Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
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25-04-2014, 07:30 PM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
She has classic signs of paranoia. Not good.
This has nothing to do with you and could get way worse. Be very aware of this.

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25-04-2014, 09:57 PM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
(25-04-2014 06:38 PM)Anjele Wrote:  Get your stuff together. Get your files off your computer and get ready to go as soon as school is over, if not sooner.

Things are escalating again. You know where you ended up a couple months ago. Don't wait, get ready now.

I don't think she will wait till school is over. She is looking for a fight and trying to restrict you enough that you get angry. As soon as you do, she will have her "reason"

I am so sorry you are going thru this. Hug

Don't fall for her bait, let her rant, you can piss her off more by not engaging in battle. Get your things in order.


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25-04-2014, 10:07 PM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
Pregnancy will solve everything.

Or not.

Probably not.
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26-04-2014, 10:09 AM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
Based on that confrontation your mom sounds like my wife pre meds and therapy. Based on the little you posted here, she needs help. Is your dad around? My wife got the picture when I told her to get her act together or get out.
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26-04-2014, 10:52 AM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
(25-04-2014 03:56 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  
(24-04-2014 09:11 AM)Can_of_Beans Wrote:  I'm curious if your mom has a problem with all interracial couples or just couples that include one black person.

My ex-wife is Chinese, and neither of our parents had a problem with her being Asian or me being white. However, if she was black my parents would have had a problem, and if I was black (or pretty much anything other than Chinese or Caucasian) her parents wouldn't have liked the relationship either.

To be honest, I think she just has a problem with couples that include a black person. The boy that I like is a mixture of black, white and Korean. But my very first boyfriend was Filipino and my mother didn't have a problem with him at all. In fact, she absolutely loved him.

That's kind of what I suspected. I think a lot of people who claim to have issues with mixed race relationships don't really care about the "mixed race" part. It's just a way they rationalize their own racism in order to make it seem less offensive and reduce their own cognitive dissonance because they know it's wrong don't consider themselves racist.

I wouldn't recommend pointing this out to your mom right now because she isn't acting like a reasonable person and you are still in a vulnerable position. But let's say things had worked out with your Filipino boyfriend and the two of you had a child. That child would be mixed race. Would she love your boyfriend, love you, approve of the relationship but then despise her grandchild because they are mixed? Probably not.

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26-04-2014, 11:36 AM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
(26-04-2014 10:09 AM)wazzel Wrote:  Based on that confrontation your mom sounds like my wife pre meds and therapy. Based on the little you posted here, she needs help. Is your dad around? My wife got the picture when I told her to get her act together or get out.

Nah, I haven't seen my dad in 10 years (parents divorced, he is now a recovering addict and lives hours away) but we keep in touch and he is very supportive. He's told me the same thing everyone else has whenever I've been kicked out in the past: get a job and get out of there as soon as possible.

(26-04-2014 10:52 AM)Can_of_Beans Wrote:  That's kind of what I suspected. I think a lot of people who claim to have issues with mixed race relationships don't really care about the "mixed race" part. It's just a way they rationalize their own racism in order to make it seem less offensive and reduce their own cognitive dissonance because they know it's wrong don't consider themselves racist.

I wouldn't recommend pointing this out to your mom right now because she isn't acting like a reasonable person and you are still in a vulnerable position. But let's say things had worked out with your Filipino boyfriend and the two of you had a child. That child would be mixed race. Would she love your boyfriend, love you, approve of the relationship but then despise her grandchild because they are mixed? Probably not.

She denies being racist at all, and uses the excuse "I wasn't brought up that way" and "our family thinks and views from a different time." It really angers me. She even asked what would my friends or people my age think or say, and I told her absolutely nothing. There are plenty of gay, lesbian and interracial couples at my school, and it's gotten to the point where nobody looks twice anymore. We're all used to it because the world we're growing up in has shown us to be accepting. It's normal now, but I don't expect her to ever see it that way. I have a cousin who's a bit crazy about black girls, and his mom is the same way towards him.
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26-04-2014, 02:59 PM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
Your mom sounds more and more like an all around terrible cunt of a person.

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26-04-2014, 03:02 PM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
(26-04-2014 02:59 PM)Tartarus Sauce Wrote:  Your mom sounds more and more like an all around terrible cunt of a person.




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26-04-2014, 03:31 PM (This post was last modified: 26-04-2014 03:38 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
(26-04-2014 11:36 AM)Ferdinand Wrote:  There are plenty of gay, lesbian and interracial couples at my school, and it's gotten to the point where nobody looks twice anymore. We're all used to it because the world we're growing up in has shown us to be accepting. It's normal now, ...

This is what I've observed in my children all close to your age and their social circles. Wasn't sure if it was just because in Maryland we are a highly intermixed population of race and religion which necessitates tolerance. (We call us a melting pot. Virginia calls us a cesspool.) It warms me cockles to see that is seen as normal among your High School in backasswards Bama. This means the game is over, the jig is up. I've said it before, I think the spasms we are witnessing now are the death throes of religion. My kids don't reject religion, they find it irrelevant. Not worth considering.

#sigh
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28-04-2014, 11:50 AM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
Thinking of you, hoping things are calming down with your Mom so you can concentrate on the last few weeks of school.

Heart


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