Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
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23-04-2014, 09:50 PM (This post was last modified: 23-04-2014 09:54 PM by JDog554.)
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
(23-04-2014 09:44 PM)Smercury44 Wrote:  
(23-04-2014 09:35 PM)JDog554 Wrote:  That's just asking for major trouble.

Normally I'd agree if she were a minor, but she's 18, and her mom doesn't need to know about every relationship she has, even if she is still living at home (IMHO). She can still see him in her free time, and avoid an unneeded conflict with her mom until she is in her own, and doesn't depend on her.

It could go bad if she finds out, but I don't think is rule of her mom's is worth breaking Confused

Its the fact of if she does hide it and her mother does eventually find out thats adding onto it because she will even be more upset for the lieing and hiding. Telling her, you'll get the usual, yeah it may be bad but it will be better to just say it straight out then to try and hide it and risk getting an even worse result. Like lieing to a police officer. Yeah you may get into trouble for the original law that you broke but if you lie your adding more charges onto yourself and getting yourself into more trouble.

(23-04-2014 09:45 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  
(23-04-2014 09:35 PM)JDog554 Wrote:  That's just asking for major trouble.

1.) I'll feel like shit for hiding it because I'm usually really honest and open with my mom

2.) If my mom found out I was hiding a relationship from her, especially an interracial relationship, the ending would be very bad.


As stated above lieing is only going to make the end result worse because your adding more onto it that can potientially upset her.

"If you keep trying to better yourself that's enough for me. We don't decide which hand we are dealt in life, but we make the decision to play it or fold it" - Nishi Karano Kaze
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23-04-2014, 09:50 PM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
Thank goodness 18 isnt that far away.
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23-04-2014, 09:53 PM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
(23-04-2014 09:50 PM)Hobbitgirl Wrote:  Thank goodness 18 isnt that far away.

I'm already 18. I just haven't graduated yet, and am still living under the roof of my mother. Her house, her rules. She still has a say over when I can leave my house and still asks to be identified of what I'm doing and who I'm with. She's usually pretty lenient, but all of a sudden she's become so uptight and irrational. It's almost suffocating.
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23-04-2014, 09:55 PM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
I'm almost lost for words after reading that.

I very firmly believe in self determination, and being true to yourself... But, I'm guessing you're under 18 and therefore in a position where you can't exactly just be independent and relatively unaffected by any consequences.

All I can suggest is, keeping your friendship/relationship secret from your mum for the time being... Until you can stand on your own two feet and choose your own destiny.

This might sound blunt or harsh, but personally I'd be glad to be away from a mother who threatens to disown me or kick me out because of bigoted views.

Its a tough situation... But I very much doubt you're on your own.

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23-04-2014, 09:56 PM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
(23-04-2014 09:49 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  
(23-04-2014 09:45 PM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  So ... your mom time-warped from what century ?

My mom is 51... but said she would be okay with me being a lesbian, but not being in an interracial relationship.

Well. I think you know what you have to do.

Interracial lesbianism, Ferdinand. Get on that.

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23-04-2014, 09:56 PM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
(23-04-2014 09:53 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  
(23-04-2014 09:50 PM)Hobbitgirl Wrote:  Thank goodness 18 isnt that far away.

I'm already 18. I just haven't graduated yet, and am still living under the roof of my mother. Her house, her rules. She still has a say over when I can leave my house and still asks to be identified of what I'm doing and who I'm with. She's usually pretty lenient, but all of a sudden she's become so uptight and irrational. It's almost suffocating.

Sorry... I started typing my reply before you posted that, so I assumed you were under 18.

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23-04-2014, 10:00 PM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
(23-04-2014 09:49 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  
(23-04-2014 09:45 PM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  So ... your mom time-warped from what century ?

My mom is 51... but said she would be okay with me being a lesbian, but not being in an interracial relationship.

OMG. Just get on a boat, and go live with the Plump One. Hug

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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23-04-2014, 10:01 PM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
My point is either way your mom's gonna find out and she is not gonna like it. Why make it more difficult and hide it than just getting it over with. That's my opinion though, you do whatever you feel is best, I just hope you can find the happiness you deserve.

"If you keep trying to better yourself that's enough for me. We don't decide which hand we are dealt in life, but we make the decision to play it or fold it" - Nishi Karano Kaze
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23-04-2014, 10:01 PM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
But seriously, girl, keep your head down and put up with some absolutely fucking troglodytic attitudes for the little while you'll have to. You're an adult and you're setting up your own life. You need space to let shit air, and you don't quite have that yet.

You wouldn't be the first to hide a relationship for a while; you won't be the last.

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23-04-2014, 10:09 PM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
While you are dependent on her, you are stuck with her rules or not sharing your business with her and taking a risk that she doesn't find out.

I would take this time to figure out how to be self supporting as fast as possible. Do you have any other adults in your life that you can turn to that will help you?

If you leave, put in a change of address at the post office so she doesn't screw with your college papers.

While you like this boy, I think he realized that your Mom doesn't want him at her home. Pursuing this relationship further is putting you at risk for a nightmare of problems unless you have options other than your mom.

Do you have a job? When you move to college, plan on making that town your home permanently. Get the fuck out of AL and don't look back.


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