Hi guys *handshakes all around*
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22-03-2014, 07:41 AM
RE: Hi guys *handshakes all around*
(22-03-2014 07:34 AM)LadyDay Wrote:  
(22-03-2014 07:27 AM)WitchSabrina Wrote:  Just tell her that the meanies sort of hide in the shadows waiting for someone to say something stupid. Actually - ANY of us are capable of being downright mean when Stupid raises it's ugly mug.Laugh out load

Welcome (again) Lady Day --- hope you're happy here!
ThumbsupThumbsup

Good. I'm counting on you guys to point it out to me if I'm being stupid! Big Grin Otherwise, how would I learn?! Rolleyes

Thanks Witchy, I am enjoying myself immensely! So apparently I haven't been too unforgivably stupid yet. Cool

Damn, I do seem to have an emoticon fetish though Dodgy


Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Couldn't make me happier. So...now it's not just me polluting threads with emotions, pics and general schmoochiness!!!

Buwwaaahaaa[Image: cacklesmiley.gif]

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22-03-2014, 07:49 AM
RE: Hi guys *handshakes all around*
(22-03-2014 07:41 AM)WitchSabrina Wrote:  
(22-03-2014 07:34 AM)LadyDay Wrote:  Good. I'm counting on you guys to point it out to me if I'm being stupid! Big Grin Otherwise, how would I learn?! Rolleyes

Thanks Witchy, I am enjoying myself immensely! So apparently I haven't been too unforgivably stupid yet. Cool

Damn, I do seem to have an emoticon fetish though Dodgy


Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Couldn't make me happier. So...now it's not just me polluting threads with emotions, pics and general schmoochiness!!!

Buwwaaahaaa[Image: cacklesmiley.gif]

General schmoochiness makes people happy Heart
It's not our fault we're so damn cute! Hug

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22-03-2014, 08:03 AM
RE: Hi guys *handshakes all around*
(22-03-2014 07:23 AM)LadyDay Wrote:  Awwwww. Male bonding Blush

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What are you thinking. And the picture is for the lols.

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25-03-2014, 02:48 PM
RE: Hi guys *handshakes all around*
Hi leftymii.
Thankyou so much for sharing your story! It means a lot to me to meet people who can relate to the process of leaving a religion!
I have heard about the "bible belt" in the southern parts of the US. And as far as I understand, parts the deep south remains the areas of the US with the most racism aswell right? Sounds like you got dealt a pretty unfortunate hand there girl getting to be in two minorities! You can be very proud of yourself for letting yourself be who you are and not get scared off by diversity! You can't hide the color of your skin and pretend to be white to avoid racism, but you can hide your belief system and pretend to be religious to avoid persecution on that ground. The fact that you're voicing your opinions and open about that is awesome!

I am fortunate to live in one of the most secular countries in the world. Here in Denmark, it's opposite from where you live really. You stand out if you are religious beyond the level of 'I think there's probably more out there than we can see'. Outside the small, rather closed, religious communities, being an atheist really doesn't raise an eyebrow. It's if you're religious you're the odd one out!
My skin is also so ridiculously white I was nicknamed Caspar the Friendly Ghost by an African-American friend who thought my natural ability to be well camouflaged in snow is pretty hilarious! Laugh out load So I'm not in a minority on that account either.
I'm bisexual, which puts me in a minority, but that's not really a problem in little Denmark either.
This is a pretty awesome place to live actually! You get tired of Gods Own Country, you're welcome to come over here, we'd be happy to have you! Big Grin

My family all know I'm an atheist. I can understand your hesitation to tell your parents, because it's a painful thing! The deep pain it caused my parents, due to their firm believe that I am now bound for eternal damnation, makes me very sad and I wish I could take that hurt away from them. They are not bad people. They are very good, loving people who always have the best attention and want the best for me and the world! They were brought up in the same religion as me and were indoctrinated themselves. However, when I told them, they told me they really already knew and that they still loved me just as much. I did get a bunch of preaching in the beginning, hoping to win me back to the religion, but that ceased pretty quickly. They wanted to respect my choice and realized it didn't make a difference anyway. I'm sure if you told your parents they'd also tell you they already had a pretty good idea and that their love for you does not depend on your beliefs Smile But there is no pressure for you to tell them until you feel you need or want to do so.

