Hollow.
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15-02-2014, 01:31 AM
RE: Hollow.
(15-02-2014 01:16 AM)Logisch Wrote:  
(15-02-2014 01:10 AM)Atothetheist Wrote:  It has NOTHING to do with arguing the same points over and over. It has everything with having complete apathy towards a situation. Just today, a person came up to me and asked me what I thought about Kansas and how they might pass a law about discrimination against gays, and all I said was "I don't care."

Scientific inquiry no longer interests me, and it has nothing to do with arguing the same points over and over with. I do not go on theistic forum sites, I am talking SPECIFICALLY about the issues that my good friends bring up, and the banal and trivial chit-chat that follows. I have no drive to connect with people anymore. I have no drive to maintain relationships.

I don't want people to hold my hand. However, I do not need patronization, and the typical "growing up" bullshit.

If the person I am growing up to be is no longer interested in free inquiry, or scientific discoveries, then fuck that guy, bring the old me back.

A2, I was calm and polite in my response to you, I fail to see why you need to insinuate frustration in your reply back to me.

I was not saying that you should, won't or are not interested in free inquiry, discoveries or otherwise. My point is that our concentration on the now changes dramatically with time and everything that happens.

I like astronomy, I find it interesting, I love it, it's who I am. Yet there are times I won't touch my telescope for months. Do you think that means I'm no longer interested in it or that it kills part of who I am? I always come back to it, my interests very much are what define me, just as yours define you.

Have you considered that maybe you're lacking motivation or going through some depression? I know no one enjoys admitting to those things, I personally suffer through depression swings myself. No one is themselves when they go through them and can often leave you with feelings of "hollow" or "empty" or just bland feelings. Lacking motivation to do the things you do, the things you enjoy, etc. Some people suffer through it situationally, others due to chemical imbalances.

That said, if you are asking for help and advice, the least you could do is not snap at the people who give 2 shits about you. People are only trying to help.

I'm sorry.

My values (hell the majority of my personal beliefs) are based in the intellectual. I still value intellect, science, logic, thinking, and honesty. However, I am slowly finding no interest in pursuing any of these things.

It's not that my values have changed, because they haven't. So I haven't been growing up in that aspect, it's that my interest in them has dwindled dramatically.

I can sincerely say this is how I currently feel: Fuck science, fuck equality, fuck reason, fuck everyone/everything. However, while I currently feel this way, I still see that maintaining relationships with the people I care(ed) about is the way I want to go, lest hollow-ness be temporary, but the consequences of me fully acting on it be permanent.

It's not that I hate you, I really don't. I just don't particularly like you right now. Don't take it personally, I currently think that of almost everyone.

I apologize if I am acting rude in any way, such is not the intention, truly.

I know that it's a bad idea to abandon the people/things I like, but it's seriously hard to NOT come off as it.

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15-02-2014, 01:32 AM
RE: Hollow.
A2,

I had noticed a change. I was wondering whether there was some impact on your psyche after the events of last year we witnessed here.

I tried to ask you about it but you brushed me aside.

Your posted christmas message seemed like it had some subtext of epitaph.

I'm not going to give you platitudes about growing up. Sure, we change as we age but fuck it! you are simply not old enough to lose your fire!

I miss the angry young man. I really do.

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15-02-2014, 01:40 AM
RE: Hollow.
A2, I respect your ability to analyze your current situation, your actions and responses in the now and potential of what it may cause you in the future. It's an attribute that even when upset, frustrated or confused, many people lack the ability to do so and so many people are incapable of sensing and analyzing that. I respect that a lot about you. I wish I could have done that at your age.

From a point of analysis, bear in mind that loss of favorite activities, interests, feeling empty, being sad or irritable, these are signs of being depressed. If that is indeed the case, I would say this is "not you" and rather something causing it. It's the first thing that comes to mind with you mentioning these things. Depression doesn't have to be a feeling like there is no hope or you just hate getting out of bed. It can be as bland and monotonous and linear from day to day that simply causes you to feel hollow.

If perhaps my understanding of what you are describing doesn't align with that and you feel that is not correct, then by all means I will admit and say, "Sorry for the incorrect assertion." but if it is the case, it is best to do something and get some help with it than let it continue. As someone who lives with depression swings on a regular basis, it's not worth allowing it to sit and eat at you and be unhappy day to day.

In regards to the "don't take it personally" statement, none taken.

Official ordained minister of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Please pm me with prayer requests to his noodly goodness. Remember, he boiled for your sins and loves you. Carbo Diem! RAmen.
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15-02-2014, 06:59 AM
RE: Hollow.
“When things got hard, you started looking for something to blame. Like a Big Shadow. Let me tell you something you already know. The world isn't all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it
You’ve gotta hit as hard as life. It isn’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much can you take and keep moving forward? That’s how winning is done"

Believe it or not those words are from a Rocky film

I have a lot of respect for you Steven. You are a very wise young man who, by your personal circumstances regarding religion being forced upon you, should not be here. What I mean by that is you have been wise and brave enough to use your own brain to look past the brainwashing that society/religion/peers has been hoisting upon you. Now that you are fighting back against it (and have prob been fighting for a very long time) You have made it clear (to your parents) that you wish to be an individual, have your own thoughts and feelings and live your life your own way. Free from bullshit "Judgement" and now you have made a stand it can appear to be a lonely place.

