Here goes...
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
28-09-2016, 12:44 AM
RE: Here goes...
(27-09-2016 04:58 PM)Grasshopper Wrote:  I usually stay out of this forum, because I just have no words for stuff like this. Make whatever decision you have to make, and may it turn out well. I hope you'll be with us for a long time, because you're a good guy. Whatever happens, though, you have lived a richer life than a lot of people (me included -- my life is downright boring next to yours).

Yeah, me too, GH...I never really thought about being the one posting something like this before. It really makes you...feel. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Thanks! Yes
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes The Dark One's post
28-09-2016, 01:37 AM
RE: Here goes...
Quote:I'm uncomfortable with the "thank you for your service" thing, always have been...but the thought is appreciated.

You don't have to answer, but if I may ask... why does it make you uncomfortable?

I'm not really sure, but I've discussed it with friends, and it makes most of us uncomfortable. Not unappreciative, just uncomfortable. I think, and it's just a sort of educated guess, that it has to do with two things...at least for me. One, I didn't join for thank you's. I joined for alot of reasons, and protecting my country and its interests was on the list, but it wasn't on the top of the list. After seeing and doing some of the things I've seen and done, it became the main reason, but when I signed up for OTS, it was much more about testing myself, and flying the cool planes, and family tradition, and traveling, than it was anything less tangible. I think on some level I feel guilty for my early motivations.
And two, I had a blast. Even with the bad things, I loved it. It's the most amazing camaraderie you can possibly experience, there are alot of tangible benefits, you get the rare opportunity to really find out what you are made of, what makes you tick...and you get access to experiences unavailable anywhere else.
I guess I already feel like I've been thanked.

Quote:So I am always sure to say thank you-- especially when that service resulted in injury, either mental or physical. Or both.
I appreciate that...but Richard paid the price. I just covered the gratuity. What happened was so random, so purposeless. I think it would be better if I dove on a grenade or died taking out a sam site or something...I don't know. Besides the obvious, I just have this sort of, I don't know...dissatisfaction?



Quote:will tell you that no matter how careful you are, no matter how much you try to pay 100% attention 100% of the time, stuff will always slip by and bite you.
See, that's just it...we weren't training...I mean, sort of, we got permission to make Rich an IP, but the AF didn't ask him to be one, we finagled it. We were really doing a favor for the t&e guys, because their smaller projects didn't warrant a dedicated airframe. Without us, they'd have to wait for a test flight with room on the card, or for enough smaller items to warrant an airframe being assigned. It was all rather back door and almost cheating the system.

Quote:You'd want him to know that you went out doing what you loved.

Well so did he.

Yeah, I know all of this stuff, but I know it intellectually. I don't know if I really believe it or not. I honestly can't quite pin down my feelings when it comes to Rich. I'm his daughter's godfather, and the closest I've ever come to really talking about my innermost thoughts was with her. Right before she left for college, we went to dinner, and then had a long talk, not the first but most definitely the deepest. She can rip my chest open and bare my...whatever passes for soul. She is a great kid- I'm so thankful that neither she nor her mother ever blamed me. It was a component failure in the engine, but I blamed me, so I'm sure they could have found a way. But her mamma was by my bed as soon as they would let people in, and she would come cheer me on in physical therapy, while I was learning to walk again. (I really don't remember it being that hard the first time) She even tried to hold my hand during the twice a week wound debridement, but she got violently ill and had to leave. Sure wish I could have...!

I appreciate the thoughts and comments and offers, brother. I'm not very good at taking people up on stuff like that, but I'll put ya in my rolodex for "oh shit" purposes. You never know. Wink

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...I'm starting to nod off, and it's only 0230! Miracles never happen. But I never fall asleep this early! I think i'll try to take advantage of it.

Ciao, bro
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes The Dark One's post
28-09-2016, 01:54 AM
RE: Here goes...
Quote:I never made it to Viet Nam, though it was a going enterprise when I joined in '72. People thank me for my service, but I spent more time fighting with other service members than I did the enemy (I didn't pick the fights, BTW). I joined the Navy to see the world, and never made it overseas, despite (or more likely, because of) being on 3 different ships in those 4 years.

I should get you together with one of my brothers- the only one to join the navy. Same time frame. He dropped out of 3rd year of college to join up, because a pos recruiter told him he would guarantee him computer programming- all mainframes at this time. He ended up in the boiler room of the U.S.S. King, a Farragut-class guided missile destroyer.
He did his hitch, got out, finished college, was accepted into navy ocs, then flight, and ended up an A-6 driver without a war. He went into computers early, and did quite well for himself, he's retired now. But today, in 2016, you get a few beers in him and he starts cursing that recruiter and those bastards that gave up before he could get in there and win the war for 'em.

I think the two of you might have a few things to talk about. Smile
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
28-09-2016, 09:02 AM
RE: Here goes...
(27-09-2016 04:45 PM)The Dark One Wrote:  
(27-09-2016 10:55 AM)Marozz Wrote:  Cool pictures. It must be a mad buzz to fly those machines. When I lived in the Netherlands I used to enjoy watching F16's flying over. The best one I saw was a flyby with two F16's and a Spitfire followed by an old B25 - Mitchell bomber. I also saw a display by a Canadian Airforce F18. The guy was nuts and scared the shit out of the crowd.

It's the absolute best thing in the world. You feel like you are a superhero, I guess, in a way...faster than a speeding bullet- alot faster, actually, than most bullets. Able to leap tall buildings...well yeah, and then some....stronger than a locomotive...I dunno about stronger, but I can blow one to hell, make metal confetti out of it.

You're in a machine that can bring the apocalypse, you can ride it to the edge of space if you want to...you ARE shock and awe, all by yourself. There's nothing in the sky that you can't beat, or protect. I still can't believe the government trusted ME with all of that power. If they knew some of the stuff I did as a teenager...GaspBlush

Too late, they can't take it back now. Big Grin

Whenever you have time.

What do you think of the F-35? Is it everything it's advertised to be? Do the Russians have an answer?

We have to remember that what we observe is not nature herself, but nature exposed to our method of questioning ~ Werner Heisenberg
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
28-09-2016, 02:03 PM
RE: Here goes...
Quote:Whenever you have time.
Sorry?

Quote:What do you think of the F-35? Is it everything it's advertised to be? Do the Russians have an answer?

I had nothing to do with the aircraft, and don't even have any inside information on it...I try to network pretty thoroughly and this plane has just remained a black hole for me. Since defense contractors love to let their successes "slip" and hide their failures with their very lives...this concerns me. Coupled with the same things you've probably read, I fear the plane is a giant mistake.

I am a proponent of the "Silent Eagle" program, which I thought showed tremendous promise, but I am somewhat biased- but then again I do have more specialized and complete knowledge about the base aircraft.

I suppose we'll all find out. I pity the pilots who have to discover the band-aids always hidden on new designs that fell under intense public scrutiny. Fingers crossed for them. Check six, fellas.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like The Dark One's post
28-09-2016, 05:16 PM
RE: Here goes...
That's a heavy load, good to share it with us. My sister's husband was a firefighter. A wall fell on him in 1975, crushing several vertebrae and cutting his spinal cord function mid shoulder.
He has had several careers since then and retired from teaching high school math a few years ago.
Today they are visiting our friends in the UK.
I'd take Dom's advice and go for it. You will get back.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like skyking's post
28-09-2016, 07:35 PM
RE: Here goes...
That is a wondrous and tragic life that you have lived. You have seen and done things that I can only dream of and survived horrors that I hope to never properly understand. I would not wish the choice that you face on my worst enemy.

I can't help but notice that you are a hard bastard to kill. Burning jet fuel didn't do the trick. I can't imagine that they've bred surgeons with enough thumbs to do you in.

