Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
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29-04-2014, 11:15 PM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
(28-04-2014 11:50 AM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  Thinking of you, hoping things are calming down with your Mom so you can concentrate on the last few weeks of school.

Heart

Well, they have within the past couple of days. This weekend it got really bad though. I heard the phrase "N*gger lover" a lot...

I'm just going to give up and come to terms with the fact that my mom will most likely never be okay with it. Meaning: I'll either have to let go/avoid any further progression of my feelings, or hide it until I'm out of the house/no longer having to rely on her and dismiss myself from telling her any details of my relationships.

Today I was out with some friends, two of which consisted of the boy I like and his friend, and my mom texted me, word for word, "You better be doing what you're supposed to do and not doing what will get you disowned. Still don't trust you."

It just sucks.
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29-04-2014, 11:19 PM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
(29-04-2014 11:15 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  
(28-04-2014 11:50 AM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  Thinking of you, hoping things are calming down with your Mom so you can concentrate on the last few weeks of school.

Heart

Well, they have within the past couple of days. This weekend it got really bad though. I heard the phrase "N*gger lover" a lot...

I'm just going to give up and come to terms with the fact that my mom will most likely never be okay with it. Meaning: I'll either have to let go/avoid any further progression of my feelings, or hide it until I'm out of the house/no longer having to rely on her and dismiss myself from telling her any details of my relationships.

Today I was out with some friends, two of which consisted of the boy I like and his friend, and my mom texted me, word for word, "You better be doing what you're supposed to do and not doing what will get you disowned. Still don't trust you."

It just sucks.

I'm not for violence against women, it makes me sick in fact and no offense but I just want to smack some sense into her really hard. Skin color does not define a person, their personality does and if he is a good guy then it should not matter.

"If you keep trying to better yourself that's enough for me. We don't decide which hand we are dealt in life, but we make the decision to play it or fold it" - Nishi Karano Kaze
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29-04-2014, 11:28 PM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
(29-04-2014 11:19 PM)JDog554 Wrote:  
(29-04-2014 11:15 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  Well, they have within the past couple of days. This weekend it got really bad though. I heard the phrase "N*gger lover" a lot...

I'm just going to give up and come to terms with the fact that my mom will most likely never be okay with it. Meaning: I'll either have to let go/avoid any further progression of my feelings, or hide it until I'm out of the house/no longer having to rely on her and dismiss myself from telling her any details of my relationships.

Today I was out with some friends, two of which consisted of the boy I like and his friend, and my mom texted me, word for word, "You better be doing what you're supposed to do and not doing what will get you disowned. Still don't trust you."

It just sucks.

I'm not for violence against women, it makes me sick in fact and no offense but I just want to smack some sense into her really hard. Skin color does not define a person, their personality does and if he is a good guy then it should not matter.

He is a good person. He's intelligent, kind, he's going to college, and he was polite to my mom when and while she confronted him about his skin color (which was fucking embarrassing.)
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29-04-2014, 11:50 PM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
(29-04-2014 11:28 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  
(29-04-2014 11:19 PM)JDog554 Wrote:  I'm not for violence against women, it makes me sick in fact and no offense but I just want to smack some sense into her really hard. Skin color does not define a person, their personality does and if he is a good guy then it should not matter.

He is a good person. He's intelligent, kind, he's going to college, and he was polite to my mom when and while she confronted him about his skin color (which was fucking embarrassing.)

He sounds like a great guy! I'm sure your lucky to have him and vice versa

"If you keep trying to better yourself that's enough for me. We don't decide which hand we are dealt in life, but we make the decision to play it or fold it" - Nishi Karano Kaze
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30-04-2014, 03:28 AM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
If you were talking about this kind of behaviour from a partner then everyone would call it an abusive relationship. She is expecting, and exercising complete power over you. If she is actually willing to disown you then why should she care what you do with your life? She is fixating on the interracial relationship because she is racist but if that were not an issue something else would be. The only way forward is to gain your independence as soon as possible and then let her know without any doubt that she has no power over you whatsoever. That will probably require letting her realise that she is the one that needs to build bridges if she is going to see you ever again. Until that time, she will treat you as her property.
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06-05-2014, 10:38 AM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
(23-04-2014 09:53 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  I'm already 18. I just haven't graduated yet, and am still living under the roof of my mother. Her house, her rules.

^^This!

Discussion over.

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06-05-2014, 02:24 PM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
(06-05-2014 10:38 AM)BlackMason Wrote:  
(23-04-2014 09:53 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  I'm already 18. I just haven't graduated yet, and am still living under the roof of my mother. Her house, her rules.

^^This!

Discussion over.

Well that was helpful.
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06-05-2014, 03:52 PM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
(06-05-2014 02:24 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  
(06-05-2014 10:38 AM)BlackMason Wrote:  ^^This!

Discussion over.

Well that was helpful.

Well, you got my 2000'th like, so hope that helps or something.


And I'm afraid your mom sounds like a douche that doesn't understand what goes around comes around. I wonder how she's gonna feel one day when she might need you to take care of her, and how it's going to feel if you refuse to do so.

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07-05-2014, 07:49 AM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
(06-05-2014 03:52 PM)ELK12695 Wrote:  
(06-05-2014 02:24 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  Well that was helpful.

Well, you got my 2000'th like, so hope that helps or something.


And I'm afraid your mom sounds like a douche that doesn't understand what goes around comes around. I wonder how she's gonna feel one day when she might need you to take care of her, and how it's going to feel if you refuse to do so.

Put her in a nursing home with the most multiracial staff you can find.

That sounds fair enough.

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07-05-2014, 08:00 AM
RE: Hiding my interracial friend/relationship from my mom
(29-04-2014 11:15 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  
(28-04-2014 11:50 AM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  Thinking of you, hoping things are calming down with your Mom so you can concentrate on the last few weeks of school.

Heart

Well, they have within the past couple of days. This weekend it got really bad though. I heard the phrase "N*gger lover" a lot...

I'm just going to give up and come to terms with the fact that my mom will most likely never be okay with it. Meaning: I'll either have to let go/avoid any further progression of my feelings, or hide it until I'm out of the house/no longer having to rely on her and dismiss myself from telling her any details of my relationships.

Today I was out with some friends, two of which consisted of the boy I like and his friend, and my mom texted me, word for word, "You better be doing what you're supposed to do and not doing what will get you disowned. Still don't trust you."

It just sucks.

Trust...smh. I really think its you that shouldn't be trusting her. If you think you are walking on eggshells now, it will get worse after you graduate. Have you started doing some of the prep work we talked about earlier in this thread? Talk to your aunt and the bank about those funds? Getting some of the things that mean the most to you to a friends house? Talk with the parents of your friends for an emergency place to crash? Find a job?

I really think she will get worse after you graduate. You are in an abusive relationship with her....get out.


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