I know that inside you, just like everybody else who suffers from long terms of feeling down, that the strong person is still there. That wise and caring lad we all know is still there. People change but our core aspects still remain.

I hope things start to get better for you bro, you have come a long way in such a short time. Be strong Hug

For no matter how much I use these symbols, to describe symptoms of my existence.
You are your own emphasis.
So I say nothing.

-Bemore.
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15-02-2014, 07:20 AM (This post was last modified: 15-02-2014 07:49 AM by Bucky Ball.)
RE: Hollow.
You *could* be experiencing "rebound depression" from having resolved your connection issue .. even if just slightly. Maybe you were (subconsciously) expecting *everything* to be all light and hearts when you actually communicated. Maybe your real family has a history of (actual physical as in chemical) depression. Ask your real mom about that. Maybe it's just your brain growing. Everyone goes through the "blas". Sounds like you have the "serious" blas tho. Go tell your doc. It's about the time other things might show up .. ike a thyroid disorder .. which can cause depression. So rule out the physical causes, then, my friend (who is an ER doc) tells people your age when they come in with this sort of thing, to go do something totally different. If you can't take a real vacation (different physical location), do something totally out of the ordinary (as in physical), such as paint ball, or (rock) climbing or something that is a physical challenge, (and fun).

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein Certified Ancient Astronaut Theorist & Levitating Yogi
John 15:16 : "You did not choose me, I chose you, so that you might go and bear fruit--fruit that will last"

Lots of fruits in beligion.
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15-02-2014, 08:59 AM
RE: Hollow.
(15-02-2014 12:41 AM)Ferdinand Wrote:  You're growing up. Everything changes. You change.

You're constantly changing, and you don't stop changing.

You'll encounter periods such as these on several occasions throughout your lifetime.

It may seem bad now, but in the future, it won't seem as bad at all.

Hug

Ferdie hit it on the spot here.

Looks to me like you have gone from looking at everything around you to looking at everything inside of you.

That's because you are changing, and we all hate change. It's kind of nuts, we need change to keep evolving on a personal level, yet we have an innate resistance to it.

So, every time we change, we get unhappy. Then we adjust, get happy again, and - boom - there comes another change. And, Ferdie is right again, it never stops.

It would be a sad thing if we didn't evolve on a personal level. Just think about it.

While one is in the process of changing, while one is integrating new ways to look at things, it is upsetting. But in hindsight one is always glad it happened that way.

Change is growth. If you stopped changing and growing and seeing things in a new light, you'd be living a life where every day is the same, you'd never get anywhere.

Me thinks you are outgrowing your buddies at this time....

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Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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15-02-2014, 10:02 AM
RE: Hollow.
A2

I wont bother trying to give you advice because I know you, and your're a stubborn little butthead (BTW, I like that about you)

So just come to Oregon, let Near and I beat the crap out of you with things such as fuzzy kittens, carousel rides, and sea lion caves.

Oh and rubix cube puzzles.....Near can share those for hours...and hours... Tongue

Seriously though, it sounds like depression, maybe you should go and find a professional to talk to? It does help I hear. Smile

PS. Send me a text on the real phone sometime. It would be cool to catch up.

The Out Crowd.
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15-02-2014, 11:15 AM (This post was last modified: 15-02-2014 11:19 AM by Atothetheist.)
RE: Hollow.
(15-02-2014 10:02 AM)Hobbitgirl Wrote:  A2

I wont bother trying to give you advice because I know you, and your're a stubborn little butthead (BTW, I like that about you)

So just come to Oregon, let Near and I beat the crap out of you with things such as fuzzy kittens, carousel rides, and sea lion caves.

Oh and rubix cube puzzles.....Near can share those for hours...and hours... Tongue

Seriously though, it sounds like depression, maybe you should go and find a professional to talk to? It does help I hear. Smile

PS. Send me a text on the real phone sometime. It would be cool to catch up.

Will do.

EDIT: I may have lost your number.... hehehehe.

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Credit goes to UndercoverAtheist.
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15-02-2014, 11:21 AM
RE: Hollow.
Hope you get feeling better Ato.

See here they are, the bruises, some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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15-02-2014, 11:22 AM
RE: Hollow.
(15-02-2014 11:15 AM)Atothetheist Wrote:  
(15-02-2014 10:02 AM)Hobbitgirl Wrote:  A2

I wont bother trying to give you advice because I know you, and your're a stubborn little butthead (BTW, I like that about you)

So just come to Oregon, let Near and I beat the crap out of you with things such as fuzzy kittens, carousel rides, and sea lion caves.

Oh and rubix cube puzzles.....Near can share those for hours...and hours... Tongue

Seriously though, it sounds like depression, maybe you should go and find a professional to talk to? It does help I hear. Smile

PS. Send me a text on the real phone sometime. It would be cool to catch up.

Will do.

EDIT: I may have lost your number.... hehehehe.

Fine. Be that way you old goat Tongue

The Out Crowd.
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