand, and to not take personally, the ridiculous things people can say. They were victimized through indoctrination. They were programmed to think a certain way, and it's not easy to break out. I'm extremely proud of anyone who does, so you should give yourself a lot of credit!

Almost everyone I've talked to or heard about who has the fear of hell still in their head (which is perfectly normal) has said this fear fades over time. As your belief that the religion is a big pile of shit grows stronger, the logic will trump the emotion more and more. Religion is all emotion, because it's illogical and not based on reality.

I hope you continue to improve!

(I'm a vegan, and I don't think all meat eaters are horrible people! Big Grin )

I'm also vegan and I don't think all meat eaters are horrible people. In fact, I'm dating one. Tongue And my boyfriend belongs to more animal rights groups than I do. I definitely don't think meateaters hate animals. I think they just enjoy eating meat. And most of the meateaters I know are all for better conditions for animals in factory farms-both for the health of themselves and for the animals. So I have zero issue with people who eat meat. Also, if you are going to be a Hort. major, vegans are probably going to be some of your biggest clients Smile

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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11-02-2017, 10:36 AM
RE: Here Is My Story
(10-02-2017 11:15 PM)Ruby Crystal Wrote:  
(10-02-2017 10:14 PM)jennybee Wrote:  *hugs* I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that. You absolutely can suffer emotional abuse from religion. I did. I was told similar stories as a child--not from my family, but from people in my church during religious happenings. It was an awful experience and I had nightmares from it as a small child.

Are you still planning on going to college for a Hort. major? Or are you there now? I think college will be great for you. It will provide you the means to live the life you want without the guilt and control from the church.

Yes I'm in my first year having taken Fall classes already and started Spring classes. I really like what I am doing, and still trying to prove to mom that I'm not 'corrupted' by it. *Sighs*

But life has slowly gotten better, met a friend there who is a fan of Supernatural (To which she got me addicted)

Sadly I still send my time poking at youtube com mentors for giggles, (I have no heart and I'm a mean person) In my opinion you can't win a youtube argument so I try to get a laugh out of it. I got on here for some serious debating and like minded people. (Though the last forum I was on said I was a horrible person for doing that. :/ ) Yeah... everyone hates a troll yes, I think it's one thing to just poke at the absurdity and say what they really think people say (EX: Vegans think all meat eaters are horrible people who hate animals, I'm that one who posts a comment that does just that just to see what will happen)
I've given up on debating in youtube comments, might be mean of me but hey they were mean first and what's wrong with being a bit childish? (I still tell them after a while I'm just doing this for laughs and that I'm not being serious at all.)

I'm glad you are taking your classes despite what your mom says. You gotta do what makes you happy. And an education will allow you to make your own money which will in turn allow you to get out from under your family's wing.

I understand that you might think it's funny to get a laugh at other people's expense, however, it sometimes can be hurtful to the other person. I don't think you are a horrible person, though. Just telling you how it feels to be on the other end of that.

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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12-02-2017, 01:04 AM
RE: Here Is My Story
I don't see all Vegans as the same so don't get me wrong, it was just an example of what had happened that I thought was rather funny. I'm talking about the Youtuber Vegans as I call them, the kind of youtube that 'promote' Veganism in a what they think is a 'good light' when most I've talked to are horrible people.

At least you don' think I'm horrible, normally I only do that when I'm beyond frustrated with the other person.

"Governments don't want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking That is against their interests.
They want obedient workers people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork And just dumb enough to passively accept it."

- George Carlin
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12-02-2017, 01:08 AM
RE: Here Is My Story
(12-02-2017 01:04 AM)Ruby Crystal Wrote:  I don't see all Vegans as the same so don't get me wrong, it was just an example of what had happened that I thought was rather funny. I'm talking about the Youtuber Vegans as I call them (Commentor Youtubers, not video making youtubers I rather like Vegan Atheist Big Grin ) , the kind of youtube that 'promote' Veganism in a what they think is a 'good light' when most I've talked to are horrible people.

At least you don' think I'm horrible, normally I only do that when I'm beyond frustrated with the other person.

(Forgive the repeat I had to edit something as I'm a person who hates the smallest spelling error if I can find it in my comments and my computer went weird)

"Governments don't want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking That is against their interests.
They want obedient workers people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork And just dumb enough to passively accept it."

- George Carlin
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