I'm glad to hear you're doing great and enjoying life! This freedom to think for ourselves thing is really awesome! I am however sorry to hear how sad and terrible experiences you had, getting you here. I hope you've found that atheism not just makes better sense of the bad things in the world, but also highlights and brings out the many good and beautiful things in the world for you Smile

Hug
[/quote]

No problem! I love to share my experiences. The funny thing is that with my experiences in the south, I really haven't experienced racism. In fact, my closest friends are white lol. Most (emphasis on most) people down here have let go of that especially younger generations. But I'm speaking for Virginia/North Carolina/South Carolina. I'm not sure about Alabama, Texas, etc. And then you have certain cities within the south that are more liberal like Austin, TX, Columbia, SC, etc. I grew up in the Raleigh/Durham area of North Carolina which is surrounded by great Universities. Usually areas here like these are more tolerant or different people. It's when I went to a rural area of my state for college that I felt how strong the religious presence was and then I was like "geez these people need to calm down":D Still no racism problems though! There's many different races at my school. I guess the hardest thing about being a black atheist is that most black people are NOT atheist and are very devout. Most atheists in the US are white or Asian so it can be a little uncomfortable being one of the only few of your kind. And it can be hard to relate to other blacks on a deeper level (at first). I'm over it now though. Smile As long as I'm surrounded by people who love me for who I am, I'm happy.
I have a feeling my parents will react the way yours did. Although I'm straight, they both know how much I support gay marriage and gay rights and how I think it's wrong to deny other people liberties just because your book says "it's bad."
If you don't mind answering this question, when did you tell your parents you were bisexual? Have they kind of always known, did you tell them before you came out as atheist, or at the same time? Just curious!
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25-03-2014, 03:47 PM
RE: Hi guys *handshakes all around*
(25-03-2014 02:48 PM)leftymii323 Wrote:  No problem! I love to share my experiences. The funny thing is that with my experiences in the south, I really haven't experienced racism. In fact, my closest friends are white lol. Most (emphasis on most) people down here have let go of that especially younger generations. But I'm speaking for Virginia/North Carolina/South Carolina. I'm not sure about Alabama, Texas, etc. And then you have certain cities within the south that are more liberal like Austin, TX, Columbia, SC, etc. I grew up in the Raleigh/Durham area of North Carolina which is surrounded by great Universities. Usually areas here like these are more tolerant or different people. It's when I went to a rural area of my state for college that I felt how strong the religious presence was and then I was like "geez these people need to calm down":D Still no racism problems though! There's many different races at my school. I guess the hardest thing about being a black atheist is that most black people are NOT atheist and are very devout. Most atheists in the US are white or Asian so it can be a little uncomfortable being one of the only few of your kind. And it can be hard to relate to other blacks on a deeper level (at first). I'm over it now though. Smile As long as I'm surrounded by people who love me for who I am, I'm happy.
I have a feeling my parents will react the way yours did. Although I'm straight, they both know how much I support gay marriage and gay rights and how I think it's wrong to deny other people liberties just because your book says "it's bad."
If you don't mind answering this question, when did you tell your parents you were bisexual? Have they kind of always known, did you tell them before you came out as atheist, or at the same time? Just curious!

I'm glad to hear you haven't experienced much racism. I've never actually been to the US, so I am just going by what I hear. The US being such a multi-ethnic country, it is also about time that skin color becomes a non-issue.
I guess I'm rather interested in the topic of racism because it has become a big topic in Denmark lately unfortunately. I wouldn't say that Danes are badly racist, but a lot of Danes are very scared of people from other cultures. In Denmark only about 2% of the population have a different heritage than danish, and those two percent are fairly recent immigrants, who haven't been danish for a bunch of generations like most African-Americans. Unfortunately the cultural divide this creates creates some friction that, while not based directly on skin color, but culture, is just as problematic. It makes me terribly sad when my friends struggle to get jobs or get into nightclubs or generally be trusted just because their name is arabic sounding or other stupid things like that.
Denmark is a tiny (6 million people) country where everything is extremely homogenous and almost everyone is pretty much the same, so I think it's a hard country to stand out too much in culture wise. It is all good that our culture is secular and considers equal rights for gays a natural part of out culture and image of normality, that doesn't mean we can decide that our culture is superior to other cultures and be scared and closed towards people who think differently! That is never acceptable!
So I am happy to know that you aren't automatically defined by your skin color in the US anymore, because maybe that means there's a chance this shameful part of Denmark will diminish and we will learn the joy of a multi-national nation with a range of cultures and stop being a country famously suspicious towards other cultures!

