Hilariously Embarrassing Moments...
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03-09-2015, 06:38 PM
RE: Hilariously Embarrassing Moments...
(03-09-2015 06:34 PM)jennybee Wrote:  
(03-09-2015 04:23 PM)Grasshopper Wrote:  I have never used one. I never even heard of them until just recently, and I'm still not sure exactly what they're used for.

I have heard of them--just never used one. I kind of like things au naturel. But you could always get one and try it--and if you don't like it, here are some other uses for it:

Door stopper:

[Image: 62809daea64b08067a1cc99b79f9f20e.jpg]

Juicer:

[Image: 34800abe05e0ecbc9a20773ae8ce42dc.jpg]

Winestopper:

[Image: 22-funny-wine-and-butt-plug-hack.png]

A McDonald's character:

[Image: b50cead184cafd8d96086933d5dabe6f.jpg]

Apparently, they also make great conversation starters. Blush

Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up.

"Let me give you some advice, bastard: never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you." - Tyrion Lannister
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03-09-2015, 07:26 PM
RE: Hilariously Embarrassing Moments...
Not me but still funny.

[Image: Funny_6b23b3_190815.png]

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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03-09-2015, 09:31 PM (This post was last modified: 03-09-2015 09:42 PM by Banjo.)
RE: Hilariously Embarrassing Moments...
When a young man I had a date with two gorgeous blondes. I took them to a fancy restaurant. I was the envy of every man there.

At the meals completion I thought I would stack all the plates and place them on the shelf next to our table.

Them trouble was it was not a bench. It was a thin partition with a table directly opposite. I shall never forget them scream as our plates landed on that table and food went everywhere. Nor the expression on the face of the man who looked in shock over the partition at me.

I was no longer the envy of every man there. Smile

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03-09-2015, 10:17 PM
RE: Hilariously Embarrassing Moments...
(03-09-2015 06:38 PM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  
(03-09-2015 06:34 PM)jennybee Wrote:  I have heard of them--just never used one. I kind of like things au naturel. But you could always get one and try it--and if you don't like it, here are some other uses for it:

Door stopper:

[Image: 62809daea64b08067a1cc99b79f9f20e.jpg]

Juicer:

[Image: 34800abe05e0ecbc9a20773ae8ce42dc.jpg]

Winestopper:

[Image: 22-funny-wine-and-butt-plug-hack.png]

A McDonald's character:

[Image: b50cead184cafd8d96086933d5dabe6f.jpg]

Apparently, they also make great conversation starters. Blush

Here is a lovely baby Jesus Butt Plug!
[Image: jesus.jpg]

I just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now. Heart
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03-09-2015, 11:23 PM
RE: Hilariously Embarrassing Moments...
I can think of only one really... I used to live in the same town as an ex-SA marathon champion, very well known here. I kinda heroine-worshiped her. I'd often pass her when we were out running in the mornings - one morning as we passed I waved, as I waved I stepped off the kerb and face-planted. Not my finest moment...

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(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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04-09-2015, 08:33 PM
RE: Hilariously Embarrassing Moments...
My home town has an annual bike week when the sea front is parked up end to end with bikes and bikers from all over the country. Just after I'd passed my test I went down there on my little Suzuki GP100 and cruised along admiring the bikes and thinking I'm totally in with this crowd.

On one of the roundabouts I guess I hit a patch of oil or something, my back wheel slid out from under me and down I went. Of course everyone was helpful but I was mortified.

"While religions tell us next to nothing useful or true about the universe, they do tell us an enormous amount - perhaps an embarrassing amount - about ourselves, about what we value, fear and lust after." Iain M Banks
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10-09-2015, 12:57 AM
RE: Hilariously Embarrassing Moments...
I was in 5th grade and we had an end of school pool party. My swimsuit gave me a wedgie and I walked out of the pool in front of everyone when a guy pointed it out to me Unsure

I always wear shorts over the bottom now. I'm very modest anyway Yes
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10-09-2015, 05:41 AM
RE: Hilariously Embarrassing Moments...
(03-09-2015 01:09 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  
(03-09-2015 12:20 PM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  Consider

Wait... was it already outside of you and you were trying to toss it away... or are you really good at ping pong?

After the second kid was born I began shopping for birth control. Something kinda simple to use (can't take the pill and didn't want an IUD -- which ironically I ended up getting eventually).

So, I'm in the stirrups with the little paper gown over me...my doctor explained my options and fitted me with diaphragm.

Then she wanted to be sure that I could actually insert it -- some women have issues touching themselves but not I. Doc loaded it with lube and told me try to insert it...she said the easiest way was to fold it like a taco.....

I, with much confidence, took the thing and held it between my fingers like a taco and just as I said, "like this?" the thing slipped from between my fingers shot across the room and hit my doctor between the eyes.

I was horrified, blinking, fingers still in the air empty, and my words still fresh that I could hear them.

The doctor made a quick exit...where I heard another voice ask why they had lube on their nose. Mortified, I hung my head in shame as I heard the words...

"omg you're not going to believe this." followed by a minute or two of melting down laughter.

She returned shortly after and had donned one of those face guards to protect her from another assault. She scooped the thing up from the floor, washed it thoroughly reapplied the lube and said, "let's try this again...fold it like a taco...."

Blush

I did manage to not repeat it...and all was well.

I received a letter shortly after she had moved to another practice -- I secretly believe I was the reason.

I am seriously dying here Laugh out load This reads like a lost scene from There's Something About Mary Big Grin

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