Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
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23-04-2014, 10:59 PM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
(23-04-2014 09:53 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  
(23-04-2014 09:50 PM)Hobbitgirl Wrote:  Thank goodness 18 isnt that far away.

I'm already 18. I just haven't graduated yet, and am still living under the roof of my mother. Her house, her rules. She still has a say over when I can leave my house and still asks to be identified of what I'm doing and who I'm with. She's usually pretty lenient, but all of a sudden she's become so uptight and irrational. It's almost suffocating.

Id say its time to run then! Before it gets out of hand. Gotta start making those plans girl.
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23-04-2014, 11:02 PM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
18? Get a job and get out.

You have 10 years on me and I did ok.

I would not think twice.

GONE!

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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23-04-2014, 11:11 PM (This post was last modified: 23-04-2014 11:25 PM by Bows and Arrows.)
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
6-7 weeks of school to go.

Get your papers in order, start squirreling away your things a a friends house, start lining up a job or two.

Honestly, if I were your age and in that situation, I would consider joining the Navy. Being a female you can avoid combat, being smart you can qualify for better training, they pay you, give you food and housing, pay for training, get you out of town, and you can retire in Hawaii by the time you are 40 like a friend from high school did. And you could most likely stay in the video production field.

Edited: I had to google it.
http://www.navy.com/careers/arts-educati...media.html


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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23-04-2014, 11:44 PM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
(23-04-2014 10:40 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  When you move out, have a copy of all the statements, schools, loans, etc with you. First stop is the post office, get a po box, they are cheap! Have all of those accounts send everything to your po box. Spend an hour or two calling all the customer service numbers and getting the address changed.

Start collecting all this info now, keep it in a file online so you can access it from anywhere if she takes your phone, computer or both.

Prepare for shit to hit the fan in the worst way possible, and be happy if it doesn't.

Got a friend you can trust, move some of your belongings, like clothes, and stuff she wouldn't notice, maybe ask one of your friends parents if you can keep a box or two of stuff at their house? Add a couple things like a couple bath towels, a couple kitchen towels, a couple sets of silverware, the less you have to buy in a rush, the better.


If she has kicked you out once, she will do it again. Be ready, be a step ahead of her.

Ever since the second time being kicked out, I've been on my toes. I've only been back home for maybe two weeks and I'm still walking on ice around her. It sucks.

Could you maybe PM me and help me understand what you mean by copies of statements, schools, loans, etc and the meaning for the PO box? I have my social security and birth certificate copy, I can get my school transcripts from school, but as far as anything else, I am clueless in the real world because I've never been taught or helped... unfortunately.

As far as getting my college funds, my father's side of the family put away 35k for me for college purposes. I'd get that money through my aunt. That's all the knowledge I have on that matter though.

(23-04-2014 10:48 PM)Charis Wrote:  The prospect of being kicked out and disowned is already hanging over your head. I hate to use the term "terrorism" here, but....

You're being manipulated and bullied in a big way.

I've already been kicked out twice. The first time was over my aunt stealing a vegetable scrubber. She dumped a silverware drawer over my head. An argument escalated and I was told to pack my things. She later reported me as a runaway because I was 17. I lived with a friend for a couple of weeks. The second time was recently (March, right after I turned 18) and it was due to me telling her the truth, of all things. She hit me in the face. Again, the argument escalated and I was told to pack my things. It was only a week after I turned 18 too, so it was then legal for her to kick me out. She eventually asked me to come home, but it wasn't really to work things out. It was because I have to live here in order to receive government medical insurance.

(23-04-2014 10:53 PM)Banjo Wrote:  If you want to run away I have some advice. But I fear it is out dated. (from the 70's)

If your mother is crazy you need to get the hell out asap. My crazy mother tried to bloody kill me.

That shit stays with you.

Are you in Australia?

No, unfortunately I'm in America, and in the worst state possible. Alabama.

I feel like my relationship with my mom may become better later in life. But I honestly don't know. I can only be hopeful.
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23-04-2014, 11:53 PM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
Another problem I've recently encountered dealing with this situation is telling him (the boy that all of this is about) that my mom disapproves. I mean, he had the lecture encounter with her but by the end of the night she made him feel welcome. He honestly doesn't know about any of this. I don't know how he would even respond to the situation or if he would even feel like putting up with it. I'm just scared to talk to him about it because I haven't felt this happy because of a person in a very long time. Basically, I don't want this situation to drive him off. I talked with his best friend about it, and his best friend said that he may not be up for keeping it on the down low, or that it may mildly bother him. But to my knowledge, I'm the first girl he's ever really let become par to his "bubble" and he does care about me. I just worry about approaching such a tiresomely annoying and depressing topic: "Yeah my mom doesn't approve of the color of your skin so we'll have to sneak around."

It just really bums and stresses me out that all of this is happening.
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24-04-2014, 12:51 AM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
Oh Ferdi this whole thing just makes me so sad. I don't want to be insensitive but is there a specific reason you decided to stay? Could you maybe find a roommate and move out? Well anyways, it seems like you really love your mom. From other posts you've talked about how you can usually talk to her about anything, so maybe this will get better once she realizes that she can't control who you love. Or maybe you'll lick out and end up falling in love with someone she approves of. Either way I hope you're never afraid to let yourself love who you end up loving. If it's someone she doesn't approve of she will hopefully get over it in time. Love you Ferdi Heart Hug

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Swing with me forever, we can count up every flower, we can weather every storm.
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24-04-2014, 04:52 AM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
Ferdi,
Since you couldn't take your laptop last time you got kicked out, make sure that you have anything that you want/need on flash drives or email pictures pictures and things to yourself so you can get to them.

Just thinking out loud.

Hope you can just get through graduation and then get out.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat

Are my Chakras on straight?
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24-04-2014, 04:58 AM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
Too bad you are not in Australia. I need an assisstant.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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24-04-2014, 05:49 AM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
(24-04-2014 12:51 AM)LostandInsecure Wrote:  Oh Ferdi this whole thing just makes me so sad. I don't want to be insensitive but is there a specific reason you decided to stay? Could you maybe find a roommate and move out? Well anyways, it seems like you really love your mom. From other posts you've talked about how you can usually talk to her about anything, so maybe this will get better once she realizes that she can't control who you love. Or maybe you'll lick out and end up falling in love with someone she approves of. Either way I hope you're never afraid to let yourself love who you end up loving. If it's someone she doesn't approve of she will hopefully get over it in time. Love you Ferdi Heart Hug

I stayed because if I'm not living with my mom, I get no medical insurance anymore. All of my medical and dental from the government stop when I turn 19. But I'm starting to realize that maybe I could do without. I do love my mom, but I could do without having to constantly walk on thin ice and have her threatening to disown me over everything I do that she disapproves of. It sucks.
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24-04-2014, 05:50 AM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
(24-04-2014 04:52 AM)Anjele Wrote:  Ferdi,
Since you couldn't take your laptop last time you got kicked out, make sure that you have anything that you want/need on flash drives or email pictures pictures and things to yourself so you can get to them.

Just thinking out loud.

Hope you can just get through graduation and then get out.

I plan on it. I have everything I need for graduation. It's just a matter of getting my stuff together and finding a job.

and also waiting on my friend to get an apartment.
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