I've actually heard before that it is extra unusual to be a secular american if your are black. I wonder where that comes from? Any theories?

I hope you don't mind my curiosity! Smile The US is such a huge, diverse, far away country, yet such a big influence even on our life and culture over here on this side of our little planet. So it's cool whenever you can learn about the life of the american from better sources than Hollywood! Big Grin And it's especially interesting to learn about what it's really like to be a minority in the US (no matter if the minority is based on religion, race or sexuality), since some bad stories make their way over here. And since american culture has a way of seeping into european culture, it's nice to know what we risk inheriting Laugh out load

I don't mind you asking questions about my coming out about my sexuality or anything else about it for that matter. It's something I enjoy finally getting to be open about after so many years of hiding it!
Actually, when it comes to my family, I have only told my mother the whole thing. I told her fairly shortly after I "came out as an atheist". Guess I figured I might as well get it all out in the open while I was at it! Tongue But while they already basically knew about my atheism, my sexuality came as a surprise to her. Growing up a christian, I always denied myself that part of my sexuality. When I hit my teens I started having crushes on both boys and girls. I freaked out about the crushes on girls and tried to ignore them and put all my focus on the crushes on boys, since I knew those were "normal" and "to be expected". As my sexuality developed, I tried very hard to force it into heterosexuality. I didn't have too many female friends, expecially cute ones, since I got dead scared of girls (girls were dangerous since you might develop sinful feelings for them)! This meant that my parents never actually noticed. One of my mums first comments after I told her (after giving me a big hug and telling me she loved me and also that she was now even more happy about my utterly male boyfriend) was that she was surprised since I'd never spend that much time around girls. Laugh out load True, because I was trying to avoid sinful crushes! Blink
She asked me to please not tell my dad or my sisters, since they were already struggling so much with my turning my back on christianity. I regret a bit now that I promised not to tell them, and I haven't told them, though it's pretty clear from my Facebook profile unless you are very actively ignoring the contend of links I share and the huge bisexual flag at the top Big Grin
When it comes to everyone else, all my friends know and that was easy to tell since I don't have very many religious friends left. Among by far most Danes, being a sexual minority is a non-issue! I expect it's like you explain your experience in the US. Mostly it's not "different enough to be noticed really". It's not something mysterious or unusual or strange. It's just a part of normality. So it wasn't too hard to overcome my fears on that account and with each positive reaction and each person who didn't change their behavior towards me after learning about my sexuality, it became easier. I'm still nervous that people are going to treat me different when they find out, but the non-religious are always great about it :-)

Damn I use a lot of words!!! I really need to learn to make my posts "short and sweet"! Facepalm
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25-03-2014, 03:55 PM
RE: Hi guys *handshakes all around*
(25-03-2014 03:47 PM)LadyDay Wrote:  
(25-03-2014 02:48 PM)leftymii323 Wrote:  No problem! I love to share my experiences. The funny thing is that with my experiences in the south, I really haven't experienced racism. In fact, my closest friends are white lol. Most (emphasis on most) people down here have let go of that especially younger generations. But I'm speaking for Virginia/North Carolina/South Carolina. I'm not sure about Alabama, Texas, etc. And then you have certain cities within the south that are more liberal like Austin, TX, Columbia, SC, etc. I grew up in the Raleigh/Durham area of North Carolina which is surrounded by great Universities. Usually areas here like these are more tolerant or different people. It's when I went to a rural area of my state for college that I felt how strong the religious presence was and then I was like "geez these people need to calm down":D Still no racism problems though! There's many different races at my school. I guess the hardest thing about being a black atheist is that most black people are NOT atheist and are very devout. Most atheists in the US are white or Asian so it can be a little uncomfortable being one of the only few of your kind. And it can be hard to relate to other blacks on a deeper level (at first). I'm over it now though. Smile As long as I'm surrounded by people who love me for who I am, I'm happy.
I have a feeling my parents will react the way yours did. Although I'm straight, they both know how much I support gay marriage and gay rights and how I think it's wrong to deny other people liberties just because your book says "it's bad."
If you don't mind answering this question, when did you tell your parents you were bisexual? Have they kind of always known, did you tell them before you came out as atheist, or at the same time? Just curious!

I'm glad to hear you haven't experienced much racism. I've never actually been to the US, so I am just going by what I hear. The US being such a multi-ethnic country, it is also about time that skin color becomes a non-issue.
I guess I'm rather interested in the topic of racism because it has become a big topic in Denmark lately unfortunately. I wouldn't say that Danes are badly racist, but a lot of Danes are very scared of people from other cultures. In Denmark only about 2% of the population have a different heritage than danish, and those two percent are fairly recent immigrants, who haven't been danish for a bunch of generations like most African-Americans. Unfortunately the cultural divide this creates creates some friction that, while not based directly on skin color, but culture, is just as problematic. It makes me terribly sad when my friends struggle to get jobs or get into nightclubs or generally be trusted just because their name is arabic sounding or other stupid things like that.
Denmark is a tiny (6 million people) country where everything is extremely homogenous and almost everyone is pretty much the same, so I think it's a hard country to stand out too much in culture wise. It is all good that our culture is secular and considers equal rights for gays a natural part of out culture and image of normality, that doesn't mean we can decide that our culture is superior to other cultures and be scared and closed towards people who think differently! That is never acceptable!
So I am happy to know that you aren't automatically defined by your skin color in the US anymore, because maybe that means there's a chance this shameful part of Denmark will diminish and we will learn the joy of a multi-national nation with a range of cultures and stop being a country famously suspicious towards other cultures!

Jeg vil veldig gjerne diskutere med deg hva du synes om innvandrings politikken i Danmark; Jeg hørte at det stammet seg til det siste, eller det har vel strammet seg til helt siden alle de folka gikk bananas takket være de derre Mohammed tegningene.

Håper du skjønner nok av norsken min!

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25-03-2014, 05:07 PM
RE: Hi guys *handshakes all around*
(25-03-2014 03:55 PM)ELK12695 Wrote:  Jeg vil veldig gjerne diskutere med deg hva du synes om innvandrings politikken i Danmark; Jeg hørte at det stammet seg til det siste, eller det har vel strammet seg til helt siden alle de folka gikk bananas takket være de derre Mohammed tegningene.

Håper du skjønner nok av norsken min!

Jeg er frisk Thumbsup Jeg er dog ikke ligefrem ekspert på området. Eventuelt i private beskeder? Ihvertfald hvis det skal være på norsk/dansk Big Grin
Jeg kan sagtens læse norsk. Kan du også fint forstå mit danske?
Det kan være jeg også kan lære noget om norsk indvandrepolitik!

Som hovedregel mener jeg dansk indvandrerpolitik er blevet alt for stram. Jeg mener vi burde lægge os mere op af resten af Europa. Vi har ikke været gode til at skabe succesfuld integration i Danmark og danskere her en tendens til at mene at alt der er danskt er godt og at markant anderledes kulturer er lidt farlige.
Jeg tror vi skal putte mange flere kræfter i både integration og åbenhed.
Naturligvis er det ikke ok at bryde dansk lovgivning og naturligvis skal vi holde fast i og være stolte af vores ytringsfrihed og at vi er et meget sekulært land. Jeg mener ikke der var noget galt i Mohammed tegningerne, ligesom jeg ikke finder mig i religiøs censur fra kristen side vil jeg heller ikke finde mig i det fra islam.
Men jeg mener ikke vi bare kan lukke vores land og gøre det til et ubehageligt sted for udlændinge at være af den årsag. Vi tager ikke skade af at blive mere multikultirelle!
Jeg forventer at enhver indvandrer (flygtning har naturligvis ret til særbehandling fordi de er kommet under særlige, traumatiske omstændigheder) til det danske samfund bidrager positivt efter evne til vores samfund, overholder landets love, betaler skat og er villige til at passe et arbejde og respekterer vores kultur. Det er givet. Jeg forventer akkurat det samme af etniske danskere. Jeg bliver naturligvis ked af det og vred når jeg ser fundamentalistiske muslimske indvandre prædike at Danmark er et forfærdeligt, syndigt land og at vi burde indrette os efter islamisk lovgivning. Men det er heldigvis de færreste! Alle de indvandrer jeg kender er skønne og ærlige mennesker der er glade for at bo her og glade for samfundet. Og jeg er glade for at de er her og for at få noget kultur ude fra den store verden til lille Danmark!

Skriv en pb og fortæl mig lidt om situationen i Norge og om dit indtryk af den danske politik Smile
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28-03-2014, 09:48 AM
RE: Hi guys *handshakes all around*
I never properly welcome you...

so...

Welcome to TTA! Big Grin

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28-03-2014, 10:02 AM
RE: Hi guys *handshakes all around*
Thankyou KC. It's already obvious that it's a great forum!
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01-04-2014, 03:32 PM
RE: Hi guys *handshakes all around*
(25-03-2014 03:47 PM)LadyDay Wrote:  I'm glad to hear you haven't experienced much racism. I've never actually been to the US, so I am just going by what I hear. The US being such a multi-ethnic country, it is also about time that skin color becomes a non-issue.
I guess I'm rather interested in the topic of racism because it has become a big topic in Denmark lately unfortunately. I wouldn't say that Danes are badly racist, but a lot of Danes are very scared of people from other cultures. In Denmark only about 2% of the population have a different heritage than danish, and those two percent are fairly recent immigrants, who haven't been danish for a bunch of generations like most African-Americans. Unfortunately the cultural divide this creates creates some friction that, while not based directly on skin color, but culture, is just as problematic. It makes me terribly sad when my friends struggle to get jobs or get into nightclubs or generally be trusted just because their name is arabic sounding or other stupid things like that.
Denmark is a tiny (6 million people) country where everything is extremely homogenous and almost everyone is pretty much the same, so I think it's a hard country to stand out too much in culture wise. It is all good that our culture is secular and considers equal rights for gays a natural part of out culture and image of normality, that doesn't mean we can decide that our culture is superior to other cultures and be scared and closed towards people who think differently! That is never acceptable!
So I am happy to know that you aren't automatically defined by your skin color in the US anymore, because maybe that means there's a chance this shameful part of Denmark will diminish and we will learn the joy of a multi-national nation with a range of cultures and stop being a country famously suspicious towards other cultures!

I've actually heard before that it is extra unusual to be a secular american if your are black. I wonder where that comes from? Any theories?

I hope you don't mind my curiosity! Smile The US is such a huge, diverse, far away country, yet such a big influence even on our life and culture over here on this side of our little planet. So it's cool whenever you can learn about the life of the american from better sources than Hollywood! Big Grin And it's especially interesting to learn about what it's really like to be a minority in the US (no matter if the minority is based on religion, race or sexuality), since some bad stories make their way over here. And since american culture has a way of seeping into european culture, it's nice to know what we risk inheriting Laugh out load

I don't mind you asking questions about my coming out about my sexuality or anything else about it for that matter. It's something I enjoy finally getting to be open about after so many years of hiding it!
Actually, when it comes to my family, I have only told my mother the whole thing. I told her fairly shortly after I "came out as an atheist". Guess I figured I might as well get it all out in the open while I was at it! Tongue But while they already basically knew about my atheism, my sexuality came as a surprise to her. Growing up a christian, I always denied myself that part of my sexuality. When I hit my teens I started having crushes on both boys and girls. I freaked out about the crushes on girls and tried to ignore them and put all my focus on the crushes on boys, since I knew those were "normal" and "to be expected". As my sexuality developed, I tried very hard to force it into heterosexuality. I didn't have too many female friends, expecially cute ones, since I got dead scared of girls (girls were dangerous since you might develop sinful feelings for them)! This meant that my parents never actually noticed. One of my mums first comments after I told her (after giving me a big hug and telling me she loved me and also that she was now even more happy about my utterly male boyfriend) was that she was surprised since I'd never spend that much time around girls. Laugh out load True, because I was trying to avoid sinful crushes! Blink
She asked me to please not tell my dad or my sisters, since they were already struggling so much with my turning my back on christianity. I regret a bit now that I promised not to tell them, and I haven't told them, though it's pretty clear from my Facebook profile unless you are very actively ignoring the contend of links I share and the huge bisexual flag at the top Big Grin
When it comes to everyone else, all my friends know and that was easy to tell since I don't have very many religious friends left. Among by far most Danes, being a sexual minority is a non-issue! I expect it's like you explain your experience in the US. Mostly it's not "different enough to be noticed really". It's not something mysterious or unusual or strange. It's just a part of normality. So it wasn't too hard to overcome my fears on that account and with each positive reaction and each person who didn't change their behavior towards me after learning about my sexuality, it became easier. I'm still nervous that people are going to treat me different when they find out, but the non-religious are always great about it :-)

Damn I use a lot of words!!! I really need to learn to make my posts "short and sweet"! Facepalm

i'm also glad I haven't experienced blatant racism! lol. There are always those once in a blue moon encounters where someone looks at you or treats you in a not so nice way but you're never sure if it's about race, or they're just being an ass in general. Racism also goes both ways over here unfortunately. Either way, being black in America has been the least of my problems and I am very thankful for that. In my experience, if you're a positive kind person, you will attract people who care about you no matter what your race, sexuality, religion, or gender is. Also I am in no way trying to downplay what Africans Americans have gone through in the past because it was horrible and many especially of lower socioeconomic statuses still have a long way to go even in 2014. HOWEVER, the media loves to exaggerate and tell all of these horror stories because that's what sells. They miss the big picture. I've heard about Muslim immigration in Europe being an issue for some, is that what you're referring to? It's very similar to the way Mexicans are sometimes seen in the US. It's especially unfortunate when legal Hispanics are accused of being illegal. People have calmed down a bit but there have been issues with that especially in the past 12 years with the huge influx. Sometimes the majority has to get used to being around the minority and their opinions will change. Negative stereotypes can be a pain :-)

As for it being unusual to be a secular black person in the US (or just non religious for that matter), it is mainly because of slavery. When our ancestors were brought over from Africa, they were forced into Christianity, and ironically, they really started getting into it and their faith is how they coped with slavery. They believed that God would help them get out of their situation and all would be OK in the end. Those circumstances called for a very strong faith including singing negro spirituals, prayer, unity, and strong belief. And from then on, it became sort of an unmistakable identity. I truly believe that their faith helped them, but I still don't think it was a necessity for fighting for their rights. When you're fed up, you're fed up, and you'll do anything to change the situation no matter what you believe in. Many black Muslims are actually ex-Christians because they look at the history and realize how it was forced upon our ancestors and see it as the 'white man's religion' which was basically used oppress them and to justify having slaves (which is pretty accurate).

I'm glad that your mom was accepting of your sexuality! I'm sure the rest of your family would eventually warm up to the fact though they just have to get used to it. It's like parents even before you're born have this particular image of what their child will be like and it's generally a traditional image which is pretty unfair to both themselves and the child because as soon as something goes not as "planned", it causes sadness, friction and even in some cases estrangement. I read a book called "Bloom" by Kelle Hampton and it really opened my eyes. I can understand how hard it must have been when you were first realizing your like for girls and boys. It's so hard at that age period especially because we care about what our parents think, want to be accepted, and etc. I had all kinds of emotional issues being a Pastor's daughter period, I can only imagine how difficult it would have been at that point in my life to realize I wasn't straight or something, especially with the remarks that my family has made about things like that. So painfully ignorant. With that being said, my mother has become wayyy more liberal lately. She was born in the 60s and my dad in the 50s so things were very different back then. She wasn't necessarily a victim of racism, but there was still a lingering aura of it, and things were still pretty segregated (by socialization not law). Also, things were religious and traditional and blah blah blah. But she's changed a lot which is a great thing. I'm still working on my dad Yes But just remember that people have a great ability to change and maybe one day, your whole family will find peace with your lifestyle and your true self because they will realize that there is absolutely nothing wrong with it Smile

Let me know if you have anymore questions! I've been enjoying our convo Big Grin Have a nice day.
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