Hi all. Atheist from OK.
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
10-05-2013, 06:23 PM
Bug Hi all. Atheist from OK.
Hi everyone. Good to be here.

Id like to start out by saying, I love Seth's podcast. My long commute to work is my favorite time for me to relax and listen to some intelligent and enlightening discussion with the podcast! Thank you Seth.

This may be a tad long, so bear with me.

I was born into a semi-religious home, in a very religious part of the country. Eastern Oklahoma. While semi-religious is better than fanatical religious, by the time I was 8 or so, my parents had went the evangelical/Pentecostal route and had became much more devout. Dragging me to church every Sunday morning and night as well as Wednesday nights and revivals.

Before that point, my grandparents would take me to church when my parents wouldn't go. I loved my grandparents dearly. While they believed in something I can no longer accept as true, they we're the embodiment of the "ideal" grandparents you sometimes see in those heartwarming movies on ABC family and the likes. lol While they must have helped some with my indoctrination, they loved me and I them so, that I cannot find fault in it. They truly thought they were doing it for my "soul". Even if I had stopped believing before they died, I would not have let them know I was a non-believer. If it brought them peace that they thought they would see me in some afterlife, then I would have let them believe that.

At any rate, as I said earlier, my parents got some old time religion and decided to indoctrinate their kids as best they could. I didn't like church. I believed what they taught me because I was an impressionable kid...hell I believed in santa clause too. But it bored me to tears. I did however start soaking up the bull they preached night after night. The same sermons put different ways time after time. At some point in my early teens I was old enough to start asking questions. Innocent, curiosity questions. I truly believed in all of it, but some parts didn't make sense. I also remember times when I would be setting outside at peace as a teen, pondering life and religion. I remember asking "god" to show himself...just to me. He didnt have to do some grand gesture across the sky for all, just something only I could see and could have no doubt it was him. I also remember there being nothing. Ever. Yet, my "faith" prevailed.

I would ask my dad bible questions and a majority of the time, he wouldn't know the answers. If it stumped him good enough or he thought it may shake my faith, he would actually get angry at me for asking. I always had questions from that point. I wanted to understand and know what I was supposed to preach to others. Little did I know that my curiosity would set me free of the nonsense of the bible.

Years passed and I got married in my early 20s. My now ex-wife and I never attended church as I still didnt like setting through repetitive sermons, but loved sky daddy very much. I had anxiety problems that had exploded around that time, (fear of death and disease for some reason) which lead me to my most fanatical time. I remember pacing around my living room at night with a bible in hand praying aloud for guidance. This happened a lot. I finally got a handle over my anxiety over time and so the religious fervor slowed some.

My wife cheated and we divorced after a couple of years. I moved out and found a new job and girlfriend. A couple of years passed and I ended up moving back home to the house I grew up in. (parents moved out and bought a new home) I was in my mid-late 20s by this point around 2010 or so.

2010 or so is when thing started changing for me. I remember I believed in Christianity, and would get in arguments with atheists on websites, only to find myself angry that I couldn't defend my faith against such logic. I found myself avoiding youtube videos with men like Dawkins, Hitchens and the likes in them because they made me fear....fear I was wrong. Fear that in my doubt, I was letting "tha debbil" get to me.

Finally the point came when I made a pact with myself. I told myself, "self, If god loves me so, then he wont send me to hell for searching for truth. If my beliefs are true and my religion is the correct one, then it should stand up to the scrutiny of mere men and I have nothing to worry about."

So there I went. I finally opened myself to listen to the other sides arguments with an open mind, fully believing that my faith was justified.....Only to see it fall around me like the house of cards it was. I wont say it happened fast, but day after day I started seeing my indoctrination for what it was. I had been fooled. Not intentionally, but fooled none the less. I still havent came full out to my parents. Although I think they know just from some of my facebook ramblings. I have had a cousin "scold" me for "knowing better" and friends delete me for my lack of belief in their god. They scream "christian persecution!" yet the moment they find out you believe in one less god than they....the are the most guilty of persecuting.

They seem to think that I never really believed or, the devil got me. Both are false. I know the bible better than a majority of them and as far as the devil...if the devil is logic and reason...then yes. If its an invisible and magical bad guy, then no.

Im not a good purveyor of my thoughts and apologize to those trying to read this. Hobo Im glad to find a community of like minded people, free of the bondage of religion! Thanks!
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
10-05-2013, 06:40 PM
RE: Hi all. Atheist from OK.
Even though you are from a slime-state that sucked away the 41 year legacy of a proud and storied NBA franchise, I welcome thee. Tongue

"All that is necessary for the triumph of Calvinism is that good Atheists do nothing." ~Eric Oh My
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Erxomai's post
10-05-2013, 06:45 PM
RE: Hi all. Atheist from OK.
HA! Thunder UP! Wink

I was a sonic's fan even before the move and name change though! Shawn Kemp was a boss. Smile Thanks for the welcome!
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Temple's post
10-05-2013, 06:49 PM
RE: Hi all. Atheist from OK.
(10-05-2013 06:45 PM)Temple Wrote:  HA! Thunder UP! Wink

I was a sonic's fan even before the move and name change though! Shawn Kemp was a boss. Smile Thanks for the welcome!


Well then in the spirit of conciliation, I offer you the Rainman's Top Ten Tomahawk Dunks! Big Grin




"All that is necessary for the triumph of Calvinism is that good Atheists do nothing." ~Eric Oh My
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Erxomai's post
14-05-2013, 07:29 AM
RE: Hi all. Atheist from OK.
Welcome from Louisiana.

[Image: vjp09.gif]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: