Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
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23-04-2014, 10:13 PM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
(23-04-2014 09:53 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  
(23-04-2014 09:50 PM)Hobbitgirl Wrote:  Thank goodness 18 isnt that far away.

I'm already 18. I just haven't graduated yet, and am still living under the roof of my mother. Her house, her rules. She still has a say over when I can leave my house and still asks to be identified of what I'm doing and who I'm with. She's usually pretty lenient, but all of a sudden she's become so uptight and irrational. It's almost suffocating.

Is someone you are confiding in telling her things? Is she reading your posts?


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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23-04-2014, 10:20 PM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
I'd suggest keeping it under wraps until you can get out. If she finds out, she may simply kick you out without you having a leg to stand on. There's potentially a lot at stake. What you MIGHT do is go to DFS and say that you're living in a hostile environment. I have heard of them helping out in cases like this with funds to help the person to get out of such a situation.
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23-04-2014, 10:23 PM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
I am speechless.

Racism is ignorance at the worst. I loved two women, an Indian and a Korean. Both were and remain fantastic people and great friends.

Ferdinand, mate I have no advice to offer you. My adult life was spent around musicians, and I never met a racist musician.

The very idea that any blood line is clear of other races is idiotic anyway. After many thousands of years we do not know who bred with who. The Roman empire alone was of such mixed race that it boggles the mind.

I would sit her down and explain what a fool she is.

But that's just me.

Good luck!

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
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23-04-2014, 10:29 PM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
(23-04-2014 10:09 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  While you are dependent on her, you are stuck with her rules or not sharing your business with her and taking a risk that she doesn't find out.

I would take this time to figure out how to be self supporting as fast as possible. Do you have any other adults in your life that you can turn to that will help you?

If you leave, put in a change of address at the post office so she doesn't screw with your college papers.

While you like this boy, I think he realized that your Mom doesn't want him at her home. Pursuing this relationship further is putting you at risk for a nightmare of problems unless you have options other than your mom.

Do you have a job? When you move to college, plan on making that town your home permanently. Get the fuck out of AL and don't look back.

I don't have a job but my best friend (one of the friends that's offered to have me live with them once they move out themselves) and their parents are taking me job hunting and helping me find a job. I'll be going to community college before university so I'll still be local to my mother and family, but at least I won't be under her roof. But when I think about it, I should still probably keep it on the down low even after I move out, just so I know my mom won't try to keep my college funds from me. I have no idea how my father would react, and don't want to find out for fear that it could risk me not being able to attend college. I mean, the money's in my name though.

(23-04-2014 10:13 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  Is someone you are confiding in telling her things? Is she reading your posts?

No, whenever I go out I'm just honest to her about where I am and what not. That way she's pretty lenient in letting me go out whenever I want. It's just, if I wanted to continue a friendship with this boy or progress into a relationship, I would have to start lying to her about who I was with and where I was at.

She doesn't read my posts here. I keep my laptop login secure and she isn't very technology savvy anyways.
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23-04-2014, 10:34 PM (This post was last modified: 23-04-2014 11:48 PM by aurora.)
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
You are never going to change her mind! No offense to you but your mother is a bigoted fool with possible mental health issues.
You need to get your shit together and move out as soon as you can support yourself.
I wish there was an easier way for you ('cos I know you love your mum) but there just isn't.
I don't mean to sound uncaring ('cos you know I luv ya) but the cold hard fact is your mother will never see things the way you do.

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23-04-2014, 10:40 PM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
When you move out, have a copy of all the statements, schools, loans, etc with you. First stop is the post office, get a po box, they are cheap! Have all of those accounts send everything to your po box. Spend an hour or two calling all the customer service numbers and getting the address changed.

Start collecting all this info now, keep it in a file online so you can access it from anywhere if she takes your phone, computer or both.

Prepare for shit to hit the fan in the worst way possible, and be happy if it doesn't.

Got a friend you can trust, move some of your belongings, like clothes, and stuff she wouldn't notice, maybe ask one of your friends parents if you can keep a box or two of stuff at their house? Add a couple things like a couple bath towels, a couple kitchen towels, a couple sets of silverware, the less you have to buy in a rush, the better.


If she has kicked you out once, she will do it again. Be ready, be a step ahead of her.


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23-04-2014, 10:46 PM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
Also wanted to add that all large cities have a community college, if you have support in another city you can still do the community college route.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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23-04-2014, 10:48 PM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
The prospect of being kicked out and disowned is already hanging over your head. I hate to use the term "terrorism" here, but....

You're being manipulated and bullied in a big way.
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23-04-2014, 10:48 PM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
Maybe get an ancestral genetic test... They can trace your genes back tens of thousands of years and show how your ancestors migrated out of Africa.

If your mother realizes that we're all Africans really, and these ideas of "race" are nothing more than social constructs, maybe she'll see things differently.

That's a long shot though...

I would personally love to have the test done...

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23-04-2014, 10:53 PM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
If you want to run away I have some advice. But I fear it is out dated. (from the 70's)

If your mother is crazy you need to get the hell out asap. My crazy mother tried to bloody kill me.

That shit stays with you.

Are you in Australia?

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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