And yes, those planes are gorgeous, though I'm partial to spacecraft myself. Sadly, I'll never come closer to pilotting either than flying shotgun in a twin otter. I was born with some faulty wiring that means no flight school will ever let me in the door.

They say that there are no guarantees in life but I will make you this one. The future is not what we expect.

It might be a horror. No sense pretending otherwise. Hard to miss that from where you're standing now.

It might be a wonder. Impossible to know until we get there. It'll likely manage to be both.

What if you're the granddad who gets pestered to come to school for show-and-tell on account of your cool cybernetic parts?

---
Flesh and blood of a dead star, slain in the apocalypse of supernova, resurrected by four billion years of continuous autocatalytic reaction and crowned with the emergent property of sentience in the dream that the universe might one day understand itself.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
28-09-2016, 08:03 PM
RE: Here goes...
Shit, an airplane couldn't kill you, you gonna let a little pain finish the job?

Lose the leg, keep the breath.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 5 users Like Thumpalumpacus's post
28-09-2016, 11:49 PM
RE: Here goes...
Yeah...I think that stuff all sounds right, and that its what I need to do, just power through, you know? I really come close to telling my wife I think I have come to a decision...and then I go look at the websites on disarticulation again.

See, initially, I wanted this to be a joint decision, between my wife and I. She thought that was sweet. She doesn't have much experience with shitty decisions, there's nothing sweet about it...she researched disarticulation and came to me in tears. She said there was no way she could be a part of this decision, but that she would respect whatever I decided. If I decided to have the surgery she would take care of me, etc. She just couldn't be a part of that decision process.

Pain isn't the problem- hell, I live with a crap ton of pain now. Zohydro and some norco for breakthrough and I'm right as rain. I'm on enough opiates to drop a normal person in their tracks, probably forever, but if you take em for pain you don't get addicted or high, so I function fine. But as these infections stop responding to the antibiotics...and this last round was close, I wasn't sure I was going to make it out of there...disarticulation looks like the only way to survive, maybe survive, that is. But even if I live through the surgery- and they have to successfully tie off several major arteries- living without a hip or leg sucks. Its really hard on the structure of your body- you can't even sit, anymore. They say small, light weight, petite people have an easier time, but it's still considered 100 times harder than just a leg amputation. I'm 6', 235 pounds, 7% body fat. I have never in my life been called petite. Figures. I guess I could be 6'4.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
29-09-2016, 12:08 AM
RE: Here goes...
(28-09-2016 11:49 PM)The Dark One Wrote:  Yeah...I think that stuff all sounds right, and that its what I need to do, just power through, you know? I really come close to telling my wife I think I have come to a decision...and then I go look at the websites on disarticulation again.

See, initially, I wanted this to be a joint decision, between my wife and I. She thought that was sweet. She doesn't have much experience with shitty decisions, there's nothing sweet about it...she researched disarticulation and came to me in tears. She said there was no way she could be a part of this decision, but that she would respect whatever I decided. If I decided to have the surgery she would take care of me, etc. She just couldn't be a part of that decision process.

Pain isn't the problem- hell, I live with a crap ton of pain now. Zohydro and some norco for breakthrough and I'm right as rain. I'm on enough opiates to drop a normal person in their tracks, probably forever, but if you take em for pain you don't get addicted or high, so I function fine. But as these infections stop responding to the antibiotics...and this last round was close, I wasn't sure I was going to make it out of there...disarticulation looks like the only way to survive, maybe survive, that is. But even if I live through the surgery- and they have to successfully tie off several major arteries- living without a hip or leg sucks. Its really hard on the structure of your body- you can't even sit, anymore. They say small, light weight, petite people have an easier time, but it's still considered 100 times harder than just a leg amputation. I'm 6', 235 pounds, 7% body fat. I have never in my life been called petite. Figures. I guess I could be 6'4.

One rule.

Do you.

Whatever that may be, survive or live or inspire or hang on or lead or follow.

Or just be and love.

Whatever you need to do, just do you. It's understood.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: